Long Distance Venue from Home Town

maymotion

I am looking at venues that are a little farther away. We're thinking almost an in-state desination wedding. The groom's family is totally okay with us chosing a venue that is 1.5-2 hours away or more, saying its our day and to do what we want. However, my family is from even farther away (2-3 hours) and are skeptical about asking family members to drive that far (about 1/4 of attending guests or less). What is the proper etiquite in this situation? Can we have one that far away or is offensive to guests? We also aren't allowing children, and I know that can play a large factor as well. Help?

adktd2boots

Although it is your day, you're having a wedding as a way to celebrate with friends and family.  Otherwise you would just elope and not care about anyone else.  I think you need to take the attitude of "my/our day" and throw it out. 

I wouldn't say this "DW" is offensive to your guests, but you need to realize you wont get as many people to travel that far, especially if their children aren't allowed to attend.  If your venue has hotel/lodging close by, and the reception and ceremony are within a 5-10 minute drive, IMO it is ok.  I wouldn't ask them to drive 2+ hours to get to the ceremony, and then have to turn and drive another 1/2 hr to the reception and another 30 min to their hotel.

MyUserName1

Our venue is about two hours away from where we and some of FI's family live.  At first his parents grumbled a bit, but then they realized how much more we were getting for the money out in the country than right here.  

We're also having a bus drive OOT guests from our area to the venue that day

cindyn9178

I don't really see how the location of the wedding can be considered "offensive" to anybody. If you are paying for it, you can have it wherever you want, whether it is in the same state, two hours away, two states away, etc. Obviously, not everybody will be able to attend/travel, so you'd need to consider that. But I don't think anybody would take offense to something like this. If they want to attend, they will do their best to make it, and if they can't make it, you  need to be prepared to accept that as well.

ElisabethJoanne

Like guests lists and registries, wedding locations can be a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. People will grumble that it's too far, then others will grumble about parking or fanciness or the size of the bathrooms. There's no perfect venue, even if you have unlimited funds, and no one has unlimited funds.

What are your reasons for liking these venues? Can you explain them to those who would have to travel furthest without it being awkward? Some people choose far-away venues to limit guests. That can sting when it gets back to the guests. Others just don't have a lot of options, or really care about the "vibe."

maymotion

Its been approved fine for my parents, the bridal party, and grand parents in the area. My father is more concerned about step-family and his co-workers. Part of the reason we thought of having it a little farther away would be to limit some guests, but we also don't want our family to feel discluded. 

As for venues, we want something rustic, but doesn't look run down. Also my fiance has told me he dislikes barns. Furhtermore, want something unique (golf courses, hotels, and confrence centers are very stuffy for the vintage rustic feel we have going for us).

All locations would have a hotel within 15mi (for a variety of price ranges from motel to $100 for a single) and the ceremony & reception would be at the same place. Both allow for handicap accessible outdoor ceremonies (golf carts to bring guests back and forth and elevators/ramps).

All of the bridal party and our immediate family has agreed that they don't mind driving a little further. Its just extended guests.

ElisabethJoanne

Well, I would make precisely 0 wedding plans to accomodate my parents' co-workers. As for step-family, the issue is will the feel excluded or offended, or just sort of grumble? Either way, how much does it matter to you? Once the issue is offending (or not) any kind of family, it's not an etiquette issue, it's a family issue only you can handle.

toothpastechica

Our wedding is 4 hours away from 90% of our guest list (us included). We have our reasons for doing it (the church my parents got married in, a town by a beach, and was going to be the easiest on my grandma....who since the planning began has passed). We are still expecting most if not all of our 130 guests to come as no one has mentioned it being an issue, but we will definatly not be offended if someone doesnt come because of the distance or money, we understand that we are not everyones priority and are doing what we can to make it easier on those who want to (full meal reception, a wedding late enough in the day that they can come up the day of and not book 2 nights hotel just one, a hotel block, etc)