Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?

allisong44

My husband and I were married last year and are currently living abroad. The ceremony was organized by his parents over the course of about 2 months and was very intimate (about 30 people: only his parents, 2 other family members and very close friends/neighbors attended). Because it was organized so quickly and was held abroad, my friends and family did not attend. We are planning another ceremony in the US with my family and friends after we move back next year. However, I'm worried about whether or not I should have a registry. We visted my family in the US once after our wedding and the friends and family we saw were kind enough to give us checks or cash, which we did not expect at all. Since we're selling everything before moving back and will spend some time living with my family at first instead of our own place, by the time we have our "2nd wedding" we plan on moving and will really need the items that are traditionally requested on a registry. Is it too much to ask for items on a registry after having received some unexpected "gifts?" I feel guilty about it already, what do you recommend?

MyUserName1

Really?  You absolutely cannot register for your fake wedding.  That's ridiculous.  These people ALREADY gave you wedding gifts and you're going to ask for another wedding gift from them?  

crash2729

I wouldn't make a registry for a VR since showers aren't appropriate for VRs. 

If you don't have a registry and people want to gift you something it will more than likely be cash/check like the last one.

kmmssg

Ditto MyUser.  You have been back since your wedding, you have received any gifts you are going to receive.  You should not register for this vow renewal.

allisong44

Just to clarify, it's not a "fake wedding." Our first ceremony was a civil ceremony followed by a luncheon. With my family and friends in the US we'd like to do a religious ceremony and reception. We didn't have any kind of shower or bachelor/bachelorette parties. I'm really undecided about it because I had the impression that the whole idea of a registry and shower was to help prepare the couple set up house and we will need help with that, but I don't want anyone to feel obligated to get us something.

TheSlowskys

In Response to Re:Registry Guilt what's appropriate in this case?:[QUOTE]Just to clarify, it's not a quot;fake wedding.quot; Our first ceremony was a civil ceremony followed by a luncheon. With my family and friends in the US we'd like to do a religious ceremony and reception. We didn't have any kind of shower or bachelor/bachelorette parties. I'm really undecided about it because I had the impression that the whole idea of a registry and shower was to help prepare the couple set up house and we will need help with that, but I don't want anyone to feel obligated to get us something. Posted by allisong44[/QUOTE]

Your wedding ship has sailed. Sorry. Have your vow renewal and if people want to give you gifts they will but do not make a registry. You and your HUSBAND are adults and if you now need things to set up your home that's your responsibility.

sparkles776

If you are already legally married, it is more like a vow renewal, because you cant get married twice. I understand you will need help getting things for your home, but I think in this instance its not appropriate to register or have a shower when you are already married.

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:d9c0fa8d-420a-44a9-9865-e9af63ecd09c">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just to clarify, it's not a "fake wedding." Our first ceremony was a civil ceremony followed by a luncheon. With my family and friends in the US we'd like to do a religious ceremony and reception. We didn't have any kind of shower or bachelor/bachelorette parties. I'm really undecided about it because I had the impression that the whole idea of a registry and shower was to help prepare the couple set up house and we will need help with that, but I don't want anyone to feel obligated to get us something.
Posted by allisong44[/QUOTE]

<div>People don't just have showers and make registries--they are connected to a wedding.  You already had your wedding and are legally married.  You should never expect gifts, but especially in your case where you are already married and people already gave you cash gifts.  Those cash gifts could have been saved to set up your home.  </div><div>
</div><div>If you want to throw a party to celebrate your marriage, go for it, but I would not try to make it into a do-over wedding.  </div>

