second wedding

KatyRoseM

Ok, this is a dreaded second wedding question.

So my friend was converting to Jewdeism before her wedding, and a month before it the Rabbi determined he would not complete it with her.  She therefore could not have a Jewish wedding (not being Jewish yet).  She decided not to cancel because of the deposits and guests having hotel rooms already.

Well now she is completing her conversion with a new Rabbi, and would like to be married according to the Jewish faith.  She does not consider it to be a vow renewal, because this is what will make her married in the eyes of her religion.  She will be inviting people, but doesn't want gifts, because they already gave things are her wedding.  Clearly she should state the last part by word of mouth, but what would you call this ceremony?  

 

SarahPLiz

A blessing?

mica178

In Catholicism, when this happens (religious ceremony after the civil ceremony), it's called a convalidation.  I'm sure there's a correct term within Judaism, but she'd have to talk with the rabbi or someone else better versed in the religion.

Usually convalidations are lower key celebrations.  Guests can bring gifts but are not obligated to, but there should be no mention of gifts on the invitations.

Beachy730

Jewdeism, really?

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-wedding-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ff3edf4-08fa-4879-9373-5af9cad72f1aPost:b78f4484-26a0-420e-a323-85ee4227d56f">Re: second wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Jewdeism, really?
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
ha.  snort.  ha.

KatyRoseM

Sorry

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-wedding-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ff3edf4-08fa-4879-9373-5af9cad72f1aPost:1cc29d8a-d5c9-49b0-9b59-53d117047b5b">Re: second wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry
Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]
You sounded it out - don't feel that bad.  I'm converting and I have problems spelling it.  It's a weird word.

kellyjellybelly

Just ignore Beachy, she just like to tell everyone when they are wrong.

KatyRoseM

Thanks, I know my spelling is horrible, I try to get it right but sometimes I'm still wrong.  Sorry again. 

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-wedding-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ff3edf4-08fa-4879-9373-5af9cad72f1aPost:2d3d25cb-ecdf-4904-bfa8-1a7d93be44c8">Re: second wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Just ignore Beachy, she just like to tell everyone when they are wrong.
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]

<div>You're such a hoar.</div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Lol, guys, it's funnier because KatyRose is Jewish.

How many people is she inviting? Like everyone who came to her first wedding? I don't think I'd go that route. I mean, I get wanting to share the importance of your faith with people, but maybe just with immediate family and others who are important at her synagogue?

KatyRoseM

She wants to invite her close friends and family.  I'm not sure how many that would be. 

tenofcups4me

You'll probably get more responses on the Jewish board. Off the top of my head, since it's not many people and presumably they all know the situation, I might do something like this (this is a first effort with 2 minutes of thinking so not committed to this -- just a starting point!): 

Please join us as we
meet under the chuppah and
formalize our marriage according to the
laws of Moses and Israel

date
time
place
etc.

name of bride and groom at bottom

I know invitations are usually issued in third person, but for some reason that strikes me as oddly formal for this situation. Also, is there any celebration afterwards that would need to be mentioned?

If it's really a small group, the might just want to invite people verbally, which I think would be perfectly acceptable. Or maybe their rabbi would have additional wording suggestions.

I added in the part about the laws of Moses and Israel since I think that's a standard part of any Jewish ceremony. If she uses this phrasing or something like what I wrote, she doesn't need to actually call it anything, just describe it. Not sure I love the word "formalize," but I can't think what else you would call it. Again, just a starting point...

KatyRoseM

Thank you, I think that wording would work very well.  They would have a party after, as a thank you to those who can come, but I don't think that would change the wording much.  I'll pass it on to her and I think that will work really well.