processional question

vexie

Hello everyone!

So the big day is just 55 days away... holy smokes!!

We have a question that I know you gals will be able to answer for us....  My fiance will be walking the mother of his late wife up the isle, coming back and then escorting his mother up the isle.  At that time he will take his place at the front with the minister and BM while my nephew escorts my mother up the isle.   I will be walking up the isle on my own, stopping half-way and waiting for my FI to join me and escort me the rest of the way.   That I know...   Our question is what happens to the former FIL, FIL to be be and my father?  Are they already seated waiting for their wives to join them or do they just follow behind their wife?  I can't quite get my head around what would look best and any advice would be appreciated

thanks!

Mrs.B6302007

It's aisle.  ;-)

And I'm confused.  Your FI will be waiting at the front and then walk down the aisle to meet you and walk you up? 

Mrs.B6302007

Oh, and yes, the husbands can walk behind their wives as they're being escorted. 

noodle_oo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_processional-question-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:94dcf2d2-be6d-4d7f-9a9d-adb1b9156c77Post:5666b649-feb3-462f-aba5-844d871800b1">processional question</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello everyone! So the big day is just 55 days away... holy smokes!! :) We have a question that I know you gals will be able to answer for us....  <strong>My fiance will be walking the mother of his late wife up the isle</strong>, coming back and then escorting his mother up the isle.  At that time he will take his place at the front with the minister and BM while my nephew escorts my mother up the isle.   I will be walking up the isle on my own, stopping half-way and waiting for my FI to join me and escort me the rest of the way.   That I know...   Our question is what happens to the former FIL, FIL to be be and my father?  Are they already seated waiting for their wives to join them or do they just follow behind their wife?  I can't quite get my head around what would look best and any advice would be appreciated :) thanks!
Posted by vexie[/QUOTE]

Huh?  Why is the mother of his late wife a guest of honor?

Personally, I would have the fathers/husbands walk their wives up by themselves.  Like his former MIL/FIL, then his mom/dad, then you could have your mom/dad walk themselves.  It seems excessive to have your FI escort everyone and then come back to escort you as well.  Just have him wait for you at the end of the aisle and walk yourself down. MUCH cleaner and less confusing.

LP11509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_processional-question-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:94dcf2d2-be6d-4d7f-9a9d-adb1b9156c77Post:e8c8ea47-3477-491c-90cd-7dd76f7bb79e">Re: processional question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to processional question : Huh? <strong> Why is the mother of his late wife a guest of honor?</strong> Personally, I would have the fathers/husbands walk their wives up by themselves.  Like his former MIL/FIL, then his mom/dad, then you could have your mom/dad walk themselves.  It seems excessive to have your FI escort everyone and then come back to escort you as well.  Just have him wait for you at the end of the aisle and walk yourself down. MUCH cleaner and less confusing.
Posted by noodle_oo[/QUOTE]

<div>I wondered the same thing, then thought maybe because she's the grandmother to her FI's children (if he has any)? But yeah it seemed a bit strange to me, too.</div><div>
</div><div>ETA: My brother was a groomsman, but he also escorted my mom down the aisle first.  So he walked her down, then went around back again to walk down with a BM.  Nobody thought anything of it, although I suppose it might be a bit different if he had been the groom instead of my brother...</div>

nda_roxybabe

Huh.

SEWF

It does seem quite excessive for your FI to walk everyone in. If he really wants to walk them down the aisle, maybe he could walk them both down at the same time with their husbands following behind them. Or have the BM walk someone down the aisle. Then your FI could meet you halfway and it wouldn't seems like too much.

Mrs.B6302007

Things really would be a lot easier just to have the husbands escort their wives and you to walk alone all the way.

vexie

Sorry, I guess it is a rather unique situation re: the former in-laws.  Long story short, both of their children have died before the age of 30.  My FI has two small girls with his late wife who are the life of his former in-laws.  They have welcomed me with open arms and have even introduced me as their future daughter-in-law.  I'm not... and they know that... but that's how close of a relationship we have with them.  My FI's family lives several hous away so we don't see them very often.... and it's just a fact that we will now have 3 families to love the girls for the rest of their lives.  I'm not threatened by their presence, they are veyr respectful where the wedding is concerned, however just this weekend they offered to host the rehearsal dinner (even though they know they won't be attending) as his family is so far away and may not make it into town until the morning of the wedding.   We want to honour them in some way and thought that having her escorted in would be a way to do that.  Other than that they will have no involvement in the ceremony or reception.  I just wanted to give a nod to them and the gracious support they have provided us...  and me especially.

Yes, it does seem like a lot of back and forth for my FI.  We really want him to meet me half way down the isle and have us walk the rest of the way together.  It's both so that I don't trip over my own feet HAHA... as well we think it's a really nice visual.. us starting our lives together hand in hand right from the start.   We're doing pictures before the ceremony so there's no issues with him seeing me beforehand.

Anyway... thanks for the comments ladies.  They give us something to think about

V.

whitelilly1010

I like the idea of having your FI meet you halfway down the isle.  I've thought about it myself and have seen it before.  I like the symbolism.  However, I do think it would be easier for the husbands (fathers) to walk their wives (the mothers) down the isle.  The former in-laws could still walk before his parents, be seated up front, be listed in the program if you want, or do a reading.  If you prefer your FI walk the mothers down then the husbands would walk behind them. 

P.S. I think it's great that they are so supportive and you are so kind as to think of including them somehow.

KelaRenee

Have the husbands walk their wives down as part of the processional.  They are still part of the ceremony, but doesn't require as much  back and forth for your FI.

vexie

It's actually my FI's idea to walk both his mother and former mother-in-law up the isle... something that he feels very passionate about doing our of respect for both of these women.   He's allowed me to plan and make so many of the decisions and just tells me that he loves whatever I come up with so t I dont' want to shoot down an idea he has that is very important to him. 

I guess I just want to make sure that we weren't breaking any ettiquette rules if we choose to be a bit unconventional.  I guess this is the benefit of it being our second wedding... a bit more leaway in how we choose to celebrate our day.

Thanks again for all the comments!

vexie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_processional-question-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:94dcf2d2-be6d-4d7f-9a9d-adb1b9156c77Post:7bd95fe6-d4e3-4a05-b3fa-073d1da37c34">Re: processional question</a>:
[QUOTE]I like the idea of having your FI meet you halfway down the isle.  I've thought about it myself and have seen it before.  I like the symbolism.  However, I do think it would be easier for the husbands (fathers) to walk their wives (the mothers) down the isle.  The former in-laws could still walk before his parents, be seated up front, be listed in the program if you want, or do a reading.  If you prefer your FI walk the mothers down then the husbands would walk behind them.  <strong>P.S. I think it's great that they are so supportive and you are so kind as to think of including them somehow.
</strong>Posted by whitelilly1010[/QUOTE]

Thanks!  It's been quite overwhelming how much they have just embraced and loved me from the get-go.  There would be no reason not to like me, however they sure didn't need to go out of their way to make sure I feel part of their extended family too. How can I not repay their kindness?