ryansiobhan88

You have no reason to feel guilty. If you didn't have a formal shower prior to the Civil Union 'ceremony' then you have every right to have a registry now. Many newlyweds receive gifts for their marriage up to a year after their marriage and that often is after more than one wedding shower too. If your friends and family weren't there for the day of the civil union then you should be able to share the experience of love in your life with your Husband with your friends. That is the point of a wedding and shower after all. You have a wedding ceremony because you want to share your binding love with your close friends and family. You have a shower because your friends and family want to congratulate you and help you make this big step in your life. If you were abroad then most likely your friends and family didn't know that you would have ceremony/reception/shower in the US and then felt that they'd want to take that opportunity to congratulate you when they saw you. You never had a proper shower or registry before so you are absolutely obligated to have one still, within at least three years it would be appropirate considering your circumstances.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:2248f41e-cb6f-4e95-96c2-25d1eb796300">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case? : This is horrible advice. Her ship has sailed, and people DID give her gifts already, in the form of cash. They're done, this is done. You don't get after the fact showers.  Obligated to have a registry and a shower? Are you taking something? 
Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]
Ditto this. <div>Does the church see you as married? Otherwise, you are having a Vow Renewal. </div><div>
</div><div>Even if the church does not recognize your marriage I think it'd still be stretching it to have a registry. Whether you need the stuff or not.</div>

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:8ba096f1-0f9e-454d-8756-5fd66df20df3">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]You have no reason to feel guilty. If you didn't have a formal shower prior to the Civil Union 'ceremony' then you have every right to have a registry now. Many newlyweds receive gifts for their marriage up to a year after their marriage and that often is after more than one wedding shower too. If your friends and family weren't there for the day of the civil union then you should be able to share the experience of love in your life with your Husband with your friends. That is the point of a wedding and shower after all. You have a wedding ceremony because you want to share your binding love with your close friends and family. You have a shower because your friends and family want to congratulate you and help you make this big step in your life. If you were abroad then most likely your friends and family didn't know that you would have ceremony/reception/shower in the US and then felt that they'd want to take that opportunity to congratulate you when they saw you. <strong>You never had a proper shower or registry before so you are absolutely obligated to have one still, within at least three years it would be appropirate considering your circumstances.</strong>
Posted by ryansiobhan88[/QUOTE]

<div>That's a special rule.</div>

J&K10910

No one is EVER obligated to have a shower--even a first time bride that isn't already legally wed.  WTF?

OP, let me put your question into simple words so you can get the full idea of what you're asking: "I am already legally married, and our friends  and family already gave us gifts.  Can I get married again and ask for MORE gifts from the people that already gave us gifts?"

No.  You can't.  The solution to your problem is to use the money you get from selling all your stuff to buy your new stuff, and I don't understand why you're unable to see that there are other ways to furnish your new house than with a wedding registry.

arendiva

I have a solution. Use the money that you planned on using for you fake wedding and reception and buy stuff for your house.

Loopyseven

You are already legally married.  It is fine to have a vow renewal/religious ceremony (called a convalidation), but a vow renewal is not a wedding and does not come with the perks of a wedding.  No registry, no showers, no b-parties.  The dress should be scaled down and simple, the reception more like a party than a wedding reception.  Skip any bouquet/garter tosses, cake cutting and first dances and just have dinner and dancing/entertainment for the evening.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:f49d0369-7cd5-484b-b2ba-93dc0cea29c3">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a solution. Use the money that you planned on using for you fake wedding and reception and buy stuff for your house.
Posted by arendiva[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  If you are strapped and need everything for a new home, you shouldn't be wasting money on a completely unnecessary vow renewal.  </div>

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:8ba096f1-0f9e-454d-8756-5fd66df20df3">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]You have no reason to feel guilty. If you didn't have a formal shower prior to the Civil Union 'ceremony' then you have every right to have a registry now. Many newlyweds receive gifts for their marriage up to a year after their marriage and that often is after more than one wedding shower too. If your friends and family weren't there for the day of the civil union then you should be able to share the experience of love in your life with your Husband with your friends. That is the point of a wedding and shower after all. You have a wedding ceremony because you want to share your binding love with your close friends and family. You have a shower because your friends and family want to congratulate you and help you make this big step in your life. If you were abroad then most likely your friends and family didn't know that you would have ceremony/reception/shower in the US and then felt that they'd want to take that opportunity to congratulate you when they saw you. You never had a proper shower or registry before so you are absolutely obligated to have one still, within at least three years it would be appropirate considering your circumstances.
Posted by ryansiobhan88[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This takes the case for most horrible advice I have seen today.</div><div>
</div><div>OP - if you need things to set up house again, skip the religious ceremony (which will not make you any more married, it is a do over) and buy what you need.  You are married, you have things to set up a house, you are choosing to sell them.  That is not what a shower is for.  You.Are.Married.  No showers.

