Exhaustion & sleeping poorly

squirrly

Not an exciting NWR post, but it's what I've got. 

How many hours a night do you sleep?  Are you generally tired at work?  What do you do to combat that?  If you're sleeping poorly on a regular basis, what do you do to fix it? 

I'm averaging about 5 - 6 hours/night right now.  H isn't working this month, so he sleeps late, which means he isn't tired when I'm ready to go to bed.  So, between going to bed solo, him coming in later, and the 60 pound Boxer puppy jumping on the bed at every opportunity, I'm not getting good sleep for those 5 - 6 hours either.  And it's catching up with me.  Help me out, please!

Brie2010

I can't function on less than 7.  I usually am in bed by 10 and up at 6.  I'm not usually tired.

I'd suggest crate training the puppy and crating him at night.  GL!

rbtrumpet

I haven't been sleeping a lot/well due to wedding stuff lately.

Have you ever heard of/tried Valerian?  It's a natural herbal-remedy type thing, that's a sleep aid - but herbal so it's not addictive, and not super powerful (won't knock you out for the next 10 hour).  I use it every once in a while, and have had good results with it....

jakeryan08

Take Melatonin. It is a natural vitamin that helps regulate your sleeping schedule. You can get it at most local stores such as Target, WalMart, Walgreens. I get about 7 hours of sleep and when stress is high it's a lot less. I suggest relaxing for about thirty minutes before you go to bed and talking to your husband about getting on a good schedule for you.

crfische

I really am exhausted lately. I'm just too darn busy.

I usually get about 5 or 6 hours of sleep and I'm not usually tired on that, but I have been lately. I feel like I could just fall right over.

akhensley81

I typically get 6ish hours of sleep during the week, and 8-9 on the weekends. I've found I function fine on that schedule, but if something happens on the weekend that prevents me from "catching up" I'm toasted.

I'll take 1 Benadryl before I go to bed if I feel like I need to sleep well. But I need to make sure I have at least 8 hours... otherwise I'm silly groggy when I try to get up. All it really does is keep me asleep during the night.

[Deleted User]

I've had bad insomnia since middle school, it comes and goes. Rigth now I'm getting maybe 4 hours a night. I hate how groggy sleeping pills make me though, so I tried taking all-natural melatonin pills. They work really well in making me fall asleep, but I still wake up 6 or 7 times a night. I'm exhausted, but I get used to it and take naps when I get home from work.

H will sleep on the couch if he's up really late and I'm actually asleep, because guaranteed I'll wake up if he comes in. It helps, but at the same time it sucks sleeping alone. As for the puppy, ditto PP about crate training for nighttime. We had to lock the cat out of the room for awhile because he would attack our feet in the middle of the night, then put up a baby gate because he kept scratching at the door.

Trifury2007

I try to get 8 hours a night but mostly just succeed at getting 6ish.  Lately getting only 6 hours has left me tired at work.  Not much to do to combat it since I don't drink anything with caffeine.  When I get into a cycle of sleeping poorly I will take a sleeping pill to 'teach' my body to sleep through the night again and that usually works.  Good Luck!

akhensley81

trumpet- Valerian works well for me, too.

InferiorToKaos

I've been pretty exhausted as well, taking care of the puppies keeps me up alot of the time.  Right now I'm averaging about 3 1/2-5 hours of sleep a night.  It's catching up with me for sure.  I'm almost to the point of taking a Nyquil so I can actually get a full 7 hours of sleep.

danieliza1127

I get about 7 hours a night, but we just changed our schedules starting today so I should start getting about 8, which I think will be perfect for me.  I don't do well on less than 7 hours. 

It sounds like your main problem is waking up throughout the night, when your H comes to bed and because of your dog.  I'd try working on those issues first.  My H comes to bed later than me a lot of nights too, but we've pretty much gotten it down to where he does everything he needs to do as quietly as possible so that most times I don't even wake up when he comes to bed.  Maybe you can have a talk with H about whatever it is he's doing that is waking you up, and ask him to stop doing those things.  Unless you're just such a light sleeper that him just getting into bed wakes you, then you might just have to deal with it until he starts working and going to bed with you. 

As for the dog, I don't know, like Brie said maybe crate training?  Or just keeping the dog out of the bedroom at night? 

Other tricks, face the clock away from you so that you don't ever look at it.  It kind of keeps you from seeing what time it is and stressing over the fact that you're still awake.  Also, get darker curtains to block out morning light.  Try drinking chamomile or a roobios tea before bed, that really relaxes me and makes me sleepy.

