To register or not!?!

tiffaniamiller

My fiance and I are not people just starting out.  We are both in our thirties and have established our home together.  Basicially, that means we've pretty much got everything we need.  On top of that we live in a community were space is tight.  It's not like we can store these grand party accesories in our house, nor do we really want any of those things.  So my question is if we have everything we need what do we register for or do we not register at all?  Is it okay not to register?  I've been looking at the major websites where you register and it just gives me a headache trying to thing of what we might want.  Too bad we can't just register for our Ski Passes.  Please let me know what you think.  I've gotten mixed messages from my friends.  My fiance's sister did not register and they did well.  Thanks!

danieliza1127

You don't have to register.  It's not a requirement or anything, it's just a good way to give your guests some guidance in what you need or want.  If you don't want to register though, don't.  If people ask where you're registered, you can just say "oh well we're pretty established and have everything we need so we didnt' register. Thanks for asking though!" and then they'll decide what to do from there.

You might get a lot of things you don't want though.

pumpkinpumpkin

is Tiffany Miller your name? I'd probably make a new s/n if I were you...

quotequeen

If you go to the registering & gifts board, there is a sticky at the top with ideas of things to register for if you are not interested in the traditional things.  You can also upgrade and replace some of the things you have if you would like better versions of them or they are worn out.  And pretty much everybody can use more towels and sheets.

You don't have to register at all if you don't want to, and a lot of people will give you money if you don't, but there are some people who are uncomfortable giving money and really want to give a physical gift.  If you don't register, you may end up with stuff you really don't want or like.

andyandhillary

For people in your situation I suggest upgrading items like sheets, towels, silverware, knives even dinnerware.  A lot of people buy the "cheap stuff" when they start out but then do not upgrade for years and years if ever.  What about registering for a hobby you have on amazon?  Some people register for camping supplies, for example.

Calypso1977

we were 32 and 35 when we got married.  we already owned a home and had so much stuff that we actually had a yard sale to get rid of our duplicates and triplicates prior to moving in together.  our house is so small that i didnt feel the need to register for gadgets and gizmos that stores say you have to register for.  as it is, we have things like crockpots that we have to keep in teh garage.

we did not register and i dont regret it one bit.  we did nto get inundated with vases and frames.  in fact, i wish we had gotten a few frames!  we got primarily cash and a few very nice gifts that we never would have gotten had we registered.  i also did not have a shower - i recommend foregoing that as well if you dont register. 

ohwhynot

We're not registering, for a variety of reasons.  We don't even need towels and sheets - and have no room to store more, even if we did. 

People keep saying we'll get a bunch of stuff we don't like, but even if that's true, that's our problem, not our guests'.  We can return, regift, and/or make some kickass Goodwill donations if we receive things that we can't use ourselves.  But we'll try to use anything anyone gives to us - we could get "rogue" gifts even if we did register. 

That said, it is annoying some people that we are not registered.  Some of your guests really want that convenience and may feel a little irked that you're not giving that to them.  So, it's a tradeoff, really.  But it's not a requirement.

Femlin

I agree with pp who suggested registering for "upgrades."  We didn't feel as if we needed much, but we did register for some nice sheets and towels.  We have plenty, but we had the same tattered ones that we've had for years.

Most people will see that you're not registered for much and will probably give cash.  You might get a few stray items here and there that aren't on your registry and that you don't want/need but I doubt that will be the majority of your gifts.

Calypso1977

That said, it is annoying some people that we are not registered.  Some of your guests really want that convenience and may feel a little irked that you're not giving that to them. 

folks always say this, but #1, a gift isnt required.  #2, if you want to get me a gift, i'm under no obligation to do the work for you in terms of picking it out, and #3, if its that difficult for you to take the time to find me a gift, then just dont give one.  i just dont see why its the potential recipients responsibility to make gift buying easy for people. 

some couples/individuals are definitely hard to buy for.  but, you dont see registires for birthdays or other gift-giving occasions, and somehow folks figure out what to get.  i'm sure many gifts i've given over the years have been recycled, etc. but at least i gave them knowing that i cared and put some effort into getting somethign i really thought they'd like.  that's the best you can do, from there, its up to tehm what becomes of it.

tiffaniamiller

Thank-you for all your feedback.  I really like what Calypso1977 said about why should we have to do the work to get the gifts.  It made me feel more confident about not really registering.  Plus, I love surprises and it's aways fun to get a gift that you don't really ask for.  Thanks again for the suggestions and support !