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NWR: So this happened today...

I was in Target with the nine-month-old I nanny for. My sweatshirt was apparently pulling my my teeshirt so that about an inch of my lower back was exposed - no butt crack, just lower back. I tugged at it most of the day, but in between tugs, an older woman approached me and said "Excuse me ma'am, but your rear end is hanging out and frankly you're just too fat to be going around like that."

My jaw hit the floor. I said "Thank you. I'll give you a thirty second head start. You should walk away now."

Real great confidence booster before my dress fitting tomorrow.
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Re: NWR: So this happened today...

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    I had a good long cry in the car. There was the temptation to haul off and slap her, but (a) I was on the job, (b) there was a kid with me, and (c) she was seriously in her late-60s or early 70s. I just couldn't. But I'm the kind of person that cries when angry/sad/frustrated.
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    Wow, that is awful.  I probably would have said something awful like, "I would rather be fat than be a complete b****"  So you are far nicer than me.  Don't take her words to heart.  You will look beautiful in your dress.
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    Let me just say I don't know you but if you stalk this woman down and get me her address I will GLADLY go and give what she's got coming to her for you! THE NERVE!!!! 

    Don't let the dress sstres you out. Your FI loves you for you, and will be thrilled to see you looking beautiful and confident on your wedding day!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-so-this-happened-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a711e380-6d71-4d56-b319-776dc69ab5f1Post:85d22dcf-807c-4bb4-9ae2-d02b2374fcd5">NWR: So this happened today...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was in Target with the nine-month-old I nanny for. My sweatshirt was apparently pulling my my teeshirt so that about an inch of my lower back was exposed - no butt crack, just lower back. I tugged at it most of the day, but in between tugs, an older woman approached me and said "Excuse me ma'am, but your rear end is hanging out and frankly you're just too fat to be going around like that." My jaw hit the floor. I said "Thank you. I'll give you a thirty second head start. You should walk away now." Real great confidence booster before my dress fitting tomorrow.
    Posted by CourtaniaLynn[/QUOTE]

    I would've said, "You're old and inappropriate".
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    The only consolation is that this woman probably leads a much more miserable life than you anyways.  It must be depressing to be such a b**** all the time.

    SaveSave
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    I am so sorry that happened!  People are so RUDE!  :(  I totally would've done the angry cry too.  I'm sure you look absolutely beautiful in your gown, and I hope this fades from your mind completely and quickly!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    reminds me of the time my friend was in line with a TON of toys for her kids for christmas and this woman told her how spoiled her kids must be. She turned around and told the woman it was ALL for charity and how dare her assume?


    I'm horrified by people....and I'm really upset for you on this target experience.... this was just rotten. I'm having trouble moving on to the next post. <hug />
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-so-this-happened-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a711e380-6d71-4d56-b319-776dc69ab5f1Post:c40f9d3f-32d5-433e-9e52-db6a7b125d9c">Re: NWR: So this happened today...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would have handled it southern style. "Why, how kind of you to tell me that I'm too fat!  You must have thought for a long time before approaching me with such a thoughtful comment on my personal appearance.  I'm sure your day is going to be just wonderful after sharing such nice thoughts with a perfect stranger.  I 'll bet your Momma taught you to be so considerate, didn't she?" Southern ladies can insult you with style!
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    <div>I would have handled it this way too just probably with "Well bless your heart"</div><div>
    </div><div>OP you will look gorgeous in your dress. Don't let what an old biddy said ruin your excitement for your day. </div>
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    edited March 2013
    (((((HUGS))))))

    How sad for her that her life is so shallow and so lacking in positive vibes that she has nothing better to say or do with her time.  Pathetic bully.  Age does not excuse.  But - good for you for turning the other cheek (I could not resist that phrase). ;)

    I have heard my share of such comments myself.  From what I see in your picture, and more importantly, what I read from your posts, you are LOVELY inside and out.

