Dumb question about bachelor parties

squirrly

FI's friend who is German but has lived here for about 6 or 7 years just emailed me to ask if gifts are customary at bachelor parties in the US, as he didn't want to be the odd one out with a gift/with no gift/with the wrong kind of gift at FI's party in a month or so.  And. . . I think the answer is "generally, no, but cigars/alcohol/lap dances would be the norm, if anything."

So. . . before I send this back to him - am I right?  Or am I missing something completely obvious?  I'm putting him in touch with one of FI's brothers and one of his friends from home, but I have no idea when either of them will respond to the emails.

DISCLAIMER:  I am, other than this question, in no way connected to the planning.  I have no problems with him going, lap dances or no - I trust him.  Yadda, yadda, yadda. 

louisvillebride21

With FI best friends bach party, they all just pitched in for the party bus.

salt78

I think that sounds about right. For H's party, they took him out to dinner and a night of drinks in a party bus, but all he got to remember it by was a terrible hangover. 

luckyme502

I think booze or cigars would be good.  I don't think of BP as a gift giving event. 

ring_pop

Yup, sounds right. My H's friends basically paid his way the entire night. Their present to ME was HIS bucket of puke. Thanks guys.

squirrly

They're going to Montreal (driving from Boston, apparently), so whatever it is has to be portable for sure.  And, I think they're just cabbing once they're there, so no bus.  Just hotel/food. 

Cool - I figured if I sent the email and didn't ask, I'd be missing a time honored tradition of some sort. 

Hope Mr. Salt's hangover was gone well before you all hopped on the plane - those sort of flights SUCK!

katiewhompus

Dh said he didn't get any gifts.

I think a round at the bar or something would cover it.

feffany

I was under the impression that the guys "throw" the party for him, and pay for most of it.

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dumb-question-bachelor-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:95cc6543-2eb9-453f-a84e-3c59af76cd76Post:f96ea663-415d-43d1-9663-cd79afe0addc">Re: Dumb question about bachelor parties</a>:
[QUOTE]Hope Mr. Salt's hangover was gone well before you all hopped on the plane - those sort of flights SUCK!
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes it was, thank god. His party was like a week and a half before we left. </div>

squirrly

feffy, I don't know what they're doing - they didn't tell or ask me, which is fine.  I just know where and when.  It may be a bit regional, too - most of FI's group is in greater Boston.

cukimerrydoll

As far as I know, it's not a "gift" sort of thing, but a "groom doesn't pay for anything" soft of thing.  They treat him for a night out.

jajph1974

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dumb-question-bachelor-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:95cc6543-2eb9-453f-a84e-3c59af76cd76Post:5f9027b5-6278-416f-b4a9-878359c55694">Re: Dumb question about bachelor parties</a>:
[QUOTE]As far as I know, it's not a "gift" sort of thing, but a "groom doesn't pay for anything" soft of thing.  They treat him for a night out.
Posted by cukimerrydoll[/QUOTE]


Exactly this.

However, I have heard of grooms getting gag gifts (like blow-up dolls, etc)

AlexiaANDRobert

Robert's bachelor party was a fishing weekend with my brothers, his BIL, and my Dad.  All I know is that Robert didn't pay for ANYTHING.

And for my bachelorette party, it was a night at the beach and I didn't have to pay for anything.  My "gifts" were little masks, buttons, beads, etc.  It was perfect.

I think the PPs have the right idea.  It's not a gift-giving occasion, but it's great to make sure the bachelor/bachelorette doesn't have to pay for anything.