FMIL vs. the Aisle Runner

heather011

This is such a ridiculous question, I can't believe I even have to ask it, but here goes:

We are only having one usher at our wedding (my brother), and it is in a beautiful small old church, so the only ceremony decoration will be an aisle runner.

Yesterday FMIL pulls me aside and says that she has been "up nights" worrying about the aisle runner and the fact that there is only one usher because: 

a) there should ALWAYS be someone at the back of the church and

b) there needs to be 2 people to unroll the aisle runner once everyone is seated and that is the ushers' "job".  When I told her that I was going to just have the aisle runner out the whole time, I think her heart stopped for a minute.  She told me if I do that it will be completely BLACK from people's shoes.

So, did anyone commit the apparent wedding sin of letting their guests walk on the aisle runner before the ceremony started?  Is FMIL right that it will be ruined if I do this?  

I just don't really want to make my brother unroll it in front of everyone.   And even though I don't think it's a 2 person job, I also don't want to have myself or FI ask someone else to be an usher 6 weeks out when the rest of the WP was chosen 9 months ago.  Plus, if the runner does get a bit dirty, I'm sure my photog will be able to photoshop it out . . . right?

SparrowSong

I've seen quite a few weddings where the aisle runner is already in place (or a bunch of rose petals) but the center aisle is blocked off and the usher's job is direct people to the side aisles to access their seats.

september's bride

I can see both sides, without clutching my pearls like your FMIL.

If you only want one usher, then go with that and don't worry too much about the aisle runner. Typically, yes, they get quite dirty if they're walked on prior to the ceremony, but this may be one of those things where you win some, you lose some.

Is there any way that the aisle runner can be put out just before the mothers are seated or something? Maybe the usher and another male relative could do that together and limit the amount of time the runner is walked on?

megk8oz

Ours was placed before the ceremony started. Our venue had the center aisle blocked off with a ribbon prior while the guests took their seats. I think they untied the ribbon when it was time for the MOB and MOG to be seated.

sarah0725

Man, we're not even having an aisle runner. My wedding must be doomed.

Srasotasunshine

I can see both sides of this. First I would validate her concerns and tell her you appreciate her concern and you will take them into consideration (this will help stop any pestering that is going on...and you can continue to repeat what you've said if she does pester you again). She does have some valid concerns such as the aisle runner getting dirty...but if you can do it have the usher rope off the isle and direct everyone to enter the seating area from the side.

You really wouldn't need more than one usher...and September made a good point...you could ask another male family member to help with that one thing.

I wouldn't want the worry of how much the photog can FS out any dirt on the isle runner...Just think about the pros and cons.

M&R7111

Would it be bad etiquette to ask someone to help your brother unroll the runner but not include them with a formal title?  That's what I would do, but I'm very informal when it comes to weddings.  I would pull my cousin aside and be like "do me a favor?...."

heather011

Thanks for the advice guys!  I guess I will see if I can rope off the aisle so it doesn't get dirty beforehand.  I honestly thought this was another case of FMIL being overly dramatic, but apparently her concern was valid.  Weird! lol

She'll probably find another reason why there "needs" to be 2 ushers, but that's another story.  Thanks again.

brookelynpaisley

I'm with Sarah - we didn't use an aisle runner. No one even noticed. As a guest, I think if I saw one laid out before the ceremony started, I'd know better than to walk on it, anyway. Blocking off the aisle with a ribbon is a great option - your usher could just undo the ribbon prior to the start of the ceremony rather than unroll the aisle runner.

