Wedding Etiquette Forum

How do you Present the Couple when the bride keeps her last name?

Right after the ceremony, when the preacher introduces the bride & groom as "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" to the guests, how do you phrase it if the bride keeps her last name? Or do you have to skip this entirely?

Re: How do you Present the Couple when the bride keeps her last name?

  • The Bride and Groom, John and Jane
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  • Or the new husband and wife, John and Jane


    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • Anyway you want. You can just use your first names.

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  • Look at Mrs.B, bein' all genius as usual. :)
  • However they want to, although aren't they technically Mr and Mrs John Smith even if she continues to go by Jane Doe?
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  • I like OWNs idea because than you can let your guests know that you'll be keeping your name.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_present-couple-bride-keeps-her-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a3e076db-c874-40d0-a5ea-c494fb328be2Post:bbf5af21-d266-4229-9c98-7f240838f2e7">Re: How do you Present the Couple when the bride keeps her last name?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We did "For the first time as husband and wife, Mark X and Peggy Y" 
    Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

    I did this for my first marriage when I kept my last name.  For this one I actually changed my name but we sipped this entirely since my cousin married us in a low key kinda informal thing.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_present-couple-bride-keeps-her-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a3e076db-c874-40d0-a5ea-c494fb328be2Post:bc319f8f-bae6-4ed4-b823-44dc3ba8190b">Re: How do you Present the Couple when the bride keeps her last name?</a>:
    [QUOTE]However they want to, although aren't they technically Mr and Mrs John Smith even if she continues to go by Jane Doe?
    Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

    no, they are not. 

    our priest didnt announce us and we didnt get introduced at the reception either.  had we, it would have been somethign like "i present to you for the first time as husband and wife john smith and jane doe". 
  • Les, I think you are correct.  But I also think that a main reason women keep their names is to avoid being referred to as "mrs. husband's first name husband's last name."  So I think most couples who choose to retain their own names would want to use one of the options listed in the thread. 
  • We (first marriage) were announced into the reception with something like: "Introducing for the first time as a married couple, Jane Doe and John Smith." It was important to me that my full name be announced because if we'd just used first names, I would have felt like I was trying to hide the fact that I wasn't taking his name.  

    [quote]
    However they want to, although aren't they technically Mr and Mrs John Smith even if she continues to go by Jane Doe? [/quote]

    No. Not "technically" (I don't even know what that means), legally, morally, or any other way. If she's not changing her name, she's Jane Doe. Period.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_present-couple-bride-keeps-her-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a3e076db-c874-40d0-a5ea-c494fb328be2Post:bbf5af21-d266-4229-9c98-7f240838f2e7">Re: How do you Present the Couple when the bride keeps her last name?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We did "For the first time as husband and wife, Mark X and Peggy Y" 
    Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

    I like this. We might also do, "please help welcome the happy couple," or our first names, or some variation.
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  • But I also think that a main reason women keep their names is to avoid being referred to as "mrs. husband's first name husband's last name."

    i cant speak for all who keep their names, but my decision had nothing to do with not wanting to be called Mrs. John Smith. 
  • We're just planning on doing our first names, but I like ohwhynot's suggestion if you want to make it clear to guests that neither of you is changing your name.
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  • Some women keep their maiden names legally and professionally but will use their husband's last name socially.  So, how your officiant announces you is absolutely up to you.  You can be Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, or John and Jane, or John Smith and Jane Doe. 
  • We did it just as OWN suggested; something to the effect of "presenting for the first time as husband and wife, MyFirst MyLast and HisFirst HisLast." I think just using first names would work just as well.
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  • Even if I do decide to change my name, we'll still do, "for the first time as husband and wife, john and jane!"
  • We're just doing "Brides-first-name and grooms-first-name." I thought about doing first and last but decided that would be more political than just going with the first names only.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_present-couple-bride-keeps-her-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a3e076db-c874-40d0-a5ea-c494fb328be2Post:dd96c677-87da-433c-a61d-90c0018e4486">Re: How do you Present the Couple when the bride keeps her last name?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I actually like your option best, OWN.  And I respect the choice for the bride to not take her husband's last name.  I was thinking more of the technicality of it - but the actual announcement doesn't have to reflect that.
    Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

    Sure. but TECHNICALLY the bride's name is still the bride's name unless she legally changes it. So no, she is most certainly not technically Mrs. John Smith unless she legally fills out paperwork to have the husband's name.
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