I think my post was ate... shoot me if this is a double post.

ILoveToRobot

So, I just found out by searching for ideas for outdoor catholic brides that the marriage is not recognized by the church unless done in a church. Yes, I'm ignorant and dense for not knowing this. I just spoke to FI about it and we'll get married in the eyes of god after our legal wedding (it won't be a huge thing just informal, parents and such so we're married within the church). BTW WAY TOO LATE TO CHANGE NOW.

Anyway, my real question was how to include the catholic ceremony in our wedding? All I can find are things from hispanic heritage that leave flowers on marys altar etc... I'm looking for readings and such. Anyone have any ideas, suggestions, experiences?

azdancer8

Have you tried asking the Catholic board? They might have some helpful ideas.

Look under Cultural Wedding Boards
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DramaGeek

Grrrr.  I responded, then edited, and now I'm reposting.  Stoopid TK.

Anyway, my first response was that you need to call your priest because what you're talking about is a convalidation and I've heard that some priests are really strict about the circumstances under which they'll perform them.  Simply wanting an outdoor wedding doesn't always qualify.

As far as format, I always think of the readings - OT, responsorial Psalm, NT and Gospel.  http://www.catholicweddinghelp.com/wedding-planning/06-choose-readings.htm

kmmssg

One of the guys I work with is having a convalidation over Memorial Day weekend.  I really encourage you to talk to a priest ASAP.  They have had multiple meetings with the priest to explain WHY they married outside the church and WHY they should be allowed to have a convalidation.  It isn't just a "Hey, Father - we need to do a little ceremony inside the church."  My coworker had a time in all of this where it looked like the Priest was not going to allow it because they could have had a Catholic wedding, but chose to get married somewhere else.

Please talk to your church ASAP.

mkrupar

Yeah you need to talk to a priest. You ignorance does not mean they HAVE to allow you to get married "in the eyes of God". I think just wanting an outdoor ceremony, and just generally being unknowledgeable about the rules of a Catholic marriage, might not be enough for a priest to allow a convalidation. I mean how do you think this sounds to them:

"So even though I'm Catholic, presumably confirmed, I didn't pay attention enough to the faith to realize that weddings performed outside of the Church were not considered valid. So can you please just do up a quickie ceremony for us because we really want this to be "in the eyes of God" and we can't be bothered at this point to change our plans and cancel our awesome outdoor ceremony."

mica178

You need to talk with a priest.  Many will not perform convalidations just because you wanted an outdoor wedding.

And adding "Catholic" components to your actual ceremony will not make your Catholic family members feel better.  Most practicing (and semi-practicing) Catholics will know that you'll be marrying in a way considered invalid by the church if you marry outdoors, even if you throw in a few Bible readings and a hymn.

LDYGTR13

*EATEN not ate. 

Sorry - huge pet peeve. HUGE. As in I saw that and cringed. I believe in you and your ability to use the English language correctly!

OliveOilsMom

The reason that outside weddings aren't allowed is because marriage is a sacrament in the Catholic Church, so it must be done inside the walls of a church and according to form.  They will make consessions in some situations, for example, where one family may feel uncomfortable being in a Catholic Church.  But the wedding must still be performed inside of a building and with a priest. 

And as PP said, Convalidations are hard to get.  I would call your priest ASAP to get this all figured out.  If your marriage is not recognized by the Church, ie being performed outside, then you would be unable to receive communion during Mass and may have a problem trying to have any future children baptized.