Wedding Etiquette Forum

Groomsmen attire in a nonmilitary wedding

Hi, My fiancee is not in the military but both of his brother-in-laws are, 1 current, the other retires.  His sisters want their husbands to wear their military uniforms in our church wedding.  At first the idea didn't bother me, but my mother (who is great and hasn't squacked at anything) was upset because they are trying to take away from my fiancees day.  This will probually be the first and only day in his life that eyes are on him and not his sisters.  Doesn't anyone have any thoughts or feelings on this?  THanks

Re: Groomsmen attire in a nonmilitary wedding

  • I don't see how them dressing in their military uniforms takes away from you and fiances day. Trust me, all eyes will be on you guys. Not them.
  • I can definitley see where you are coming from on this as my brother is in the military.  That being said he has not asked to wear his uniform and if he did I would be proud to have someone standing in my WP that is serving our country.  I know it's different with it being your FIs BILs but I truely don't think the focus will be taken off of y'all because they're in their uniform. 
  • That's silly. Why would it take away from your FI? I would be extremely proud if I had family in the military and would want them to wear their uniforms. It's not like they aren't going to know who the groom is.
  • My dad will be wearing dress mess when he walks me down the ailse, or basically the military tuxedo equivalent. We joke that my fiance better rock the hell out of his tux compared to the uniform, but we joke, not seriously think that my dad wearing his dress mess will distract from our wedding ceremony.

    Ask the BIL's what they want to wear. Their wives may want them to wear it because they just lke to see them in their dress uniforms that they may not see very often. If they say they want to wear the uniforms (eve if you think it's at the nudging of their wives) then I fail to see what the big deal is.
  • Darn those military guys stealing your thunder!!

    In all seriousness, they will not take away from your day. All eyes will be on you, I assure you. And I second the poster who said to ask the BILs what they want to wear.  We had a military groomsman and he wanted to wear a suit like everyone else. This issue should be between your fiance (note the difference in spelling - fiancee is a woman) and HIS groomsmen, not you, your mom, or your FSILs.
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  • i can understand where you're coming from, but at the same time i don't think it should be a problem.

    men in uniform do definetly stand out. i know that when i see a guy in a uniform i just love it and it totally distracts me.....especially a marine. omg!!! and yes, a lot of people have the same reaction. i think this is what you're worried about. people will be staring at the uniforms, and not at your husband.

    that being said, just because they are in uniform doesn't take away from the fact that it's YOUR day. even if they are in full dress, people will still be looking at you, not only them. and add to the fact that in reality, a active duty or retired service person is in proper attire at a formal even in their dress whites. no they aren't required to wear them, but it is certainly not out of line either.

    it also should be their choice, not their wive's choice, what they wear. so speak to them about their attire, not their wives.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmen-attire-nonmilitary-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c70d083-1718-4e15-a24a-7da8178dcf87Post:8c40c2be-756a-4bf4-ac19-174689f208c2">Groomsmen attire in a nonmilitary wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi, My fiancee is not in the military but both of his brother-in-laws are, 1 current, the other retires.  His sisters want their husbands to wear their military uniforms in our church wedding.  At first the idea didn't bother me, but my mother (who is great and hasn't squacked at anything) was upset because they are trying to take away from my fiancees day.  This will probually be the first and only day in his life that eyes are on him and not his sisters.  Doesn't anyone have any thoughts or feelings on this?  THanks
    Posted by LMKINSER[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, like said above, maybe the guys won't want to wear their uniforms.  For all you know, the retirees don't fit into theirs anymore!
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  • My FI is military and his WP most likely will be soldiers as well. I am going back and forth on if I want them to wear ClassA's in the wedding because I have matching issues and they don't match anything else. Now with that being said if FI wants to wear it (and I am 95% sure he wont) then he can.

    I would talk to the men and see what they want. I am almost sure they will want to do what you want them to do and if they had an opinion they would not want to wear the dress uniform.

    M
  • Full disclosure: no one in my family or wedding party is in the military. Is your finace/groomsmen in tuxes? The uniforms are distinguished and aren't SO different looking from tuxes or nice suits. They will not distract from your fiance. It is you and your fiance's day. Not theirs. Why not let them wear their very nice, handsome uniforms at your wedding? There is no way people will be looking at them over him. I would be shocked if they didn't want to wear their uniforms.
  • FI is in the army, and has been in weddings in tuxes, and in his dress uniform.  I'm quite certain nobody paid more attention to him than the groom.  We went to one wedding with him in uniform where he was the ONLY one in uniform, and was just a guest.  The groom requested he wear his dress uniform.  He didn't show up the groom there either.

    Most recently, his brother got married, requested a tux instead of a uniform, and scoffed at the idea that FI should be introduced as "Captain" rather than "Mr."  His brother has even been pushing for FI to not use "Captain" at our wedding. 

    Because of FBIL, this has become a hot button issue for me.  Really, it's clothing.  Let them wear what they're individually more comfortable in.  For us, FI is planning to wear his uniform for the ceremony, and a tux for the reception, for the reasons that CS noted above - it's not comfortable, but it IS an important part of him, and something that he's proud of. 

    Think about it this way - if there are guests who don't know your FI, once the ceremony starts the fact that the GMs are in uniforms instead will help him stand out from the pack. 
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  • I second everyone who said that the BUL's may not even want to wear their uniforms. My dad doesn't mind wearing his because the Marines are a huge part of who he is but if I really wanted him to wear a tux he would. Honestly, he's wearing it more so my mom can have an excuse to order him a set of dress mess attire for when they go to the Marine Corps ball every year. And my FI is proud that my dad will  be in his uniform, and would never question it.
  • I would just ask the guys what they want to wear.  I have seem some people around here say that the people they know in the army don't always like to wear their uniforms.  However, if they want to wear them, then I think you should let them.
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