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addressing questions

I know these types of questions get asked all the time, but I didn't see any on the first page...so hopefully this isn't too repetitive. 

1.  We are sending out STD postcards, should we use the same formalities that we will use with our invitations?  For example, could we use "Jane and Jerry Smith" on the STD and then use "Mr. and Mrs. Gerald Smith" on the invite?  Or should it be the same for STDs and invites? 

2.  For adult cousins who are in relationships, but not living together, is it alright to send the STD to just the cousin?  We will definitely be inviting SOs to the wedding, but if they were to break up between now and the wedding, we obviously don't want to be obligated to invite our cousins' exes.  Is this okay? 

3.  For families with kids, I know that the kids' names get listed on the second line, right?  Do they get titles or last names?

Mr. and Mrs. James Smith
Lucy

or

Mr. and Mrs. James Smith
Miss Lucy Smith

If there are multiple children, what order should they be listed in?  I feel like I am making this way too complicated, but I really don't want to offend anyone.  This summer FI and I received a wedding invite addressed to Mr. Fiance and Guest and I am still bothers me to think about it. 

4.  Last question, I promise!  Does this seem like a good guide to addressing invites or is there a better one out there? http://www.emilypost.com/communication-and-technology/notes-and-letters/96-guide-to-addressing-correspondence
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Re: addressing questions

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-questions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a1874449-264c-4079-9df2-9771343418daPost:573c5ba4-515e-42a3-ae61-490638e36b81">addressing questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know these types of questions get asked all the time, but I didn't see any on the first page...so hopefully this isn't too repetitive.  1.  We are sending out STD postcards, should we use the same formalities that we will use with our invitations?  For example, could we use "Jane and Jerry Smith" on the STD and then use "Mr. and Mrs. Gerald Smith" on the invite?  Or should it be the same for STDs and invites?
    <strong>Yes - I would.  You also already have a working list that you don't need to change. </strong>
    2.  For adult cousins who are in relationships, but not living together, is it alright to send the STD to just the cousin?  We will definitely be inviting SOs to the wedding, but if they were to break up between now and the wedding, we obviously don't want to be obligated to invite our cousins' exes.  Is this okay?
    <strong>Yes - I think most people will suggest doing this.</strong>
    3.  For families with kids, I know that the kids' names get listed on the second line, right?  Do they get titles or last names? Mr. and Mrs. James Smith Lucy or Mr. and Mrs. James Smith Miss Lucy Smith If there are multiple children, what order should they be listed in?  I feel like I am making this way too complicated, but I really don't want to offend anyone.  This summer FI and I received a wedding invite addressed to Mr. Fiance and Guest and I am still bothers me to think about it.
    <strong>You should put their names on a second line.  I was told to do it by age.  You can use titles if you like.  Miss for girls under 18 (but use your discretion here - I think you can use Ms. if they are over 13 personally).  Master for boys under 13, Mr. for boys over 13.</strong>
    4.  Last question, I promise!  Does this seem like a good guide to addressing invites or is there a better one out there? <a href="http://www.emilypost.com/communication-and-technology/notes-and-letters/96-guide-to-addressing-correspondence" rel="nofollow">http://www.emilypost.com/communication-and-technology/notes-and-letters/96-guide-to-addressing-correspondence</a>

    <strong>I liked this one - I found it really helpful</strong>
    <a href="http://www.artisticaddressing.com/Etiquette.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.artisticaddressing.com/Etiquette.htm</a>
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    1. STDs can be more casual

    2. I would just send it to the cousin's address, but put both names on it. People know if they break up that they are no longer invited if they are the ex and the other person is your friend or family member. 

    3. Just first names for the kids. We did ours alphabetically b/c we were not sure how old all of them were. I think if you know their ages, it should go by age.

    4. Emily Post and Crane's are both great guides. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    1) I think being a bit more less formal with STDs is fine.  I think what you stated would work perfectly.

    2) Just send the STD to the cousin.  That is fine.  Even if you do put the cousins current SO on the STD and they break up, typically that is a situation where not inviting the ex even though an STD was sent is ok.  But to be on the safe side it is fine to leave the SOs name off the STD.

    3) Use your first example.  When I addressed invites with multiple kids I just listed them from oldest to youngest.

    4)  No idea but it seems pretty thorough.

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    I liked this one - I found it really helpful http://www.artisticaddressing.com/Etiquette.htm
    Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

    OK, I love this.  It notes that if you invite POTUS, the Pope, and the Queen of England to your wedding you might get a letter back:

    Special Guests

    Although we cannot guarantee a response, we've heard through the grapevine that if you invite some of these notable people to your affair you just may receive a delightful surprise. 

    If you would like an envelope addressed to any one of these individuals, just add them to your address list.

    **********

    This first address is for the President of the United States. It's said that you will receive a letter of congratulations from the President and First Lady, suitable for framing. We have two addresses for this, either should work:

    President and Mrs. Barack Obama
    1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
    Washington, District of Columbia 20500
    or The White House
    Attn: Scheduling Office
    Washington, District of Columbia 20502

    inside envelope:

    Mr. President and The First Lady

    The next person on our list is the Pope.  You just might receive a papal blessing by sending an invitation him.  His address is:  

    Pope Benedict XVI
    Prefettura della Casa Pontifica
    00120 Citta del Vaticano, Italia

    inside envelope:

    His Holiness

    It's said that the Queen of England might send her regrets if she receives an invitation. Her address is:

    The Secretary to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
    Buckingham Palace
    London, England  SW1A 1AA

    inside envelope:

    Her Majesty
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