so i am just curious?????

sassyredd2010

is it wrong to register a child somewhere for their birthday? i've been back and forth about it. i kinda think its wrong but the other half of me says its a party and people are usually always asking what to get them because they dont know what they  like....is it wrong or considered rude?

WildRumpus

I've never heard of a birthday registry

FutureMrsDudley55

It sounds a bit ridiculous to me.

AdeleDazeem

I'm sorry, but if I got an invitation to a child's birthday party with registry info on it, then I wouldn't go.

goheels05

I'm curious to see what others say.  I would feel weird about it, but I can't really put my finger on why it's ok for a wedding or for the birth of a baby but not ok for birthdays.

That being said, my family and my DH's family are both big on wishlists.  Every Christmas and every birthday, you get asked for your wishlist.  It's nice; it takes the guess work out, and you always know you'll get some items that you really wanted.  Everyone in my family keeps a wishlist on Amazon or Wishpot, so I can go straight there without even asking and be sure to get something for them that they like.  I know some people might scoff at that, but it works for us, so that's what we do. 

mocha beans

I've never seen a birthday registry, ever.

Night_Sprite

I hope you're close enough with your family to be willing to explain such things.  With child friends they will probably get them a toy.  This is just silly. 

sucrets4

My take:

You can set up a wish list or something, but it's incredibly rude to tell people that you have made one.  So, most likely it won't make much of a difference and people will buy what they want.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-just-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:97bcb786-f734-472e-932b-96aba71b47e3Post:2b3dedeb-8ffd-403c-b9a8-06aa3d05c141">Re: so i am just curious?????</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm curious to see what others say.  I would feel weird about it, but I can't really put my finger on why it's ok for a wedding or for the birth of a baby but not ok for birthdays. That being said, my family and my DH's family are both big on wishlists.  Every Christmas and every birthday, you get asked for your wishlist.  It's nice; it takes the guess work out, and you always know you'll get some items that you really wanted.  Everyone in my family keeps a wishlist on Amazon or Wishpot, so I can go straight there without even asking and be sure to get something for them that they like.  I know some people might scoff at that, but it works for us, so that's what we do. 
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

If it's something that everyone in your family does, then there's nothing to scoff at.  Kinda like the dollar dance...it'd be rude to do it if no one knew what it was.  And presumably, your family already knows so you don't have to tell them.  I think that's the rude part.

goheels05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-just-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:97bcb786-f734-472e-932b-96aba71b47e3Post:283c8440-0a5f-4a36-a366-f4750e7e37cc">Re: so i am just curious?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: so i am just curious????? : If it's something that everyone in your family does, then there's nothing to scoff at.  Kinda like the dollar dance...it'd be rude to do it if no one knew what it was.  And presumably, your family already knows so you don't have to tell them.  I think that's the rude part.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

That makes sense.  Plus, we would never push wishlists on anyone outside the family.  We accept that it's a little out of the ordinary and just kind of keep it to ourselves. 

Mrs.B6302007

I wouldn't do it. I've never heard of it either.

I see the difference between wedding/baby registries and bday registries to do with the regularity of the events.  Birthdays happen every year whereas wedding showers and baby showers are occassional events (well, for the most part ;-)  so birthday registries would be over the top IMO.

Mrs.B6302007

heels- we do family wishlists as well =-)

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-just-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:97bcb786-f734-472e-932b-96aba71b47e3Post:def23020-a143-4a4b-8606-00f66ce845bb">Re: so i am just curious?????</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't do it. I've never heard of it either. I see the difference between wedding/baby registries and bday registries to do with the regularity of the events.  Birthdays happen every year whereas wedding showers and<strong> baby showers are occassional events</strong> (well, for the most part ;-)  so birthday registries would be over the top IMO.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

Since we plan on popping out like 20 kids (a la the Duggars), does that mean I shouldn't register???

AdeleDazeem

These (weddings and baby showers) are also celebrations for ushering in a new time period in lives: getting married and starting a family.  Typically, the couple need to buy a whole new set of things for that new time period.  And there are LOTS of people (again, usually) that want to give a gift to help celebrate this new change for the couple.

Birthdays come every year.  Kids want toys and cake.  The end.

beatlesgirl25

OP, how old is this kid? I'm just thinking of when I was a kid (like 10 or under), pretty much anything a kid brought to my birthday party was awesome. Kids like toys, or clothes or whatever. It's not like registering for a wedding so you can get the same long-lasting china pattern, and not get overloaded with household items you already have or don't need. I just think a birthday registry for a kid would be a bit weird.

Also, I think the same sentiment we use for weddings should hold true for birthdays: people don't have to bring a gift, but you should appreciate whatever they do bring.

Mrs.B6302007

Sookie's Shower Entitlements:

You get one for the first baby girl.

One for the first baby boy.

One for the first set of twins.

One for the first set of triplets.

You are entitled to more showers in you space them out by like 10 years because after that long, people will be willing to give you presents since most likely, you've already passed along your own baby items thinking that you were "done". 

Does that work for ya'?

shannonalise

I agree with most pps. Sounds greedy and rude. There's something about a parent registering for gifts for their child that seems weird to me. I have to say that I probably would not go to a birthday party with a gift registry.

Mrs.B6302007

FWIW, when I receive a kid bday invite, I always ask mom what kid needs/wants. I'd much rather show up with size 4T clothes that mom says kid needs desperately and a small toy that kid will enjoy than some random gift. 

katiepoppy

The idea of teaching a child to identify everything then want, then deal with the disappointment of not getting every single toy just seems odd to me.  Why set them up for the "greedy" side of a registry when they don't have the emotional intelligence to fully understand the situation?

