Ceremony/Reception Invitation issues

randeeh

Ok so we planned to have our wedding on my grandparents ranch which is 5 hours from our hometown.  The original plan was to have the ceremony and reception there which allowed an unlimited number of guests to attend.  We've now decided to move the reception in town due to safty issues (guests who had been drinking driving on unfamiliar dirt roads, etc.) but have a 50 person limit for our reception venue.  So we've also planned a reception locally for the week after.

I bought 90 pocketfolds a few weeks ago thinking I'd put all the information in there that I now don't need.

I'd like to make the same invitation for everyone so I can still use my pocket folds and insert ceremony/reception/lodging/map or reception/map as inserts.  I don't want to be rude and have anyone feel like they aren't "A-List" so if I have to make up 2 invitations, that's fine too.  Any suggestions?

rubyredlucy

Wait, I'm confused.  You were going to have your reception 5 hours away but scrapped the first venue and the second venue is still 5 hours away?  And because it's so far and small, you want to have a second reception where you live?

Why can't you just have one reception, either 5 hours away at a larger venue, or locally?

Goldlie11

So, are you inviting some people to the ceremony only and some people to the ceremony and reception?

randeeh

There is only one venue in the location of the ceremony, it's a small town and it only accomodates 50 people.  We're having two because you cant very well invite people to travel 5 hrs for a wedding ceremony and thats it. 

randeeh

Only certain people will be invited to the ceremony and reception 1 at the same location (mainly close family and friends).

Everyone will be invited to reception 2 in our hometown.

rubyredlucy

So the ceremony location is special enough that you need to have two different receptions? 

Be honest; is it a Disney World wedding?

Goldlie11

What happens when the people who were invited to your wedding (ceremony/reception 1) talk to the people who were only invited to the second reception?  Sounds like a recipe for hurt feelings to me.

I

randeeh

Uh no, I said it's my grandparents ranch.  I practically grew up there and it's a special place to me and would mean the world to them if I had it there.  However, I'm not opposed to being married in mouse ears....

Why would people be hurt to not be included in a private ceremony?  I'm not asking if its right or wrong, rather suggestions on how to do it tactfully.  I live in a big LDS community so people are invited to receptions only all the time.  I just cant put temple information on my invite. 

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremonyreception-invitation-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9d434eb0-396b-4deb-8867-a65f052a6405Post:a31a6ee2-824a-4e10-a8a7-356148eb301e">Re: Ceremony/Reception Invitation issues</a>:
[QUOTE]Uh no, I said it's my grandparents ranch.  I practically grew up there and it's a special place to me and would mean the world to them if I had it there.  However, I'm not opposed to being married in mouse ears.... Why would people be hurt to not be included in a private ceremony?  I'm not asking if its right or wrong, rather suggestions on how to do it tactfully.  I live in a big LDS community so people are invited to receptions only all the time.  I just cant put temple information on my invite.  :)
Posted by randeeh[/QUOTE]

A 50 person ceremony is not a private ceremony.  The only way to do this without offending anyone is to have a private ceremony (immediate family ONLY - parents/siblings/grandparents) and then a larger reception.  People would be offended because you are basically telling them that they are good enough to bring gifts, but not good enough to actually witness your marriage.

I also fail to see how having a larger reception at your grandparent's ranch will  solve the drunk driving issue that you site in your OP.  Are you planning on not serving alcohol at that reception?  If so, why not just have a dry reception to begin with.  Or, you could treat your guests like the adults that they are and trust them to not get drunk and drive.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Here's how you get past the liability issue - you buy wedding insurance.

Mrs.B6302007

  In this case,(she being a Mormon)  it's very common and acceptable etiquette to invite people to the reception only because without being a member one can't attend the ceremony at the temple.

Mrs.B6302007

Oh, wait.  You said you ive in a Mormon community.  You didn't actually say you were Mormon.  So unless you are Mormon, ignore my above post.

Mrs.B6302007

Not that it really matters but this whole thread seems familiar.  I remember something about a grandparents ranch from before.  Like  several months ago.

carrieoz_76

Putting aside whether this is a good idea, it sounds like you need two invitations - one for people invited to ceremony and reception location 1 and 2, and another for people invited only to reception location 2.

It all sounds really complicated to me, but it's your bucket of trouble, so have at it.

Kristin789

Only certain people will be invited to the ceremony and reception 1 at the same location (mainly close family and friends).  Everyone will be invited to reception 2 in our hometown.

Uh, no.

I would say you should have the ceremony and reception with your certain people, and that's IT.

No one goes to those gift-collection parties held weeks after the real wedding ceremony and reception.  People have figured out that they weren't good enough to be invited to the real wedding and reception, and now they're being asked to get a great gift and bring it to some fake party thing weeks later.

I had a friend whose daughter did TWO of those "at-home reception" things, one here in FL and one up north, and they were very angry that they paid a lot of money to host those receptions and very very few people came.  But that's the way it is these days.

irshis20

Why don't you just invite everyone to the wedding and reception at grandparents' ranch? The people you're inviting are hopefully adult enough to control their drinking or get a DD. After all, this is really not a unique situation; this is a situation faced by every couple who has their ceremony and wet reception in a place other than a hotel. I take it you are not Mormon since you are having alcohol at the reception.

Five hours is not far away enough to be a destination wedding, which in my opinion is the only (and not even always) reason to have a hometown reception a while after the wedding. Invite your 50 people to the ceremony and reception and be done with it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremonyreception-invitation-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9d434eb0-396b-4deb-8867-a65f052a6405Post:47d9b54b-640e-43ca-8fc9-1ec70b906275">Re: Ceremony/Reception Invitation issues</a>:
[QUOTE]  In this case,(she being a Mormon)  it's very common and acceptable etiquette to invite people to the reception only because without being a member one can't attend the ceremony at the temple.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

If she were actually having the ceremony at the temple, I'd say fine. But just because people are used to not attending ceremonies at the temple, I don't think that makes this 100% okay.

wadingmoose

The ceremony isn't the problem.

Really, have one wedding, one reception and stick to your limit of 50 people.  It sucks, but that's what you're left with.  You made the decisions, now you get to deal with it.