Kristin789

I'm the one in our house who isn't working this month, and I can stay up late and sleep late.

But here's my best idea, for your DH and for me:  We need to realize that our spouse has to go to bed at a normal time, and we need to wrap up what we're doing and go to bed with the spouse.  It's truly disruptive to have someone come in and get in bed several hours after the other spouse has already gone to bed and is sleeping deeply.

Sure, the spouse who has to go to work in the morning must get up early.  And non-working spouses can stay in bed for a while longer if they choose.

But the problem seems to be going to bed together so that one spouse doesn't get into a deep sleep, and then get bounced around and woken up several hours later by the other spouse getting in bed.

And you need to either crate your dog at night or train him to sleep in his new bed in the corner of the bedroom or kitchen.  The dog really shouldn't be in the bed while you and DH are getting a good deep night's sleep.

mandysmear

How many hours a night do you sleep?  Lately... 6-7.  I need 7.5 - 9 hours in order to wake up and not be all "fuuuuuuuuuuck, i don't wanna!" 
Are you generally tired at work?  Yes.  Lately I am.  Today I am not because I got 7.5 hours!  Yay!
What do you do to combat that?  Go to bed earlier.  Drink lots of cold water.  Go to the bathroom every hour... just to walk around.  Have a coffee or hot chocolate in the afternoon.  Snack on veggies and 100 cal snack packs. 
If you're sleeping poorly on a regular basis, what do you do to fix it? Go to bed early.

That's all I can offer you.  OR Nap when you get home, then go to bed with H later on. 

Last night I didn't wake up when H got home and I slept so good.  The nights that I wake up when he gets home, I just don't feel good the next day.  Even if including my nap I got 8+ hours.

opalsky007

I sleep 7, but still feel like crap. I'm blaming it on a mixture of allergies and our crappy mattress, which gives me tension headaches because my shoulders are all knotted up.

In order to sleep through the night I have to do something pretty boring before bed or my mind won't shut off. Usually it winds up being Good Eats reruns.

I didn't know you had a boxer! I'm not a dog person, but even I think boxers are awesome. My upstairs neighbors have a 110 lb boxer, and he's the sweetest thing ever.

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_exhaustion-sleeping-poorly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9499d4d9-1a9f-47af-9b93-da381f59b1fcPost:98b9397d-42fb-443a-bbc8-6432978933dc">Re: Exhaustion & sleeping poorly</a>:
[QUOTE]I get about 7 hours a night, but we just changed our schedules starting today so I should start getting about 8, which I think will be perfect for me.  I don't do well on less than 7 hours.  It sounds like your main problem is waking up throughout the night, when your H comes to bed and because of your dog.  I'd try working on those issues first.  My H comes to bed later than me a lot of nights too, but we've pretty much gotten it down to where he does everything he needs to do as quietly as possible so that most times I don't even wake up when he comes to bed.  Maybe you can have a talk with H about whatever it is he's doing that is waking you up, and ask him to stop doing those things.  Unless you're just such a light sleeper that him just getting into bed wakes you, then you might just have to deal with it until he starts working and going to bed with you.  As for the dog, I don't know, like Brie said maybe crate training?  Or just keeping the dog out of the bedroom at night?  Other tricks, face the clock away from you so that you don't ever look at it.  It kind of keeps you from seeing what time it is and stressing over the fact that you're still awake.  <strong>Also, get darker curtains to block out morning light.</strong>  Try drinking chamomile or a roobios tea before bed, that really relaxes me and makes me sleepy.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

This makes SUCH a difference. And if you get the insulated ones, they'll save you on heating/AC too. It'd be a good way to use all those post-wedding BBB gift cards.

danieliza1127

Yeah, also naps.  I am a morning person so I'm fine until about right now, 2:00 in the afternoon.  If I take a 20-30 minute nap when I get home from work, I'll be great the rest of the night and still have no problems going to bed by 11:00.

Kristin#s actually makes a good point. 

polichik

I'm not working right now, so I usually get about 10 hours of sleep. My body runs best on 9-9.5, so I'm really lucky to be able to keep this schedule right now.

