Guests inviting Guests??

Kylamv

I'm not on here very often, especially since my engagement has been very short and my wedding is in less than 2 weeks. I would still greatly appreciate some advice.

My FI and I wanted to keep our guest list under 100 people, and did just that, until recently... when we discovered that some of our guests have invited friends of theirs. Some of the "surprise guests" are family friends, some are not. Some (two) guests asked beforehand if it was alright, when other's just assumed. I understand that part of why they think it's no big deal is because we have no dinner (evening ceremony), but I still have seating, favors, wine & our sole bartender to consider (all they would provide with our proposed guest list originally, and too late now to add another, I tried). Not to mention, in light of this my FI has now informed me that his sisters will probably bring their own families, as invited, as well as their friends without asking.

Am I over-reacting by being a little angry? Has anyone else come across this scenario? If so, how did you handle it?

I should add that for those guests without SO's, I did include a +1 on their invites, so it's not as though they were attending alone.

Thanks for any advice

Celles

You aren't over-reacting.  I'd be angry, too.

Call the invited guests and politely but firmly inform them that your final numbers are in and you absolutely cannot accommodate any add-ins.  Your invited guests will need to contact any uninvited friends or family members they intended on bringing and take responsibility for the "miscommunication." 

leah2b

I've never understood why people feel it's ok to bring their friends to someone else's wedding.  What the heck?  In any event, no you are not overeacting.  I would call all of those people that think they can just bring aong their friends and tell them politely as possible that they may not do so.

squirrly

Just call and let them know that the extra guests can't come.  But, you've gotta treat them all the same way. 

redheadfsu

what pps said.

You need to call the invited guest and explain that the invite was for X only. Explain that they need to call the extras and tell them it was their mistake and they aren't invited.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'm just afraid some people invited extras and you won't know until they show up.

squirrly

I'm curious - are weddings usually just open house type events in your area/crowd, or are invitations normal?  How were your invitations worded?

Kylamv

Wow guys, thanks so much for the advice   I'm glad I'm not just having a Bridezilla moment, lol.

I will def be calling these guests and letting them know that their friends weren't invited, so they will need to inform them.  I have a feeling a few guests will bring their friends anyway though, as is their style. So I will have to plan how to handle that when it happens. I don't want a bunch of drama, but I feel quite insulted that they seem to feel this is a big party for them to show off to their friends, instead of coming to support us on our big day. (I know that sounded harsh, but for at least 3 of them, it's the honest truth, and I've been through it with them before). 

*EXHALE*  thanks again  

Kylamv

Squirrly - my FI's family are a great bunch, but a few of them in particular can be quite difficult. They're very quick to scold other's for bringing uninvited guests, but drag their friends along when they see fit. It's caused issues before, and is VERY frustrating. They haven't even bothered to send back the RSVP cards I included (stamped) with the invitations.

Our invitations were not name specific, BUT the envelopes were, and included their SO & Childrens names, OR " ____ and Guest".

squirrly

Ok.  I think you just need to let them know it was only ONE guest - not infinite guests.  And only to people who had it on their envelopes.

"I'm really sorry, but we won't be able to accommodate your friends.  I do hope we'll still see you and Jim at the wedding!"

That should do the trick.