Wedding Etiquette Forum

Unwanted Bridal Shower

Hello ladies,

I had asked my MOH to not throw me a Bridal Shower due to the fact that my mom keeps trying to push more and more people onto the wedding guest list/bridal shower list. FI and I are paying for our wedding by ourselves - we cannot afford the other 25 people she wants there.

My MOH agreed to not throw a Bridal Shower even though she really wanted to give me one.

I find out over the Easter holiday that my aunt has been planning a Bridal Shower for me. This includes the side of the family that is not invited to the wedding, even though my mom told them they were.

I never wanted (even before the drama) a Bridal Shower because I think they are awkward and unnecessary - I never enjoyed going to them and I am dreading sitting in front of people and opening gifts.

Though I appreciate the effort and that my family wants to throw me one, they are not respecting FI and my guest list and I honestly just want to be left alone with all this family stuff before our wedding in September. I am not close with my family and the thought of this Bridal Shower stuff has been more than stressful.

Can I respectfully decline the Bridal Shower my family wants to give me?

Thanks all!

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Re: Unwanted Bridal Shower

  • You can always decline parties offered in your honor.
  • It's hard to do and might feel awkward, but you can ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS decline. 

    My grandmother had several friends who were not going to be invited to the wedding offer to host parties of some sort before the wedding. We had to just say no because it's completely unacceptable to not invite pre-wedding party invitees to the wedding. They will say "oh, it's okay" and "I don't care if I'm not invited" but it really doesn't matter; you must invite them if they are at the pre-wedding party. 
  • Yes. Just be polite about it and explain that while you appreciate the gesture, you're not comfortable/interested in having a bridal shower. I'm sure thehy'll understand.
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