heather011

Oh, and I like the idea of just asking another family member to informally help out with the runner if we can't rope off the aisle for some reason.  That's definitely much better than asking someone to join the WP basically to do one thing 

heather011

Sarah and brookelyn - I actually never wanted an aisle runner either, which is probably why I'm not versed on all the "procedures" that go along with them!  We didn't want a lot of decorations since the church is so beautiful on its own, but we did want something to set it apart from a regular Sunday service, so we thought the aisle runner was a good low-maintenance option but apparently not so much

brookelynpaisley

There are other ways to set it apart from a Sunday service if you haven't already committed to an aisle runner. You could use fresh flowers on the pews. To be honest, though, you in a white dress will set it apart. I don't think anyone there would mistake it for a regular mass we debated an aisle runner and flowers on the chairs (outside wedding) and decided we liked the simple bare look and let the moment and the setting speak for themselves. Not trying to sway you, just saying that your wedding will be beautiful with or without the extras.

luckyme502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fmil-vs-aisle-runner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a528ba4c-f506-476d-b041-97bee666dd7fPost:d8f88e9e-d4b8-42c8-a2fd-771128a5b311">Re: FMIL vs. the Aisle Runner</a>:
[QUOTE]Man, we're not even having an aisle runner. My wedding must be doomed.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

We aren't having a aisle runner either.  We are getting married outside and I was too worried about tripping on it!

heather011

brookelyn -- that's a good point.  I have already purchased the aisle runner, but it was cheap, and now I'm thinking that it might be a good idea to see if we can do some fresh flowers on the pews or something instead and avoid this headache altogether!

banana468

FWIW, our church advised against the aisle runner because the new ones are cheap, slippery and present a hazard for the people walking on it or near it.

We just opted not to have one at all.

megk8oz

Oh, I keep forgetting, we only had an aisle runner because our venue gave it to us for free. I honestly didn't even know we had one until my dad started walking me down the aisle. It was roped off because whoever did the set up that day made that decision ... I honestly don't think I'd be losing sleep over whether or not other people walked on it first.

M&R7111

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fmil-vs-aisle-runner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a528ba4c-f506-476d-b041-97bee666dd7fPost:2faa22b5-cf0d-4000-bde5-b337005435e7">Re: FMIL vs. the Aisle Runner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL vs. the Aisle Runner : We aren't having a aisle runner either.  We are getting married outside and I was too <strong>worried about tripping on it!</strong>
Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

You know, I was just wondering about this myself the other day.  I am getting married outside and the venue puts a runner down for us.  I've seen the cheap crappy ones and I'm afraid with the grass and my heels, I'll trip.  Besides, I never wear heals and so just walking down the isle is going to be nuts for me.

Maybe I should tell them to scrap the runner.  It's not needed.

jillross

I would forgo the aisle runner and just do flowers - the entire concern is dealt with

PharmacyBride

This convo is pretty much dead.. but I just wanted to make a quick comment about flowers without a runner.

This is not allowed in my church as they are afraid the flowers will stain the floor.  Also, we are required to do the clean up after the ceremony.. so it is much easier to roll up all the flowers in the runner than pick up each one (which may have broken into small pieces as people walk on it).  Find out from your venue if they have any restrictions about flowers/runners.

One more thing.. I think you only need one person to do the runner.  I remember a wedding with only one guy handling the runner.. it had a rope attached to both ends and he was able to hold it from the top/middle.

luckyme502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fmil-vs-aisle-runner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a528ba4c-f506-476d-b041-97bee666dd7fPost:54d36f15-2799-4c44-b03a-6bb6ed8a240e">Re: FMIL vs. the Aisle Runner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL vs. the Aisle Runner : You know, I was just wondering about this myself the other day.  I am getting married outside and the venue puts a runner down for us.  I've seen the cheap crappy ones and I'm afraid with the grass and my heels, I'll trip.  Besides, I never wear heals and so just walking down the isle is going to be nuts for me. Maybe I should tell them to scrap the runner.  It's not needed.
Posted by M&R7111[/QUOTE]

I wanted one, but the cheap ones will not lay flat, and then you run the risk of tripping on them, and the really nice "carpet" ones are super expensive.  It was going to be like $500 to rent.  So, we decided on rose petals lining the the aisle.