Potluck picnic?

lhuneycutt

I am in the process of planning my wedding for the spring and love the idea of having a picnic after the ceremony. In order to stay within the budget, I was playing with the idea of having a potluck dinner. I know that generally if you have an evening wedding with dancing and such that you should serve your guest dinner.  However, my fiance and I would provide the main course and ask the guest to bring a side dish. Is this rude? We do live in a very small town and most of the people attending are family and close friends and I don't think they would mind at all, but I don't want to be rude.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_potluck-picnic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:98f92f18-f2e8-4b5c-8e2d-f878aa56c9e1Post:76de6a86-a949-40e8-9895-c9b8305e201a">Potluck picnic?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am in the process of planning my wedding for the spring and love the idea of having a picnic after the ceremony. In order to stay within the budget, I was playing with the idea of having a potluck dinner. I know that generally if you have an evening wedding with dancing and such that you should serve your guest dinner.  However, my fiance and I would provide the main course and ask the guest to bring a side dish. <strong>Is this rude?</strong> We do live in a very small town and most of the people attending are family and close friends and I don't think they would mind at all, but I don't want to be rude.
Posted by lhuneycutt[/QUOTE]
Yes. Asking wedding guests to have anything to do with feeding themselves is rude. Plus, the logistics would be a nightmare.

opalsky007

Potlucks: fun.
Potluck weddings: not fun.

You really want your guests to cook parts of a meal while they're getting dressed up to come to the wedding? And then you want the food to sit around during the ceremony before dinnertime? Dangerous. Besides, I've heard horror stories of there not being enough food. Save yourself the logistical headache and make sure everyone's fed.

squirrly

Picnic?  Awesome.  Potluck?  Terrible.

You can get picnic stuff catered cheaply.  You and your FI need to cover the full cost of the food.  It's rude and impossible to plan around, and no way to ensure you have enough food or a good variety, and no way to make sure hot stuff stays hot and cold stuff stays cold.

JUST SAY NO TO POTLUCK.

lhuneycutt

Only the side dish..we would include on the reception invitation that in lieu of gits we would like our guest to share thier favorite side dish with us.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_potluck-picnic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:98f92f18-f2e8-4b5c-8e2d-f878aa56c9e1Post:c64ee059-2a56-4c37-9d7f-9bfebd08881a">Re: Potluck picnic?</a>:
[QUOTE]Only the side dish..we would include on the reception invitation that in lieu of gits we would like our guest to share thier favorite side dish with us.
Posted by lhuneycutt[/QUOTE]
Still not a good idea. In order to make sure you didn't end up with only potato salad, would you call each guest and tell them what to bring? Because that would be doubly rude. And mentioning gifts on the invite period is rude. There's just not a good way to do this. Please listen to us. We're telling you what probably none of your guests would say to your face, but behind your back. I'm telling you, as easy as it sounds, it would end up being a giant clusterfuuck.

georgia_bride09

Still rude.

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_potluck-picnic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:98f92f18-f2e8-4b5c-8e2d-f878aa56c9e1Post:c64ee059-2a56-4c37-9d7f-9bfebd08881a">Re: Potluck picnic?</a>:
[QUOTE]Only the side dish..we would include on the reception invitation that in lieu of gits we would like our guest to share thier favorite side dish with us.
Posted by lhuneycutt[/QUOTE]

I ditto, a potluck is rude. Plus, you shouldn't put anything on the invite about gifts.

squirrly

You can't mention gifts onthe invite.  In any capacity. 

Go to Sams/Costco/etc. and get some pasta salad, potato salad, and a veggie tray, along with the sandwiches/fried chicken/whatever you had planned as the main course.  Very cheap, and much safer.  Then you just need to find someone to tend to it, replenish as necessary, etc. 

WildRumpus

No, no, no. PLEASE DONT DO THIS. We're doing an "upscale picnic" of sorts. BBQ, beans, potato salad, and cole slaw for 200 for 1,000. There are plenty of ways to bring in a picnic theme for cheap, without requiring your guests to provide their own meal. Check with different cateres. You could do cute baged/boxed meals with gorumet sandwhiches, chips, veggies, and fruit for very little money. You could even do them yourself. Google "picnic wedding" for ideas.Any caterer worth their salt will be able to work with you and your budget.

Celles

If you're planning a potluck (please don't plan a potluck), then I hope you're wearing a white sundress and carrying wild flowers you picked yourself.  Any unnecessary or extravagant expenditures -- professional photography, a DJ, that three tier wedding cake -- that don't go towards being a proper hostess will only make an awkward situation worse. 

There's no way to pull this off graciously, but there are ways to stick to a budget without exploiting your guests.  Maybe look into a bakery, deli or sandwhich shop?  I know Paradise Bakery will cater boxed lunches for as low as $8.75pp, and -- nicely dressed up -- those could fit a picnic vibe.  You could also look at catering BBQ or something else inexpensive.  Pizza "stations," maybe?  Be creative. There are lots of options.

squirrly

Here's a link to one of the classiest backyard picnic-ish weddings I've seen on the internet.  FABULOUS ideas here.  Use them.  Not your guests.

http://www.younghouselove.com/wedding-album/

FutureMrsTR

Squirrly - that website always makes me totally jealous, haha.

Catwoman708

It's the hosts responsibility to provide food and drink for the guests.  It's called hospitality, to thank the guests for attending your wedding (and bringing you presents). 

To ask guests to help feed your other guests is considered rude for a wedding.  Pot lucks are for organizations, or groups of people who volunteer in advance to all pitch in and help. 

Have the wedding you can afford.  If you can't afford to feed your guests, then do a mid afternoon wedding with cake and light refreshements, and skip the alcohol and extraneous decorations and frills.

lhuneycutt

Thanks for the feedback everyone. You made good points, somethings I hadn't thought about.

smokeybailey

I think you should totally do it.

Then come back and tell us about it.