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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Name tags?

My family is small. In invites my family is going to be five or so people and problably only five will attend. My FI's side of the family and friends will take up the other 95 guests. My family doesn't know them well. My mom has met some of his family at the reunion. She is horrible with anything social. She has anxiety attacks in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people, it gets worse the larger the crowd is. I am trying to think of how to make my mom comfortable. She is an extremely inportant person to me, she is even walking me down the aisle.

I thought name tags, the kind that would day soemthing like Ann Smith, Mother of the Bride, then she would be able to transition a little easier. It also gives my Fi's family a chance to talk to her in a way that will make her more comfortable. The problem is my FI says people might consider it rude.

Yes, about 80 of them are his family that they see each other at least once a year, but they don't know their names either! They hardly know how they are related to the family. All of it is irrelevant to them because the love is there. But as an outsider that had to work their way through their family, I know how important names and relations were to relate and learn about them.

Are nametags rude? Is there a way to make it easier for my side to blend with his?

Re: Name tags?

  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited April 2012
    I definitely don't think nametags are appropriate for a wedding. And I wouldn't want to put a sticker or pin on a nice dress I would wear as a guest to a wedding.

    Learning names of large families is hard, for sure, but it's pretty typical for a wedding to have some people there you don't know or don't know very well.

    Also, assuming your mom is walking you down the aisle and ostensibly wearing a corsage -- everyone will know she is the MOB without a tag stating that.

    edit: I totally get that you want your mom to be comfortable, but I'm not really seeing how this will help her.
    Lizzie
  • I don't know if it's RUDE, but it seems weird.  This is a wedding, not a business convention.

    Maybe his mother could help her out?  Maybe she'd be willing to introduce your mother to people and fill her in on how they're related.
  • While I don't think I would consider it rude, I know I HATE wearing name tags.  People tend to dress up for weddings, and I hate putting adhesive on my regular clothing let alone something I would wear to a wedding.  I'm not sure how to help make it easier for your two sides to blend, but I do not think that nametags are the way to go.
  • Don't do nametags.

    His family is going to see her walking you down the aisle, yes?  They'll most likely figure out it's your mother.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited April 2012
    I say  no to the name tags.     Since she is walking you down the aisle people are going to know who she is.   

    Would having name tags really help someone with social anxiety?  I think it would be cause me stress than help.  But I really don't know.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Try letting your mom get to know a few of FI's key family members (say his mom and dad, grandmom, and favorite aunt/cousin/sibling/whatever) before the wedding in a less-formal setting, by having them over to your house for lunch or something.  That way, your mom will know some of FI's family before she gets to the wedding, and they'll be able to kind of look out for her and see that she's introduced properly to the rest of the family.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_name-tags?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e285adb-6bfc-41e9-8188-fed2ef387b83Post:5b053e21-0bd3-45a6-b4b0-06e1f117dcd3">Name tags?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My family is small. In invites my family is going to be five or so people and problably only five will attend. My FI's side of the family and friends will take up the other 95 guests. My family doesn't know them well. My mom has met some of his family at the reunion. She is horrible with anything social. She has anxiety attacks in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people, it gets worse the larger the crowd is. I am trying to think of how to make my mom comfortable. She is an extremely inportant person to me, she is even walking me down the aisle. I thought name tags, the kind that would day soemthing like Ann Smith, Mother of the Bride, then she would be able to transition a little easier. It also gives my Fi's family a chance to talk to her in a way that will make her more comfortable. The problem is my FI says people might consider it rude. Yes, about 80 of them are his family that they see each other at least once a year, but they don't know their names either! They hardly know how they are related to the family. All of it is irrelevant to them because the love is there. But as an outsider that had to work their way through their family, I know how important names and relations were to relate and learn about them. <strong>Are nametags rude? Is there a way to make it easier for my side to blend with his?</strong>
    Posted by purplecaprii[/QUOTE]

    They aren't rude, but they aren't wedding appropriate.
    I would use your bridal shower, RD and any other pre wedding events as opportunities to have the two families mingle.
    On the wedding day, people will be able to figure out who the MOB and MOG, etc are.
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  • Ya, nametags aren't cool. I like the idea of having the MOG introduce your mom to your FIs side of the family.
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  • Is there going to be a rehearsal?  That would be a good time for the MOG to introduce your family to the key players.  I also like Steph's idea of getting together for lunch sometime prior to the wedding festivities.  I really don't think name tags are appropriate for weddings.  
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  • I like Steph's idea of having her meet a few key people before the wedding.  It's not like his whole family is going to expect her to know who they are (or even talk to her, for that matter).  I'd expect they'll introduce themselves naturally if they start a conversation "Oh hi!  I'm Bill, MOG's brother.  You must be MOB!"

    It will be fine.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_name-tags?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e285adb-6bfc-41e9-8188-fed2ef387b83Post:3d5e9e90-93b5-49d2-bafc-61fdaf3d88e0">Re: Name tags?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong><font color="#0000ff">I don't know if it's RUDE, but it seems weird.</font></strong>  This is a wedding, not a business convention. Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

    Agreed.  Also, there is nothing you can do to force people to "blend."  Friendly people will break the ice and socialize on their own.  Shy and/or rude people won't. 
  • Alright. Back to the drawing board.

    I was already thinking of having a dinner to introduce my family closer to his. His parents love to entertain and want to host a dinner for my family. I am unsure about the MOG. She is naturally cool, aloof and protected. She doesn't really let people in. Maybe the FOG. He is a little bit of a chavanist and my mom is a feminist but maybe.... I think I might have to throw a dinner or take them out as just a parents of the couple meal and then have the intro dinners for all family.

    Thank you everyone. This is going to take a lot more thought I think.
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