Bridal Shower Etiquette

eeyring

Who should you invite to your bridal shower? Is it proper to invite out-of-town aunts/cousins who you know would not come anyways. Or is it ok to not invite them, but still invite them to the wedding?

september's bride

I didn't invite my out-of-town relatives to the shower, but did invite them to the wedding. The shower is usually understood to be a smaller, more intimate gathering anyway, and I don't think the OOT guests really expect an invite.

laurenclaire1386

Just make sure anyone invited to the shower is also invited to the wedding. Showers usually have fairly small guest lists. And also, I've never heard of a person who truly enjoys a shower, so I would only invite the people that you're close to.

SaraAndrew2010

Everyone invited to the shower (or any pre-wedding party) must be invited to the wedding.  However, not every female wedding guests needs to be invited to the shower, only your closest friends and family.

In terms of inviting out of town guests. I would send an invite if there is a chance they might come.  However, if you think there is no chance that a cousin you rarely talk to is going to fly across the country for your shower, I would not send an invite.  I would think it was gift grabby if I got an invite to a far-away shower (unless the bride was immediate family or my best friend).

Also, before you draw up your guest list, be sure to ask whoever is hosting your shower how many guests they can host. 

CCBelle

I agree with Sara on all counts.  I only had close friends/family at my shower, and no one had to drive more than an hour or so. 

TheSaltyPeanut

ditto pps

Although my mom and aunts invited some great aunts in Michigan (over 8 hours away) and about 5 came!  They used the shower as an excuse for a sister's weekend.  It was great

Moneypenny424

We just had my local friends and some of Mr. Penny's OOT aunts (who we knew wanted to come and welcomed a road trip together).  Small guest list and didn't invite from OOT unless they were a very close friend (and even then, it certainly wasn't expected that they'd come).

tlv204

We did invite some out of town aunts/cousins, but my mom called them right after invitations were sent out to chat with them and casually mentioned that it was fine if they couldn't/didn't want to travel for the shower and that we just thought they might like to be involved. None of them came, and they didn't say anything to me about feeling pressured to give a shower gift, but I guess it's certainly possible they said something behind my back

luckyme502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-etiquette-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a0584763-2662-444a-baab-2ce90b38289bPost:f0515007-1293-4878-b37e-2309b5f7fc3f">Re: Bridal Shower Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Just make sure anyone invited to the shower is also invited to the wedding. Showers usually have fairly small guest lists. And also, I've never heard of a person who truly enjoys a shower, so I would only invite the people that you're close to.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]


I truly enjoy showers!  I think it's a great way to spend time with friends and you actually get to spend time with the bride.  Plus, I always enjoy free cake and booze.  Some showers don't have booze, that's okay, but I have yet to be at a shower without cake.  I also love baby showers!  Again, they serve cake!