Wedding Etiquette Forum

Have pastor ask guests to sing?

Would it be odd to ask the officiant to have guests sing along to "I Want to Hold Your Hand" by The Beathes as we are exiting the isle? Thought it would be cute and I think our guests may agree!

Re: Have pastor ask guests to sing?

  • I'd feel really awkward being asked to sing as a guest.  Why not just play the song? 

    Also, not to be rude, but for future reference, you mean "aisle," not "isle."

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  • It might be a little awkward.  Its the sort of thing that's adorable in a movie, but less likely to turn out perfectly.

    Will everyone know the song? I mean, everyone knows it, yeah, but know it well enough to sing it?
  • Yeah, I think that would be kind of weird and awkward. I wouldn't do it.
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  • I don't know if he could get them to do it. We had a hymn in the middle of our ceremony that the organist suggested cutting because he didn't think anyone would sing. We did it anyway because it was important to me not to change the liturgy, but we had a choir which made it less awkward. I don't even know the words to "I want to hold you hand," and I think you're going to have a lot of people looking around at each other awkwardly. 

    If you go ahead with it, definitely print the words in the program.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pastor-ask-guests-sing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a223d77d-c293-4173-bc4c-a8b491cf5d9dPost:2f6be8a3-0816-45a4-8a9e-43014353b88f">Re: Have pastor ask guests to sing?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It might be a little awkward.  Its the sort of thing that's adorable in a movie, but less likely to turn out perfectly. Will everyone know the song? I mean, everyone knows it, yeah, but know it well enough to sing it?
    Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

    I love to sing, but you're going to get a lot of people that won't want to.

    But if you're going to do it, do as Geaux said and have a printed version of the lyrics.
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  • Most, if not all of my FML know's the lyrics. Maybe instead he could say "feel free to sing along"? The wedding is not traditional at all, nor are my family and friends but your responses are def. something to think about! Thanks.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pastor-ask-guests-sing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a223d77d-c293-4173-bc4c-a8b491cf5d9dPost:e190dd87-77ba-47cc-b90f-611a518be516">Re: Have pastor ask guests to sing?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I'd feel really awkward being asked to sing as a guest.</strong>  Why not just play the song?  Also, not to be rude, but for future reference, you mean "aisle," not "isle."
    Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

    This. I would feel uncomfortable. Also, it might not sound as great as you think it will.
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  • I could see it going better if there were people who were going to sing this for you no matter what who encouraged everyone else to join in. I'm just worried that if people don't really know the words or tune or don't join in or sing loudly enough it could be kind of a dud.
    It's SUCH a cute idea though. I guess it depends on your family & guests! Will they sing? Do you have a musical friend who will get it started?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pastor-ask-guests-sing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a223d77d-c293-4173-bc4c-a8b491cf5d9dPost:85e589ed-68ad-444c-93d7-7ebbbc8d4dfe">Re: Have pastor ask guests to sing?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have pastor ask guests to sing? : This. I would feel uncomfortable. Also, <strong>it might not sound as great as you think it will</strong>.
    Posted by PetalPockets2012[/QUOTE]

    This is what I was thinking....think of the Birthday song...everybody knows that song but it, in general, doesn't sound very good especially when they get to the "Happy Brithday to John"
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  • @Kate, I think you are right. My family would sing anyway's their just "that kind of people". No need to have him/her mention it. It will be more fun if people just DO IT!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pastor-ask-guests-sing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a223d77d-c293-4173-bc4c-a8b491cf5d9dPost:1579ed01-0ed8-4f9c-b153-9139ba795bb4">Re: Have pastor ask guests to sing?</a>:
    [QUOTE]@Kate, I think you are right. My family would sing anyway's their just "that kind of people". No need to have him/her mention it. It will be more fun if people just DO IT!
    Posted by deanozzi[/QUOTE]

    I was thinking the same thing.
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  • edited February 2012
    Actually my friend did this exact same thing last summer!! It was adorable. Not everyone will sing and I'm sure some people were awkward but the key is to have the song actually playing and a group of friends or family that you *know* will sing, and the pastor can encourage everyone to join (if they want to). I imagine it would not be as cute without the song playing and just impromptu acapella. Good luck!


  • The song would be playing w/ the lyrics.
  • It might work better if you print the words in your program, and have a few loud family members get it started instead of asking people...
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  • Congregational hymns are common at religious weddings, and a congregational hymn as a recessional is not unheard of. Will there be other congregational singing? Will a sizeable portion of the guests be used to congregational singing? expect it?

    If this is the quirky recessional to a traditional Christian ceremony with other congregational singing, indicated in the program and maybe by the officiant, I think that's fine.
  • It is a very cute idea, but I think you are going to get a lot of people who aren't going to sing.  I would just play the song.  I wouldn't sing because it makes me feel awkward.
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