Registry!

futuremrsmagnan

Okay... so FI and I got registry happy when we first got engaged and had a registry has Macys, Crate and Barrel, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond... well... we got rid of all of them! See, we want people to get the hint that we really rather have $$$. So when people ask, "Where are you registered?", we'll just say nowhere and hope everyone gets the hint that we have everything we need and that we would prefer $$$. I know this isn't proper etiquette, but we honestly don't want to deal with going back and forth and returning a bunch of stuff. We especially don't want store credit! The thing is, we are moving next summer, have lived together for almost 4 years, and we don't need more things. Honestly. I know I know... we should just sign up for honeyfund or something along those lines, but I don't want to have a registry of any sort! Do you think people will get the hint that we want $$$. Especially if our immediate fams tell people so when they ask. I am just nervous about people asking for a registry, we say none, and they give us a dirty look or something. Honest opinions, PLEASE!!!

Also, I know having one registry is good for the people who INSIST on getting us a gift, but I have a feeling if I get a registry somewhere then EVERYONE will just get us gift cards and random gifts from that place! Ugh... what to do? What to do? 

damaless

I don't think it's improper etiquette to opt out of having a registry (as long as you aren't blatantly telling people to give you money instead).  Just keep in mind that in case people do want to give you material gifts instead of monetary, you may run into the situation where you are getting a bunch of things you really don't like or duplicates of a lot of things so you may end up having to return a bunch of stuff anyway.

andy71781

Umm don't register for a honeyfund or anything like that.  Be prepared for a couple of old fashioned people to give you precious things for your new homes (aka gaudy glass bowls or homemade ovenmitts)

futuremrsmagnan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a0d7e116-e08b-46e3-8d9e-2bc6afdb0dd1Post:a1e570b6-aa69-4a8d-99ca-ff35cfe80397">Re: Registry!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think it's improper etiquette to opt out of having a registry (as long as you aren't blatantly telling people to give you money instead).  Just keep in mind that in case people do want to give you material gifts instead of monetary, you may run into the situation where you are getting a bunch of things you really don't like or duplicates of a lot of things so you may end up having to return a bunch of stuff anyway.
Posted by damaless[/QUOTE]

<div>True true. But, it seems like it would be a lot less returning than if I had a long registry. And it's true, I won't be blatantly asking for money... just hoping our families can tell people what we want is money. :-) Thanks for the feedback! </div>

ootmother2

Just how many Waterford or Tiffany vases/bowls do you want?  Because that's what you will get if you have no registry at all.

Register for upgrades of things you may already have.  Everyone could use egyptian cotton sheets or high quality towels.

Your family can spread the word, if asked, that you would really prefer cash

futuremrsmagnan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a0d7e116-e08b-46e3-8d9e-2bc6afdb0dd1Post:cf205703-6787-483e-adbc-696d65c3dc24">Re: Registry!</a>:
[QUOTE]Umm don't register for a honeyfund or anything like that.  Be prepared for a couple of old fashioned people to give you precious things for your new homes (aka gaudy glass bowls or homemade ovenmitts)
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Haha... I don't think there is a way to avoid the gaudy glass bowls and oven mitts... even if I DID have a registry! :-)

</div>

nda_roxybabe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a0d7e116-e08b-46e3-8d9e-2bc6afdb0dd1Post:6526977a-5a08-413a-aac0-1b45caa56e85">Registry!</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay... so FI and I got registry happy when we first got engaged and had a registry has Macys, Crate and Barrel, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond... well... we got rid of all of them! See, we want people to get the hint that we really rather have $$$. So when people ask, "Where are you registered?", we'll just say nowhere and hope everyone gets the hint that we have everything we need and that we would prefer $$$. I know this isn't proper etiquette, but we honestly don't want to deal with going back and forth and returning a bunch of stuff. We especially don't want store credit! The thing is, we are moving next summer, have lived together for almost 4 years, and we don't need more things. Honestly. I know I know... we should just sign up for honeyfund or something along those lines, but I don't want to have a registry of any sort! Do you think people will get the hint that we want $$$. Especially if our immediate fams tell people so when they ask. I am just nervous about people asking for a registry, we say none, and they give us a dirty look or something. Honest opinions, PLEASE!!! Also, I know having one registry is good for the people who INSIST on getting us a gift, but I have a feeling if I get a registry somewhere then EVERYONE will just get us gift cards and random gifts from that place! Ugh... what to do? What to do? 
Posted by futuremrsmagnan[/QUOTE]
Um, is there a question?
I'm getting a strong impression that you dont actually want our opinions since you staed several times you know what you're doing goes against etiquette...

shellydiane820

Just register for some basics.  That way you don't get 20 engraved frames.

Trust me, I worked at Things Remembered.

