Would you make a bridesmaid wear a dress she is uncomfortable with?

AJuliaNJ

I am watching Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids and one of the girls did not want to wear a strapless gown due to religious beliefs. The bride said she could either wear the gown or be a "host" (whatever that means) instead of bridesmaid. 

What would you do?

pokey730

I'd let her wear a dress with sleeves.

miranda holly

I think I saw that one too... where the BM initially said she would back out of WP if she had to wear a strapless dress. 

Understanding her religious beliefs, and possibly her comfort level in that dress and being up front and centre, I would completely support her to wear a shawl, jacket thingy, sleeves.  As long as it's the same colour.  But I also let my BM's pick the style they felt comfortable in, but all the same colour.

I love how the bride's on the show usually think it's completely up to them, and their WP should be "happy" with a dress the bride picks.  No matter the style, price, comfort level! And by love, I mean, horrified!  I just respect my WP way more than that!

soontobehanby

Yeah, I would not.  I was recently asked to wear a strapless dress in a wedding. I HATE strapless dresses.  I am a busty girl.  I don't like to put myself on display.  There were no alternatives.  That was what I was going to have to wear.  When I asked if I could wear something different, the bride ACTUALLY said, "But it's MY day!!"

AJuliaNJ

I don't understand why she didn't let that bridesmaid wear spaghetti straps. It wouldn't alter the look that much. I know she was willing to wear spaghetti straps because the dress she liked had them. I felt so bad for the girl. The whole wedding party was ganging up on her. 

[Deleted User]

One of my BMs is busty and requested straps of some sort. Another is Mormon and wants to wear a bolero. I already figured with it being in November that the girls should have something long and with straps so everything works out. Even if I had a different vision I would want to respect their wishes as well as their budgets.

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-you-make-a-bridesmaid-wear-a-dress-she-is-uncomfortable-with?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ddad7b9-1584-4198-bd27-ee1ad7346e83Post:d3df5552-02df-4f81-8ab6-ccc646b86412">Re: Would you make a bridesmaid wear a dress she is uncomfortable with?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand why she didn't let that bridesmaid wear spaghetti straps. It wouldn't alter the look that much. I know she was willing to wear spaghetti straps because the dress she liked had them. I felt so bad for the girl. The whole wedding party was ganging up on her. 
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

Because clearly the bridezilla cared more about picture perfection and her dream vision of "her day" than her bridesmaid's feelings.  Sad.

BMoreBride6

Most of my girls love strapless dresses.  I personally don't love strapless on myself so I opened it up as to what everyone was comfortable with.  My FI's little sister is a BM and at 14, her parents don't feel comfortable with her in strapless.  So I simply found two identical options, only one is strapless the other in halter (all the rest of the silhouette and detailing is the same).  Makes no difference to me, my girls will all look beautiful, but more importantly,y will feel beautiful and comfortable.  

AddieCake

No, I wouldn't make someone wear a strapless dress if they didn't want to, and I would drop out of a wedding if I were the bridesmaid given the options of wearing it or being a hostess. I would also seriously considering dropping out of the friendship. 

LisaA2014

I watched that episode last night, I think the dress looked better with the straps. I kind of didn't feel it had anything to do with straps or no straps, it was a power struggle that the bride wanted to win. I would have walked out if I was the MOH.

redridinghood16

I would never force my BMs to wear anything they didn't feel comfortable in. They are in my wedding because they are dear to me, and since I respect them and their personal feelings and beliefs, they can wear whatever they feel comfortable in.

I believe they choose people with very strong personalities for these shows because it creates drama and it sucks people in until the drama is resolved.

BostonGIrl4732

Saw the episode and I couldn't get over the bride.  "What would Jesus do?"  "He'd wear the dress"  I don't think you should mess with a person's religion or make a friend super uncomfortable.  They kept saying if she was a real friend she'd wear the dress.  Um, what about the bride being a real friend and making her friends feel comfortable?

thejucheidea

No way. We're letting the women in our wedding party choose their own dresses.

TKzilla

I told my MOH and BMs to pick a dress with three requirements: malibu blue from DB, chiffon, no longer than the knee.

They all chose the same dress (except my jr. bridesmaid, obviously)

It's just not that difficult. THEY are spending the money, THEY are wearing the damn thing for hours, THEY will have it hanging in their closet for awhile. Let them pick something they'll enjoy.

soontobehanby

It's shows like SYTTD that create the crazy brides that are out there!  They hear on the show "It's the bride's day" over and over and they start to believe it that means they can terrorize their friends and family for one PPD.  It absolutely kills me!  I ended a friendship with someone I was very close to over an issue like this.  The dress made me uncomfortable.  There was nothing religious about it, I just felt naked.  When I asked to wear straps or something different, I got called selfish and a bad friend.  Sigh.. I really wanna have a word with these bridal consultants.  They need to stop making monsters!

Jessa617

Never. I am a pretty easy-going bride (or at least I think I am), and I told my girls to wear whatever they are comfortable in sice they are all different shapes, sizes and heights as long as it was black and knee-length. I also chose black because it's an easy color to wear again. Regardless of whether or not it's the "bride's day", she still needs to be mindful of her friends'/sisters' religious beliefs and comfort level.

Viczaesar

No, I wouldn't.  But then I actually wish we would get rid of the tradition of the bride and groom telling their wedding party how to dress altogether.

bandjwedding2012

Some of my bridesmaids got straps but on their dresses. Some loved it being strapless since it was an outdoor, middle of summer wedding. I didn't care what they wore as long as they were there. Heck some wore shoes, someone wore flip flops, one wore heels and one wore socks. Made for great pictures.

reppunzel

I hate that episode!  We've seen it twice and FI just sits back, kinda smiles and lets me go cuz he knows I have to rant. :P

That bride was so incredibly self-centered!  She's standing there sniffling and saying "I can't believe she's putting me through this ... "  Come again?!?  Um, is she the one who said "you can wear strapless or you can be a hostess?"  Um, no, that was you, princess, so you have no one but your entitled self to blame.  I felt so sorry for the bridesmaid!  She got bullied into wearing that dress.  And don't even get me started on the "WWJD" and "do you believe you'd go to hell" parts!!!

I picked color and length (one of my bridesmaids is 5'9" and another is 4'6", so there needed to be a uniform length), and then had my girls try on different styles and wear the one they felt the best in -- they are from David's Bridal, so there was a generous selection and they all found something they really liked.  With one of them, I personally thought one dress flattered her the most, but she was more comfortable with another one (higher neckline) and that was fine with me.  I wanted her  to feel beautiful in my wedding.

loca4pook

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-you-make-a-bridesmaid-wear-a-dress-she-is-uncomfortable-with?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ddad7b9-1584-4198-bd27-ee1ad7346e83Post:4acf3933-a539-4ae2-81e2-49cbb96d922f">Would you make a bridesmaid wear a dress she is uncomfortable with?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am watching Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids and one of the girls did not want to wear a strapless gown due to religious beliefs. The bride said she could either wear the gown or be a "host" (whatever that means) instead of bridesmaid.  What would you do?
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

Oh, I saw that episode and it made me mad..IF it was truly for religious reasons, I would never force it. That bride was selfish........