Sacred Wedding Date

JRockL

My husband and I got married 2 months ago, and today we find out that one of his groomsmen is getting married on our wedding date. I'm upset about this because that means all our plans for a 1 year anniversay are out the window as the boys a best friends and my husband will probably be in the wedding party. I feel personally attacked, why couldnt they use one of the other 364 days of the year?
I cant get too mad because I dont want to ruin my husband's relationship with his friend, but at the same time, it wont be 'our' day anymore. And of course on that day I will have to play second fiddle to another couple, and our anniversary will mean nothing, we wont actually be able to celebrate on the day and we'll never have another first anniversary.
Am I out of line for thinking this is BS? We are going to a wedding tomorrow, and the other couple will be there. I dont want to look at them, let alone have to sit and be nice for hours on end. How do I tell them I'm not cool with them getting married on our anniversary? Why would someone do that to their best friend? Of course, the groomsman, he isnt my biggest fan, he doesnt even talk to me, just my husband, which is another reason I feel this is BS, its like he's doing it just to spite me.
How do I deal?

[Deleted User]

Seriously?

jessjo04

You consider your wedding date sacred? Thats a bit odd. No, a lot odd.

JK10910

How do I deal?

You grow the fuuck up.

ring_pop

If he's your husband's best friend, I highly doubt that they picked the wedding date just to spite you. Perhaps they had other constraints that forced them to choose that day - family availability, work, etc.

Your anniversary date will still be special to YOU. So what does it matter what anyone else is doing on that day?

Perhaps you'll never have another first anniversary again, but you'll still have the rest of your lives together, no? If I were you, I'd congratulate the friends on choosing a great wedding date, and then next year, make your anniversary plans a week or two after the wedding to celebrate having been blissfully married for slightly over a year.

mocha beans

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sacred-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:96a01416-debd-41ab-9d89-82a147ab4cb3Post:2ebf7a1d-553d-436f-b33c-cb366344f2de">Sacred Wedding Date</a>:
[QUOTE]My husband and I got married 2 months ago, and today we find out that one of his groomsmen is getting married on our wedding date. I'm upset about this because that means all our plans for a 1 year anniversay are out the window as the boys a best friends and my husband will probably be in the wedding party. I feel personally attacked, why couldnt they use one of the other 364 days of the year? I cant get too mad because I dont want to ruin my husband's relationship with his friend, but at the same time, it wont be 'our' day anymore. And of course on that day I will have to play second fiddle to another couple, and our anniversary will mean nothing, we wont actually be able to celebrate on the day and we'll never have another first anniversary. Am I out of line for thinking this is BS? We are going to a wedding tomorrow, and the other couple will be there. I dont want to look at them, let alone have to sit and be nice for hours on end. How do I tell them I'm not cool with them getting married on our anniversary? Why would someone do that to their best friend? Of course, the groomsman, he isnt my biggest fan, he doesnt even talk to me, just my husband, which is another reason I feel this is BS, its like he's doing it just to spite me. How do I deal?
Posted by JRockL[/QUOTE]

You get one day, you don't get to monopolize that day for the rest of time.

He won't be spending his anniversary with your husband, so I see no reason to feel threatened.

Besides, maybe I'm weird for this, but I think it would be awesome to have an anniversary in common with a friend.  We can share dinners or trips together, but still understand that each couple wants some free time.

tidetravel

Oh Jesus.  Get over yourself.  I'm sure that he chose that day JUST to spite you.

[Deleted User]

Bless your heart. Jesus was born on December 25th, not September 25th, so you don't have anything to worry about. Your wedding date isn't really sacred. 

Nebb

Tell them EXACTLY what you just said. Explain that its YOUR day, and they are ruining it for you. If they cant understand that, they arent very good friends and you need to make that clear to them.

I cant believe the NERVE of some people!!

You should tell them this ASAP before they book things too, the sooner the better.

kikibaby

We're getting married the same day one of our friends did.  Guess what?  They don't care.  And... we did not even have this in mind when we set our date, so I guarantee you it wasn't done to spite you.  Nobody remembers your wedding/anniversary date but you.

jessjo04

I got married on my aunt's wedding date. Not only that, but she was my photographer! Probably any date I picked would have been someone's anniversary. How about you celebrate your anniversary by going to their wedding? You won't even have to pay for your nice dinner.

jbnbridal1

you joined in July and this is just your 1st post now?

Anywho- yes, you are taking this TOO far, dearie.  Take a chill pill.  Sure, it sucks that your anniversary will be taken up with attending someone else's wedding, but you can celebrate your milestone anytime that weekend!  Be happy for them and let them have 'their day" and don't be a sourpuss about it!!

Nebb

Dont listen to these women, they dont understand what you are going through. Let the other couple know that they are not allowed to do this to you at the wedding tomorrow.

laurenclaire1386

The bride wil probably get knocked up and time it to where she gives birth on your second anniversary. 

RachNRich

You get ONE day. ONLY ONE. There are thousand upon thousand of other people that have got married on your wedding day, have your wedding day as their anniversary, and will be married in the future on the same date as your wedding day---are you going to go out and freak on each of them because they are RUINING ALL FUTURE anniversaries?

Seriously, check yourself before you wreck yourself.

[Deleted User]

I've been a big fan of cutting of pant legs today. Can you get into her closet?

duckie1905

You get one day.  That's it.  You don't get that day for the rest of your life and the lives of everyone else you know.  You have no claim to that little date on the calender except for the one day, month, year you are actually getting married on.  And why would their wedding being on your anniversary ruin it forever?  Are you required to celebrate their anniversary every year for the rest of your life?