</div>

allychase

This is so strange to me. If I heard someone I knew had gotten married last year, whether it be a simple ceremony or huge event and over a YEAR later was like "were still celebrating! Here's our registry!" I'd want NOTHING to do with it. The fact you acknowledge you already received gifts from these guests shows they acknowledged your wedding, they were happy for you, understood they couldnt attend, everyone went on with life. It's SOO gift grabby to bring it back up so long after the fact. I doubt everyone's been sitting around this whole time waiting for you to redo everything for them. If you want to have a party, that's fine, I mean it's strange to me to have another wedding celebration after you've already been back but whatever. Just don't register. You shouldn't be getting any gifts.

beardo1111

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:8427fd98-448f-4d31-86af-a229a0635de0">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, sorry, no registry for you. Regardless if you'll need it, you're married and your wedding-related stuff is in your past. People already gave you money, and you're selling eveyrthing, so you're going to have to take what you have from that and buy everything here the old fashioned way.  Also, please call it a vow renewal and NOT a wedding. You're married, it's not a wedding. Calling it as much would be essentially lying to your guests, and it's a huge slap in the face to anyone coming under false pretenses. 
Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]

Second this.  It's not appropriate to register and not appropriate to call this a wedding if you're legally married.

beardo1111

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:8ba096f1-0f9e-454d-8756-5fd66df20df3">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]You have no reason to feel guilty. <strong>If you didn't have a formal shower prior to the Civil Union 'ceremony' then you have every right to have a registry now</strong>. Many newlyweds receive gifts for their marriage up to a year after their marriage and that often is after more than one wedding shower too. If your friends and family weren't there for the day of the civil union then you should be able to share the experience of love in your life with your Husband with your friends. That is the point of a wedding and shower after all. You have a wedding ceremony because you want to share your binding love with your close friends and family. You have a shower because your friends and family want to congratulate you and help you make this big step in your life. If you were abroad then most likely your friends and family didn't know that you would have ceremony/reception/shower in the US and then felt that they'd want to take that opportunity to congratulate you when they saw you. <strong>You never had a proper shower or registry before so you are absolutely obligated to have one still, within at least three years it would be appropirate considering your circumstances</strong>.
Posted by ryansiobhan88[/QUOTE]

This makes NO sense....I've never heard of anything remotely like his.  You are already married and already got gifts. This is not a wedding and it's not appropriate to register.  Period.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:f49d0369-7cd5-484b-b2ba-93dc0cea29c3">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a solution. Use the money that you planned on using for you fake wedding and reception and buy stuff for your house.
Posted by arendiva[/QUOTE]

This exactly. Guess what? We married in 2011, we did receive quite a bit of stuff from our registry, but then decided in 2012 to buy a house much larger than the apartment we were living in. Did we say, "Hey, we need furniture and what not for our house. Let's have a fake second wedding and register again so we can furnish our new place"? No. No, we did not. We used our own money to buy what we could and are holding off on some items until we save more money. That's what people do. They don't have a second "wedding" and register again to furnish a new place.

Julie2013

Please correct me if I'm wrong as I've never made my own registry before, but when a registry is made, nobody will know it's there unless you tell them, right? Could you make the registry, but only tell people it's there if they ask? I love registries when it comes to times of gift-giving. I love knowing I got something the recipient wanted and that hadn't already been bought by somebody else. If my relative had gotten married overseas, moved back to the USA, and was planning a "2nd wedding"/religious ceremony/vow renewal/convalidation ceremony/whatever-you-choose-to-call-it and I was invited, I'm the type that would ask around about what the couple might like or need. I do it for all gift-giving occasions I'm invited to, be it birthday, Christmas, or anything in between!

