Wedding Etiquette Forum

OUt of Town Guests


Most of my extended family (Aunts-Uncles-cousins) live out of state.  I want to invite them to my wedding, but honestly there are people I am closer to that I would rather invite.  My cousin had a wedding in the summer and all of my extended family attended (they only had to travel 2-3 hours for his wedding and for my wedding they would have to travel 15 hours).  What should I do?  I know its wrong, but I kind of want to be passive aggressive and have a Friday wedding so it makes it difficult for out of town guests.  I know this sounds horrible, but I just have such a dilemma with this situation. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

P.S. I'm sure I'm making a mountain our of a mole hill, because even if I invite everyone and have a "traditional" Saturday evening wedding I bet only 1/4 of them will attend. 

Re: OUt of Town Guests

  • Invite who you want to invite.  The only exception is if your parents (or his) are paying and then they get some say on the guestlist.

    In my family not inviting at least aunts/uncles and first cousins would've caused more drama than it was worth so they all got invites (some came, some didn't).  So, consider the drama factor before making a decision and especially before being passive aggressive about your wedding.

    Or, you can always restrict it to just aunts and uncles and leave your cousins out.

    I also suggest discussing this with your parents before you make any final decision.  Whether they are paying or not they may be able to provide insight as to how this would go over in the family and if it would even be an issue.

  • If you don't think they would attend anyway then what difference does it make if you have it on a Friday?  Is there a reason you can't invite them and the people you are close to?
    Married 10/2/10
  • Invite who you want (or can afford to host), but don't count on a Friday wedding to deter people from attending.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Invite who you want to invite. If someone wants to be there, they won't let Friday or Sunday deter them. If anything, intentionally inconveniencing your guests by not doing it on a Saturday might backfire--you might end up with the "unwanted" guests going out of their way to attend, and your "A list" guests not attending. I'd just figure out how many people you can invite or want there, and inviting them only.

    Don't be may not work in your favor.
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