"your day" was the day you got married.  Nothing else.

He has every right to get married whenever he chooses even if *gasp* he gets married on your "sacred day."

I think you should grow up.  No wonder he doesn't talk to you.

janedoe1113a

Wow...seriously?

BioGirl21

FYI, your wedding day is not sacred unless you're, you know, God or something. It's just a day, like every other day. What if a relative choose to die on the day of your wedding? Would you refuse to go to the funeral?

wadingmoose

Well, take comfort in the fact that his wedding won't be on a Saturday?

Ya loon.

nda_roxybabe

You "feel personally attacked" ? Really? Why, because someone wants to share their wedding date with you? I don't think you understand the meaning of that term.

Catwoman708

You are over reacting.  You had your wedding day, that's the only wedding date you will ever have control over.

When you set your wedding date, did you poll your WP, close family, and friends to see if it conflicted with their birthdays or anniversaries?  If it had, would you have changed the date? 

Actually, I think attending a wedding with your DH on  your first anniversary could be very romantic.  If he's in the WP, sure he'll be busy during the wedding, for pictures, and a few parts of the reception, but he's going home with you. 

My DH and I sometimes celebrate our anniversary on the closest weekend if we are busy on the day of our anniversary.  It doesn't make it any less special, and is actually kind of nice to spread it out over a more than just one day.

Kati0105

Seriously, check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Haha! 

OP, you are overreacting.  I can't think of a better way to celebrate your own marriage than to celebrate another couple starting their marriage together. 

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sacred-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:96a01416-debd-41ab-9d89-82a147ab4cb3Post:dd1e12b5-911a-498d-b6cd-0f2e5792e805">Re: Sacred Wedding Date</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, take comfort in the fact that his wedding won't be on a Saturday? Ya loon.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

AH hahahaha.... I love Moose.

ricksang

Oh get off your high horse.

lannerjarv

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sacred-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:96a01416-debd-41ab-9d89-82a147ab4cb3Post:2ebf7a1d-553d-436f-b33c-cb366344f2de">Sacred Wedding Date</a>:
[QUOTE]My husband and I got married 2 months ago, and today we find out that one of his groomsmen is getting married on our wedding date. I'm upset about this because that means all our plans for a 1 year anniversay are out the window as the boys a best friends and my husband will probably be in the wedding party. I feel personally attacked, why couldnt they use one of the other 364 days of the year? I cant get too mad because I dont want to ruin my husband's relationship with his friend, but at the same time, it wont be 'our' day anymore. And of course on that day I will have to play second fiddle to another couple, and our anniversary will mean nothing, we wont actually be able to celebrate on the day and we'll never have another first anniversary. Am I out of line for thinking this is BS? We are going to a wedding tomorrow, and the other couple will be there. I dont want to look at them, let alone have to sit and be nice for hours on end. How do I tell them I'm not cool with them getting married on our anniversary? Why would someone do that to their best friend? Of course, the groomsman, he isnt my biggest fan, he doesnt even talk to me, just my husband, which is another reason I feel this is BS, its like he's doing it just to spite me. How do I deal?
Posted by JRockL[/QUOTE]

yes, you are being ridiculous.

ricksang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sacred-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:96a01416-debd-41ab-9d89-82a147ab4cb3Post:2ebf7a1d-553d-436f-b33c-cb366344f2de">Sacred Wedding Date</a>:
[QUOTE]My husband and I got married 2 months ago, and today we find out that one of his groomsmen is getting married on our wedding date. I'm upset about this because that means all our plans for a 1 year anniversay are out the window as the boys a best friends and my husband will probably be in the wedding party. I feel personally attacked, why couldnt they use one of the other 364 days of the year? I cant get too mad because I dont want to ruin my husband's relationship with his friend, but at the same time, it wont be 'our' day anymore. And of course on that day I will have to play second fiddle to another couple, and our anniversary will mean nothing, we wont actually be able to celebrate on the day and we'll never have another first anniversary. Am I out of line for thinking this is BS? We are going to a wedding tomorrow, and the other couple will be there. I dont want to look at them, let alone have to sit and be nice for hours on end. How do I tell them I'm not cool with them getting married on our anniversary? Why would someone do that to their best friend? Of course, the groomsman, he isnt my biggest fan, he doesnt even talk to me, just my husband, which is another reason I feel this is BS, its like he's doing it just to spite me. How do I deal?
Posted by JRockL[/QUOTE]

pinkpinot

I wonder why the groomsman doesn't talk to you? You seem charming.

squirrly

So, since there are 365 days per year, should there only be 365 couples in the country who are allowed to be married?  One per day?  Maybe we should have to indicate that on our application for a marriage liscense, to make sure we don't steal anybody else's day. 

Get over yourself.  It's not your day.  It's your anniversary.  I'm sure throughout the years you'll have other things that conflict with your anniversary.  Children's birthdays, going to school, natural disasters, who knows.  It's not the end of the world, or the end of your marriage.  You get a lovely dinner, an excuse to dress up, drink champagne, and dance together.  Try the glass half full view & you'll probably be a lot happier.

Oh - and just a thought - if you really feel this way, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you have some odd opinions on other subjects.  Most likely, your supreme sense of self-importance has something to do with the fact that the groom-to-be doesn't like you. 

[Deleted User]

Nothing should EVER happen on your wedding day EVER!  There also should be nothing that happened in history on that day, it's a day that belongs only to you guys.  

What's the date btw?  I don't want to have my wedding on that day, I'll have to change, thanks for the warning.  

thesuninherhead

I see the MUD has returned to the E minus P. Either that, or the crazy.