Just for the sake of full disclosure on any biases I might have, I'm planning a vow renewal for our 15th anniversary next year, but we are not registering. We see this as more of an anniversary dinner kicked off by the hubs and I taking vows and exchanging new rings. When we get asked what we want (and knowing our families, we WILL get asked!), we plan to say, "You! At our party! We don't need anything else." Of course, we won't be rude by refusing a gift if somebody wants to get us one for our anniversary, but we will be perfectly happy if we aren't given a thing.

Julie

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:4844e096-1741-4d13-ad18-08bfd1e7dd87">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]Please correct me if I'm wrong as I've never made my own registry before, but when a registry is made, <strong>nobody will know it's there unless you tell them, right?</strong> Could you make the registry, but only tell people it's there if they ask? I love registries when it comes to times of gift-giving. I love knowing I got something the recipient wanted and that hadn't already been bought by somebody else. If my relative had gotten married overseas, moved back to the USA, and was planning a "2nd wedding"/religious ceremony/vow renewal/convalidation ceremony/whatever-you-choose-to-call-it and I was invited, I'm the type that would ask around about what the couple might like or need. I do it for all gift-giving occasions I'm invited to, be it birthday, Christmas, or anything in between! Just for the sake of full disclosure on any biases I might have, I'm planning a vow renewal for our 15th anniversary next year, but we are not registering. We see this as more of an anniversary dinner kicked off by the hubs and I taking vows and exchanging new rings. When we get asked what we want (and knowing our families, we WILL get asked!), we plan to say, "You! At our party! We don't need anything else." Of course, we won't be rude by refusing a gift if somebody wants to get us one for our anniversary, but we will be perfectly happy if we aren't given a thing. Julie
Posted by Julie2013[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Not necessarily true.  Most big-box stores sell their information to theknot, weddingchannel, amazingregistry.com, etc.  If you google the names of most brides/grooms their registries appear.  </div><div>
</div><div>There's a big difference to me between a vow renewal at a major milestone and having a redo wedding a year later - OP has already received generous gifts from these people.  Double-dipping from them twice in a year is just rude.  While I would probably give a token gift to a vow renewal in your situation (like a bottle of wine, etc), I would be offended if OP invited me to her redo wedding and registry information was made available either through her, her family, or the internet.

</div>

ryansiobhan88

Obligated was the wrong word, for that, I apologize. I meant to say (for the lack of a better word) that she has every right up to three years as often a couple may be moving a year after a wedding and would like to postpone a registry till then or perhaps a Military couple would need of a longer circumstance. Consider this: due to being in a different country for a civil union ceremony where none of her friends or family were able to attend - imagine not having any traditional gifts that MOST newlyweds would receive from their loved ones. I will share that my sister who was already living with her husband in a fully equipped condo was given two showers from family (two different parts of the country) and had a light registry that she only did share with close friends and family who asked for it. And it is 100% expected(again lack for a better word) to be receiving gifts up to a year after a wedding on the guest(s) request. To say that this bride does not have the right to have a registry for her friends and family who didn't get to see their loved one get married and deny them the pleasure of congratulating/gifting the said-couple is just wrong.

rsanna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:26cea90b-0e96-497c-b21a-95df9b8bef46">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]Obligated was the wrong word, for that, I apologize. I meant to say (for the lack of a better word) that she has every right up to three years as often a couple may be moving a year after a wedding and would like to postpone a registry till then or perhaps a Military couple would need of a longer circumstance. Consider this: due to being in a different country for a civil union ceremony where none of her friends or family were able to attend - imagine not having any traditional gifts that MOST newlyweds would receive from their loved ones. I will share that my sister who was already living with her husband in a fully equipped condo was given two showers from family (two different parts of the country) and had a light registry that she only did share with close friends and family who asked for it. And it is 100% expected(again lack for a better word) to be receiving gifts up to a year after a wedding on the guest(s) request. To say that this bride does not have the right to have a registry for her friends and family who didn't get to see their loved one get married and deny them the pleasure of congratulating/gifting the said-couple is just wrong.
Posted by ryansiobhan88[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I didn't know I had to give someone a gift to congratulate them on something.  Especially when this married woman (not a bride) chose to get married when and where she did with the knowledge that not everyone would be able to attend and she may not get the traditional, but never expected, required or obligated showers or bachelor/ette parties. 

