OK so here is the deal! It is my general impression that favors have really just become big in the last 10 yrs. My mom and the FMIL are were both 30+ moms and I am a young (22) bride...the future in law's are not originally from the US so they do not do favors. My mom has never even heard of favors since i am the youngest person in my family by about 14 years + ...seriously the last family wedding I went to I was the flower girl in!
So here is my main point. They are paying almost 100% of the wedding and they do not want them because they think they are totally unnecessary...and frankly so do I but I have received a favor at literally ALL of my friends weddings and I know my family wont be offended if we didn't do it I think my friends would be offended if we didn't. I know that if I had them most family members would just leave them behind. I know I cant just put favors on the "friends" tables and not on the "family" tables... I am at such a cross road here because I know if I want them and the parents don't agree I have to pay for it ( like my photo booth) and that's another expense x 200! HELP...Opinions please!
Re: Help end an argument for me!
If its not in your budget, you do not need to have them unless you really want them. And, if you do have them, I am of the mindset that edible is best.
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[QUOTE]OK so here is the deal! It is my general impression that favors have really just become big in the last 10 yrs. My mom and the FMIL are were both 30+ moms and I am a young (22) bride...the future in law's are not originally from the US so they do not do favors. My mom has never even heard of favors since i am the youngest person in my family by about 14 years + ...seriously the last family wedding I went to I was the flower girl in! So here is my main point. They are paying almost 100% of the wedding and they do not want them because they think they are totally unnecessary...and frankly so do I but I have received a favor at literally ALL of my friends weddings and I know my family wont be offended if we didn't do it I think my friends would be offended if we didn't. I know that if I had them most family members would just leave them behind. I know I cant just put favors on the "friends" tables and not on the "family" tables... I am at such a cross road here because <strong>I know if I want them and the parents don't agree I have to pay for it ( like my photo booth)</strong> and that's another expense x 200! HELP...Opinions please!
Posted by kcshield[/QUOTE]
Really I think you should be willing to pay for anything involved in your wedding. Small candies would be a cheap way to settle this one.
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I'm all about edible favors. If it's something that won't do me much good (ie, a koozie w/ your face on it, I'm not interested.
How stongly do you feel about this?
"Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
If you had asked whether I thought they were remotely necessary, or would be offended if they weren't there, the answer is no.
Our place card holders are large candy bars wrapped in silver (one of our wedding colors). But the guests are also receiving an engraved pen at their seat.
While we are having favors, I don't think they're absolutely necessary.
They were less than 50 cents per person and tasted great. Directions here:
http://squirrlyplanning.weebly.com/favors.html
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
Favors are not necessary; your parents are correct. However, if they are important to you pay for them yourself.
However..... I want a photobooth so that will be our favor. If you're having a photobooth I think that is favor enough.
[QUOTE]We're not having them. I have to disagree with the earlier post about "just get something cheap and call it a day." Unless it's edible, no one wants a piece of cheap clutter. Favors are not necessary; your parents are correct. However, if they are important to you pay for them yourself.
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]
Ditto!
Your photobooth is enough of a favor, so long as guests get to take pictures home with them.
And I agree with everyone else, if you're going to do them, do something edible. But I doubt anyone will miss them. Favors are probably the least important thing to worry about.
We're doing truffles and a donation (which I know some people disagree with, but both grandmas were diagnosed with breast cancer 6 months ago, we're giving to that cause).
However, I think they are completely unneccessary. I guarantee most people won't even notice if you don't have them.
If you do them, don't do some knick knack that nobody wants. That is just a waste of money.
In your situation, here's my opinion: if you want them, then you have to pay for them. Your parents are paying 100% for your wedding. If they don't want to pay for favors, don't brow beat them into doing them by saying "but everyone else has done them!". Be gracious about the fact that your parents are spending all this money on you and if you want something they don't want to pay for, just do them yourself. You sound a bit ungrateful when you point out the stuff that you have to pay for while your parents are picking up the majority of the tab. A lot of brides are paying for the entire shindig themselves without complaining.
I would never be offended to not get a favor, which ususally costs in the realm of $.50 to $3.00 each. Especially if I'm traveling to a wedding. One less thing to take home.
40/112
That being said, I think it is perfectly acceptable to go without.
I would be MORE concerned and offended by what you said about a FRIEND who was offended ... because I didn't give them a favor at a wedding. If that's what it comes down to, that doesn't bode well for the friendship IMO, and I would not live my life to try to please people with that mindset.
We're having favors, but mostly because I'm making truffles and they're really easy for me to DIY them since I already have everything on hand (besides chocolate and cream), and we're also having a candy buffet.
If you're worried about what your friends will think, will they really hold a grudge because they didn't walk away from your wedding with a cheap candle or something to eat and forget about? If you can afford to do them and you want to, by all means do, but if you don't want to bother, nobody should hold it against you, and if they do, they're petty.
That said, I've never, ever been to a wedding without favors.
"You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb