Bridal Shower Gifts and Cash

lifeonthehill

Hi ladies.

Against my wishes a bridal shower is being planned and I am happy to say the idea is growing on me. MY family loves me very much and knew if they just got the ball rolling I would be fine. Haha.

Anyways... Do you have to wait to use the gifts you are given until after the wedding? What about the cash and checks? I would love to take any money I recieve and of course put it in our wedding budget but I don't know how this is supposed to be.

Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks in advance!

artbyallie

Well, you likely will not be receiving money at a bridal shower anyway, as they're meant for physical gifts. And most people are aware of how awkward it is to watch people open cards full of money/checks. But if you do get any there or in the mail, cash/deposit and send thank-you notes, but do not spend until after the wedding.

SB1512

Techinically, you should wait to use gifts and cash until after the wedding (you can cash the checks though).  In the event your wedding were to get called off, you would return the gifts and cash and if it's already spent you would be in a bind.  However I have known some people to use some of their less expensive gifts (waffle iron, toaster, etc) that could easily be replaced by the couple if the wedding were to get called off. 

ThankfulSnail

If you get any checks before the wedding, you can deposit them. I would deposit cash into a savings account as well so you can keep track of it.

I would not use any money given to you as a gift to pay for the wedding, unless you would be prepared to pay them back should the wedding not take place. I didn't use any wedding gifts until after the wedding. It may seem silly and like nothing could possibly go wrong, but I bet people who did call off their wedding at the point where people were sending gifts or thowing showers thought there was no way it would happen to them, either.

kipnus

I think most people prefer that you cash their cheques right away (I know I do!) and yes, you are allowed to use shower gifts before the wedding. Make sure you get your TY cards as soon as possible after the shower!

Kate61487

cash the checks but don't use any gifts or spend any gift money until after the wedding.  Like PP said, if things were to get called off for whatever reason (break-up, serious illness/injury, etc.) proper etiquette would have you returning those gifts. 

Ali092011

Technically, you are not supposed to use your shower gifts or spend any money given to you before the wedding until after the wedding. This is because if for some reason the wedding does not take place, you are supposed to offer to return all of the gifts that people bought for you and your husband to start your new lives together. (I have heard that most guests decline, as they would not dream of demanding to get their gift back at such a difficult and sensitive time, but etiquette states that you must ask them anyway.)

I received one check, cash from one guest, and three gift cards at my shower. I'm guessing some people didn't have time to run to BBB, so they grabbed a GC at Walgreens or something on the way to the shower. Showers are obviously for physical gifts, but there is a possibility that at least one guest will give you money or a gift card. If that is the case, you cash the check right away and do not spend it until after the wedding unless the giver specifically tells you you may. (For example, my mom gave me a check as a shower gift, and it was the money she had offered to put towards my wedding flowers, so obviously I used it towards my wedding flowers lol.) Most guests, however, probably don't want you to use their gift money on the wedding itself.

lifeonthehill

Thank you ladies! Any checks and cash will go into the savings account and gifts will stay in the hall closet!

Much appreciated!

hoffse

Sounds like a plan, OP.  If you do get any cash, you can plan on using it on your honeymoon for something you might purchase there (like a nice dinner, etc).