</div>

Julie2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:6085af97-cccb-4812-b00d-b3f28ac93f35">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case? : Not necessarily true.  Most big-box stores sell their information to theknot, weddingchannel, amazingregistry.com, etc.  If you google the names of most brides/grooms their registries appear.   There's a big difference to me between a vow renewal at a major milestone and having a redo wedding a year later - OP has already received generous gifts from these people.  Double-dipping from them twice in a year is just rude.  While I would probably give a token gift to a vow renewal in your situation (like a bottle of wine, etc), I would be offended if OP invited me to her redo wedding and registry information was made available either through her, her family, or the internet.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

Thank you for filling me in, hoffse. :)

Julie

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:26cea90b-0e96-497c-b21a-95df9b8bef46">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]Obligated was the wrong word, for that, I apologize. I meant to say (for the lack of a better word) that she has every right up to three years as often a couple may be moving a year after a wedding and would like to postpone a registry till then or perhaps a Military couple would need of a longer circumstance. Consider this: due to being in a different country for a civil union ceremony where none of her friends or family were able to attend - imagine not having any traditional gifts that MOST newlyweds would receive from their loved ones. I will share that my sister who was already living with her husband in a fully equipped condo was given two showers from family (two different parts of the country) and had a light registry that she only did share with close friends and family who asked for it. And it is 100% expected(again lack for a better word) to be receiving gifts up to a year after a wedding on the guest(s) request. To say that this bride does not have the right to have a registry for her friends and family who didn't get to see their loved one get married and deny them the pleasure of congratulating/gifting the said-couple is just wrong.
Posted by ryansiobhan88[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Where on Earth did you get this God awful idea?  THE COUPLE ALREADY GOT GIFTS WHEN THEY CAME BACK TO THE US FOR A VISIT.  They are done.

</div>

rachelm13

Since you will be living with your family for awhile until you get your own place, is it correct to assume that you will not be paying rent to the person you will be living with?

brommel

<div>I'll dangerously play along ... while I do personally believe that <em style="font-weight:bold;">no</em>, you are not "entitled" to a registry, if, for whatever reason (as in, maybe people that didn't give you gifts would like to now get you a gift, <u style="font-weight:bold;">not</u> as in people giving you twice), make one, but tell no one.  Sounds silly, but you still get to "play pretend" and hope you get a few items, but there's no hard feelings if you get nothing.  Remember - registry info doens't go anywhere near your invite, and if you're having a website, I'd still shy away from putting it on there.  People would only find it on the web, if they searched for registry + Jane & John, so ideally, that would mean that they have the intent to get you something.</div><div>
</div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-guilt-whats-appropriate-in-this-case?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a45b7d52-7edf-4d02-80b0-cef29710d535Post:4844e096-1741-4d13-ad18-08bfd1e7dd87">Re: Registry Guilt- what's appropriate in this case?</a>:
[QUOTE]Please correct me if I'm wrong as I've never made my own registry before, but when a registry is made, nobody will know it's there unless you tell them, right? Could you make the registry, but only tell people it's there if they ask? I love registries when it comes to times of gift-giving. I love knowing I got something the recipient wanted and that hadn't already been bought by somebody else. If my relative had gotten married overseas, moved back to the USA, and was planning a "2nd wedding"/religious ceremony/vow renewal/convalidation ceremony/whatever-you-choose-to-call-it and I was invited, I'm the type that would ask around about what the couple might like or need. I do it for all gift-giving occasions I'm invited to, be it birthday, Christmas, or anything in between! Just for the sake of full disclosure on any biases I might have, I'm planning a vow renewal for our 15th anniversary next year, but we are not registering. We see this as more of an anniversary dinner kicked off by the hubs and I taking vows and exchanging new rings. When we get asked what we want (and knowing our families, we WILL get asked!), we plan to say, "You! At our party! We don't need anything else." Of course, we won't be rude by refusing a gift if somebody wants to get us one for our anniversary, but we will be perfectly happy if we aren't given a thing. Julie
Posted by Julie2013[/QUOTE]