Holiday wish lists are a bit different to me because they are generally done within the family/very close friends, not the entire second grade class.

JessAndTrav

I voted that it was rude. I don't think that it's rude so much as it's just weird. A kid is a kid. The majority of the time people can find a gift that's appropriate for them.

The only registries that I approve of are wedding, baby and if the couple has moved in together but has no plans on getting married anytime in the near future, then a registry for a house-warming type thing. But that's more of a case-by-case basis.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I think it is really hard to teach kids to be grateful for gifts or that "it's the thought that counts" when they have their friends and family just select off a pre-chosen list of gifts. Yeah, my brother and I made Christmas lists when we were a kid and would usually get something awesome we wanted, but my parents and grandparents would throw in things THEY liked and thought we would like, which we never would have thought about.

[Deleted User]

gmafb

goheels05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-just-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:97bcb786-f734-472e-932b-96aba71b47e3Post:64a2c29f-641a-48a8-acb7-9b28bea2444c">Re: so i am just curious?????</a>:
[QUOTE]FWIW, when I receive a kid bday invite, I always ask mom what kid needs/wants. I'd much rather show up with size 4T clothes that mom says kid needs desperately and a small toy that kid will enjoy than some random gift. 
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

I try to ask, too.  I also try to avoid bringing gifts that are obviously from a non-parent--stuff that makes tons of noise, stuff that has many small pieces.  Except when I bring gifts to Wes's annoying cousin's children, who is a bad gift-giver and a whiney beebee in general.  Then I like to entertain a little thing I like to call Karma. 

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-just-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:97bcb786-f734-472e-932b-96aba71b47e3Post:aacf067f-cdcc-4c76-be58-fa309d3d7e0a">Re: so i am just curious?????</a>:
[QUOTE]Sookie's Shower Entitlements: You get one for the first baby girl. One for the first baby boy. One for the first set of twins. One for the first set of triplets. You are entitled to more showers in you space them out by like 10 years because after that long, people will be willing to give you presents since most likely, you've already passed along your own baby items thinking that you were "done".  Does that work for ya'?
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

Sounds good to me!  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

GIMME PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!!

Bubbalub

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-just-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:97bcb786-f734-472e-932b-96aba71b47e3Post:5d1b1e9f-713d-423a-b9f2-dafa5755e3b1">Re: so i am just curious?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: so i am just curious????? : That makes sense.  Plus, we would never push wishlists on anyone outside the family.  We accept that it's a little out of the ordinary and just kind of keep it to ourselves. 
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]
My family has Amazon wishlists. It helps so much around Christmas and birthdays because we don't have to bug anyone by asking what they want. It also means that when friends ask what my sister wants for her birthday I can just tell them to look at her wishlist. It is really common in our social circle (maybe even in our city?).

Bubbalub

Ah, I should add that we are all adults and for any children we either ask the parents what the kiddo wants or needs, or we buy them something and give the parents a gift receipt in case they already have it. I agree completely with PPs who stated that setting a kid up for disappointment (by making them a wishlist/registry) doesn't teach a child humility and gratitude for gifts freely given.

kimheartsscott

My neice was born a few months before Christmas, and when it came to Christmas shopping time, I took a look at the baby shower registry that was still up online.  I ended up not getting anything off of it, and I probably would have thought "oh, that's kinda smart" if her parent's had brought it up when people were looking for gifts.

However, actually setting up a registry for a birthday or Christmas?  That is weird.  I'm not sure if it is necessarily rude, but definitely uncomfortable.

sucrets4

Does anyone else wonder why someone who has only posted on here twice before would come and ask a random nwr question?

brookelynpaisley

Kids aren't setting up a household or setting up a nursery, there's a huge difference. Wedding and baby gifts are generally more out of "need" than want, especially when the bride and groom don't have much of their own. And most couples don't just happen to have a crib and receiving blankets laying around

In my family, it's very normal to ask people what they'd like for their birthday or Christmas. I'm pretty sure little Joey just telling his mom that he wants Transformers toys if anyone asks should suffice.

ThePinkSuperhero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-just-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:97bcb786-f734-472e-932b-96aba71b47e3Post:2af55ead-16b6-4b4c-bcfe-bff13968fd80">Re: so i am just curious?????</a>:
[QUOTE]Kids aren't setting up a household or setting up a nursery, there's a huge difference. Wedding and baby gifts are generally more out of "need" than want, especially when the bride and groom don't have much of their own. And most couples don't just happen to have a crib and receiving blankets laying around In my family, it's very normal to ask people what they'd like for their birthday or Christmas. I'm pretty sure little Joey just telling his mom that he wants Transformers toys if anyone asks should suffice.
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

I completely agree!

SassyBrass

I wouldn't do it. That's what gift receipts are for. When I was a little kid, I remember getting 2 of the same barbie doll, it was awesome- I had twins man!
I agree that it's more just wierd than rude. It's easier to ask the parent(s).
Baby registries make sense since it's pretty likely you don't have a bunch of bottles and diapers just waiting in the attic for use.
Wedding registries make sense since it's a new thing also.
I'm actually not doing a registry for the wedding myself. We've lived together for over a year. All we "need" is a BBQ grill. Everyone can chip in? Nah...
To each his own on that, but the birthday thing is just a little too out of the ordinary.