S/O Black Tie attire, again.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In which Miss Manners schools some dude who thinks hicks get a free pass at black tie events and don't need to wear a tux:

http://www.buffalonews.com/opinion/columns/missmanners/story/907248.html

CN: Letter writer thinks black tie attire varies by region and is VERY upset when his cousin's wife corrects him. Claims that he will NOT be wearing a tux if invited to a black tie event because spending that much money is ridiculous.

My stance: I sure won't be inviting him to any black tie events!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In which Miss Manners schools some dude who thinks hicks get a free pass at black tie events and don't need to wear a tux:

http://www.buffalonews.com/opinion/columns/missmanners/story/907248.html

CN: Letter writer thinks black tie attire varies by region and is VERY upset when his cousin's wife corrects him. Claims that he will NOT be wearing a tux if invited to a black tie event because spending that much money is ridiculous.

My stance: I sure won't be inviting him to any black tie events!

betrothed123

The guy ADMITTED he was wrong and yet still he can't drop it.  Moron.

lyndausvi

It's just like cash bars.  Even if it is acceptable in your social circle, it does not mean it's right.


on another note.  Very few circles are truly black-tie people.  I do not get why someone would have a black-tie wedding when their social group is not really like that.

laurenclaire1386

I've never been invited to or thrown anything black tie. Like Lynda said, my group just isn't a black tie group. If the dude doesn't want to rent a tux, it gets really simple after that: don't effing go. If you can't ack right and dress right, stay at home.

goheels05

I responded.  I'm feeling feisty today. 

pumpkinpumpkin

Mark my words: unless work-related, I will never host a black-tie event.

ring_pop

I love that he thought Miss Manners would be the most appropriate person to turn to, to validate his whacked non-logic.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_black-tie-attire-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a04ffbfb-e3eb-4bf2-9e58-b47e536cfaf1Post:27f03592-cc7a-4afb-95d1-2fa13b0167cf">Re: S/O Black Tie attire, again.</a>:
[QUOTE]It's just like cash bars.  Even if it is acceptable in your social circle, it does not mean it's right. on another note.  Very few circles are truly black-tie people.  I do not get why someone would have a black-tie wedding when their social group is not really like that.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

I get the feeling this whole thing stems from the fact that he wore a suit to his cousin's black tie wedding.

I can sort of see the cousin's wife traveling in a circle where black tie is common and therefore wanting a black tie wedding. But that appears to mean she didn't take her husband's family's comfort into consideration when she planned it. Unless the letter writer is just the black sheep of the family.

And I don't really plan or attend black tie events either!

lyndausvi

I would attend a black-tie  affair.  They are not too common down here, but if invited it would not be a problem for us . Well DH would bitch, but he bitches about wearing a suit (he actually did not even wear one for our wedding).  But In the end he would show up in the appropriate outfit.

That said, I really can not see anyone in our world who would have a black-tie wedding.  A black-tie optional wedding, yes.  Full blown black-tie.  Nope.

squirrly

I would really like to attend black-tie events.  Not all the time, but occasionally.  FI looks good in his dress uniform or a tux and would prefer that to a suit any day.  Especially since he doesn't own a suit.

However, not many people in our circles have those sort of events.

ExpatPumpkin

Poor guy...  Just clueless...

I agree that people shouldn't throw black tie weddings just for pomp and circumstance.  It's silly to make your friends and family rent tuxes, IMO.  Just have a formal wedding...  

Most of the weddings in our circle are black tie.  So my DH owns a tux.  All of the men do.  The only time he would have to rent would be for a white tie wedding, and those are pretty rare...

For our wedding, we chose formal attire (not black tie) because we had a daytime ceremony...  And because it was a DW.  And because we wanted a "laid back" formal event, if that makes sense

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I think you succeeded in your goal of "laid-back" formal, Expat! (Oh, and I don't personally know anyone who has had a white tie wedding, nor any men who own white tie attire.)

My high school boyfriend actually owned a tux and lamented the fact he didn't get to wear it much.

My dad is also most comfortable in jeans and t-shirts or polo shirts, drinking a Labatt's, but he certainly knows what formal attire entails! He'll most likely wear a suit to my wedding (he owns several for work meetings) and he actually wore a tuxedo to his own wedding. Geez, it's just for a few hours!

MyNameIsNot

That guy is a giant 5 year old.  Either wear the tux or don't go.  Grow up.

I wish more people read Ms. Manners. 

ExpatPumpkin

Thanks, msmerymac!  We tried  And even if we had had an evening ceremony, we still would have picked formal attire rather than black tie...  It's the Colorado mountains - subtle, understated, mountain elegance is the norm - and black tie would have just looked silly  

I think a good rule of thumb is to ask yourself, "Will the majority of my guests have to RENT clothing to attend?"  If so, you're having the wrong type of wedding for your crowd.  It's not rocket science