I can do OK on 7 or 8, but I'm always dragging badly in the late morning or early afternoon. I try to avoid caffeine, but I resort to it occasionally. I'm a very light sleeper, so I know my sleep isn't of as good a quality as it could be.

squirrly

Can't crate the boxer.  He has such awful separation/crate anxiety, he's DESTROYED 3 crates so far.  Both metal and plastic.  Just eats through the plastic.  The metal he licks till it rusts out.  He slams his head into it over and over and over all day till it bends, too.  Crate training is absolutely 100% not an option for this guy.  He actually just turned 2, so he's on the verge of not being a puppy.  If we didn't let him in the room, he'd attack the door all night to get to us.  He's super sweet, but doesn't deal well with being kept away from us.  EVERY TIME he jumps on the bed I make him get down, but it still wakes me up.  It'll probably get worse in the winter if he's cold on the floor.

As for expecting H to come to bed with me - nope.  He can't just lay in the dark.  One of his PTSD complications. 

I need to try to go to bed earlier, but we've been so busy at night working on the house that it's hard to do so.  The blackout curtains are a good idea - does BBB carry those? 

As for the bed, I think it's fine.  I bought it in 2003.  I don't remember if it's Sealy or Serta, but it's one of those, and at the time was one of their best made matresses.  We don't have a pricey new one in the budget right now. 

FutureMrsTR

I never really thoguht I'd say this, but I agree with Kristen#s.  FI is unemployed right now, but it got to the point where I was like, "Listen, I need you to go to bed and get up with me in the morning.  I don't like going to be alone and it just makes me annoyed when I have to go to work and you're all comfy in bed.  So at least go through the motions for me."  And he does and he's usually tired enough to go to bed with me since he's getting up before I leave for work.

opalsky007

Yeah, check out the "energy saving/room darkening" tab under window treatments. They actually have a lot of selection.

laurenclaire1386

I'm having sleeping problems too. It started when FI took the traveling job he has now. At first, I chalked it up to not being used to sleeping without FI and being slightly freaked out about sleepig in the house alone. But it's been five months since he's started traveling, and now I'm pretty well adjusted to sleeping without him and being alone at night doesn't bother me any more. But I still can't sleep. I've tried OTC sleep meds, herbal tea, and herbal supplements (melatonin and pharma-gaba) and nothing has worked. I finally broke down and made a dr. appointment. Not being able to sleep, or not sleeping well when I do sleep is starting to really drag me down. I hate going the prescribed meds route, but I'm out of options, as far as I can see. And frustrated.

danieliza1127

Squirrly, you can get black out curtains pretty much anywhere that sells curtains.  You can also just hang or attach black or dark brown sheets behind curtains you already have if you already have curtains you like.

You need to pick a bed time and start making yourself stick to it.  Mine is between 10 and 11, so around 10, I start winding down.  Make some tea, stop working on the house, get into PJs, whatever you need to do.  Just pick a certain time that works for you to start winding down and then go to bed.  Make it a habit and it will become one.  Your H is going to have to start going to bed earlier at some point right?

squirrly

Yeah, he'll end up getting up before me, most likely, when he goes back on orders.  But, we just don't know when that will be right now.  At least 2 weeks, but could be 6. 

Knittibell

Sticking to a routine helps. Also, if I'm really struggling I'll take "simply sleep" (tylenol PM without the tylenol) or a benadryl before bed for a couple of days, just to get a solid 7-8 hours for a few nights. Herbal supplements didn't agree with me. Ditto PPs, there are a lot of good suggestions, and I hope you get some sleep soon!

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_exhaustion-sleeping-poorly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9499d4d9-1a9f-47af-9b93-da381f59b1fcPost:86583590-dd22-44a8-98d3-6b8cbdfa517b">Re: Exhaustion & sleeping poorly</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, he'll end up getting up before me, most likely, when he goes back on orders.  But, we just don't know when that will be right now.  At least 2 weeks, but could be 6. 
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

So why can't he go ahead and get himself into a routine with you of going to bed at the same time?  If he starts now, it'll be easier for him in a few weeks when he has to do it anyway.  To start, he can just start getting up early when you do so that he's tired at night when you are and isn't just laying there awake.

squirrly

Sorry I keep disappearing - I'm in class & occasionally have to pay attention.   

I think it's difficult for him - he wants to "enjoy" his time off, which means getting to sleep in, to him.  I've suggested that to him, and he wants to help me out, and still make the most of this break, I suppose.  I'll mention it again.  I think if he had a routine during the day that he needed to adhere to, it would make it easier for him.  Back to work for him will be good for both of us. 

Meg1979

I've been getting about 6 hours of sleep a night, which I think is contributing to me being sick all the time.  I've missed a lot of work and that's stressing me out, too, because I'm not getting paid for that time off.  I just have to keep it together enough to get to work and last the day.