I will never forget a couple who didn't register.  They got about 10 frames/clocks from us.  Two of the people mentioned they didn't register for anything.  They also got multiples, but I hated my job so much I didn't tell them this couple already received this clock or frame.  

ootmother2

roxy, I love the shirt you're wearing in your new photo!

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a0d7e116-e08b-46e3-8d9e-2bc6afdb0dd1Post:a34b8442-fb23-4a17-8586-a9d59a50e88d">Re: Registry!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Registry! : Um, is there a question? I'm getting a strong impression that you dont actually want our opinions since you staed several times you know what you're doing goes against etiquette...
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Its not really against etiquette.  I think registries are sort of a convenience for guests. I hate when everyone has purchased things from registries. I never know what to get.  </div>

nda_roxybabe

Thanks oot! Target.

Shelly- you're right, and I have no problem with people not registering, I guess my point was just that op sounds like her mind is made up so what exactly is she asking?

futuremrsmagnan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a0d7e116-e08b-46e3-8d9e-2bc6afdb0dd1Post:a34b8442-fb23-4a17-8586-a9d59a50e88d">Re: Registry!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Registry! : Um, is there a question? I'm getting a strong impression that you dont actually want our opinions since you staed several times you know what you're doing goes against etiquette...
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

<div>I suppose my question is -- should I just go ahead and get a registry and/or what is your opinion of this situation? I just wanted to get other brides opinions and to see if anyone else doesn't have a registry or if anyone has experience from not having a registry. :-)</div>

nda_roxybabe

Well, I agree with pp's then. Do a small registry with somethings to hopefully avoid the ugly junk gifts. If you don't want to though, then dont I guess. I wouldn't give someone a dirty look for not registering, it wouldnt bug me. Then again, I'd probably pick them something as I feel like giving cash is boooring.

Goldlie11

My mom got married a few years ago.  She didn't register for anything.  She only got money.  She also didn't have a shower.  I don't think that registries are necessary.  However, they are especially convenient for your guests if you will have a shower.  

futuremrsmagnan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a0d7e116-e08b-46e3-8d9e-2bc6afdb0dd1Post:50ac0146-9a02-43df-876a-c3ffbb1fc551">Re: Registry!</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom got married a few years ago.  She didn't register for anything.  She only got money.  She also didn't have a shower.  I don't think that registries are necessary.  However, they are especially convenient for your guests if you will have a shower.  
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks for your input! That's what I want to hear!!! :-) 

</div>

carrieoz_76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a0d7e116-e08b-46e3-8d9e-2bc6afdb0dd1Post:a27dc189-3ae7-45bc-a218-19d8df2358c3">Re: Registry!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry! : I suppose my question is -- should I just go ahead and get a registry and/or what is your opinion of this situation?
Posted by futuremrsmagnan[/QUOTE]
It sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too.  Have no registry in hopes you get $$, but also avoid the random prezzies.  Well, the one is the consequence of the other.  Either you have a registry and get things off it that you've selected, or you have none and maybe get money and maybe get random crap.  <div>
</div><div>You choose, and accept the consequences of your choice.</div>

quotequeen

Your family really shouldn't be telling people that you want cash either, and there is certainly no polite way to tell people that it's the only thing you want.  People who ask should always be made to feel that they have options in what to give you as a gift, all of which you will accept happily and graciously.  Some people just don't want to/aren't comfortable giving you cash.  (And no, registering for your honeymoon doesn't make it better.)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

If you don't care about guests going out on their own and buying you gifts, don't register. Personally, I don't care WHAT my friends and family buy, or if they buy anything, so originally I didn't want to register. Fi convinced me to do not one, but two registries anyway. I'm sort of glad I did. But if you don't, fine. But don't complain about what you get.

You DO need to come up with a good line, though. I'm 2 months out from my wedding and have gotten several questions like, "So, are you guys registered anywhere?" I'm sure the questions will increase after I send out my invitations. If you say "no" and someone asks, "well, what do you need?" You can't just say, "Money! Cold hard cash, please." You need to somehow explain to people, "well, we're moving next year, so we really don't need a  lot of extra housewares at this time, which is why we didn't register. We're not sure what we'll need, yet." Hopefully they'll take the hint and get your 1) money to put towards "moving" or 2) a GC.

polichik

We have three registries (Anthropologie, C&B, BB&B), but I know that several of our close relatives are planning on giving us cash because they know that A) we're 23 and 26 without a ton of savings, I just graduted a very expensive graduate program and my loans kick in 12/11, and C) we're moving to San Francisco two weeks before the wedding.

If people know these things about you, they'll put two and two together. Chances are, your guests understand these things. Register, but if somebody asks you if you'd prefer cash (as my uncle asked me), say something about how the only gift you want is for them to come to your wedding, but if they felt as thought they wanted to give something, things are a little tight financially at the moment.