Please settle this

New MIL

I'm pretty sure I know what the answer is but who chooses the color of the MOB's dress and is she considered a "part of the wedding party" and required to match?

JessAndTrav

I'm not sure if there is an exact rule or what the rule is, but I had my mother and my MIL pick their own dresses. I didn't feel the need to 'control' that aspect of the day. I had plenty of things to worry about instead.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-settle-this-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a1ec51a7-32c4-4334-960e-51e57e286cabPost:be947e51-2502-445a-b5e5-5b0f57b97e1a">Please settle this</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm pretty sure I know what the answer is but who chooses the color of the MOB's dress and is she considered a "part of the wedding party" and required to match?
Posted by New MIL[/QUOTE]

<div>She chooses her own dress, and she is normally not part of the WP, unless she's specifically asked to be MOH or a BM.  </div>

larzhope

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-settle-this-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a1ec51a7-32c4-4334-960e-51e57e286cabPost:fc9762cc-a7ce-4cce-ab6b-00c16d8cfb04">Re: Please settle this</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Please settle this : She chooses her own dress, and she is normally not part of the WP, unless she's specifically asked to be MOH or a BM.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

this

Meg1036

The MOB chooses the dress, and does not need to match.  That said, my mom and FMIL ran their choices by me - which was thoughtful, but unnecessary.

Loopyseven

I told my MIL to wear what she felt comfortable with.  She picked her own outfit and I didn't worry about her matching with anyone.

bridezillatobe2009

My mom will pick out her own. I doubt she wants a purple dress

kgorman307

You definitely get to pick your own dress. My mom always likes to "match" the BM dresses and make sure she doesn't clash with the colors, but I think you really should be able to pick out whatever you want.

I say "always" because I'm the youngest of four and my mom's done this a couple times before

Stackeye210

The MOB and MOG should pick their own dresses.  They're adults and should be able to dress themselves. 

jamiefour

I didn't tell my MIL or mother what color to pick.  They both picked dresses within the same color family of my BM's.  I wouldn't have had a problem with any color they would have picked.

achiduck

Let her pick her own dress that she feels comfortable and beautiful in. The MOB is not part of the traditional wedding party.

Bethanne1202

In my sisters wedding, the MOB and MOG wore dresses with a floral print that had the color of BM dresses.  They weren't asked to they did it on their own.

Brandiewine11

Mothers pick their own dresses. I'm actually not a fan of them matching the BM's at all. They shouldn't clash, but I didn't want them the same color. Both my mom and FI's ran their choices by me, which was nice but not necessary. The BM dresses are dark brown. MOG chose burgandy, my mom chose eggplant. 

LP11509

I'm a fan of MOB and MOG picking their own dresses.  My MIL actually drove me insane because she was frequently pestering me to find out what color dress my mom was going to buy so she could coordinate.  This started over a YEAR before the wedding, when my mom hadn't even began to think about what she wanted to wear. 

jmorford

mine both wanted my help.
they don't match each other or anyone else, but they coordinate with dad/FFIL
(ex: my moms dress is champagne, and she's wearing avocado green shoes and accessories. my dad is wearing an avocado green tie)

ootmother2

I told my daughter's FMIL to shut up and wear beige

Isn't that what the MOG wears?

:P

marinabreeze

LOL oot :-).

OP, the MOB doesn't have to match the WP since she's not in the wedding, so to speak (unless she is the MOH or BM too).  Something that matches the level of formality of the occasion and you're comfortable in should be fine.

My mom asked me this also, and I told her that she could wear what she wanted and she didn't have to match my colors.  She at first wanted more direction and pretty much insisted I give her guidelines.  I didn't.  She is deciding to wear a nice pantsuit to my wedding (my wedding is outdoors so she thought pants would be best for her), which is fine with me.  i haven't seen it yet, but I trust my mom's taste in clothes so I'm sure it'll be fabulous.

New MIL

Thanks everyone!  Those were my thoughts exactly   I was having a discussion with someone (my child is already married) and this came up.

RebeccaB88

Yep, she wears whatever she wants, even if no one else likes it.

wyney

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-settle-this-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a1ec51a7-32c4-4334-960e-51e57e286cabPost:31c950a4-5152-485c-91f1-cd16245f2b2d">Re: Please settle this</a>:
[QUOTE] They're adults and should be able to dress themselves. 
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

But if adults could dress themselves at weddings how would we come by all those team photos of the dressed bridesmaids dressing the bride?


Edit: Please excuse the snark.  I imagine that getting dressed on your wedding day does feel a bit overwhelming, and also considered giving my bridesmaid some direction.

Matty143

My FMIL also asked what color, and length my Mom was wearing. I think it was just to be sure they werent in the same color, which as others have said, was sweet but not necessary. They should pick out what they like, as it is a special day for them as well, and show it to you. No matter what, say you love it!