    I repeat (((((HUGS))))


    Ella
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    WTF.  Seriously, WTF.  Sometimes people have no filters.  I'm sure you'll look great in your dress and I'm amazed you kept yourself from mouthing off in front of the kid!

    For the record, I'm an angry crier as well, but mine gets mixed with shaking.  It's a lovely sight, let me tell you.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    That is beyond rude.  Kudos to you for holding it together.
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    Wow, that's awful. I'm sorry OP, I can't believe people like that exist.

    I was in the baby aisle at Target a few months ago looking for something for my nephew and was asked by someone when I was due. I totally lied and said some random month, but I wasn't feeling so hot about myself for the rest of the day.
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    what's up with the clientele of Target???
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-so-this-happened-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a711e380-6d71-4d56-b319-776dc69ab5f1Post:2f4df1e8-f4b4-4e9e-9ddc-fa3dbf03ac63">Re:NWR: So this happened today...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR: So this happened today...: Get me her address and she'll be signed up for the Soddom's Fan toy of the month club. : Nothing says "pull the rudeness stick from your butt already" like fun glow in the dark beads to replace it with! I kid, I kid. Sort of.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]


    I like this idea! :)

    You did better than I would have. Honestly, I probably would have either burst into tears right there, told her to go eff herself, or both.

     

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    What a horrible, rude, cranky woman! You look beautiful in your photos. You're going to look amazing in your dress. Do not even worry! 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-so-this-happened-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a711e380-6d71-4d56-b319-776dc69ab5f1Post:6e109768-a2f3-4f97-a696-b8df3ee2cf28">Re: NWR: So this happened today...</a>:
    [QUOTE]what's up with the clientele of Target???
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    We who have a few extra pounds need to shop at Saks.

    OP, just go on the offensive. I have a line always at the ready so I'm not caught off guard:
    "Arrest me then. Call the police.".
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    OH. My god.

    Seriously, there is no amount of restraint in the world that would have stopped me from saying something amazingly rude.

    And I REALLY like the eff word. Like. REALLY.
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    That is so horrible.  I am so sorry anyone would say that too you.  Hugs.  
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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    Hugs!! I also REALLY love using the Eff Bomb. I hope you do post pics like suggested! As for the lady... we all know Karma, and we all know what she is and what she is capable of.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    201 Invited image 139 Attending image 20 Declined image 42 Are making me wait image
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    Seriously, props to you for keeping it together and managing to say something coherent and witty.  

    Have an awesome fitting today!  Post picts here if you want honest opinions about your awesomeness.  
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    That's the thing with some seniors.  Some elderly people feel like they can say whatever they want and pull the "senior card" knowing that most people who have been raised properly will let them get away with it because of their age.  Too bad you couldn't have told her "Oh does my butt remind you that your caregiver needs to pick up another package of depends and change yours?  I think they are right down that aisle over there.  See ya!"  But no seriously, I would have been hurt as well by such rudeness.  Your FI is obviously very satisfied and cannot wait to marry you so remember that's all that matters.  I'm sure she wishes she was as young, fabulous and loved by such a man.  She's just a hater and can kick rocks!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-so-this-happened-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a711e380-6d71-4d56-b319-776dc69ab5f1Post:203a0771-6d51-4ae3-830c-ad7539b7cc88">Re:NWR: So this happened today...</a>:
    [QUOTE]For the record, I was not advocating that you SHOULD have hit her. I think your grace and self control are amazing. I wouldn't have made it to the car before crying even if I HAD lost control and cold cocked her. <strong>And I absolutely demand that you take pics at your fitting and post them so we can all tell you just how wrong she was.</strong>
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>I second this.</div>
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    That's horrible. I'm sure you'll be rocking your dress!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-so-this-happened-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a711e380-6d71-4d56-b319-776dc69ab5f1Post:203a0771-6d51-4ae3-830c-ad7539b7cc88">Re:NWR: So this happened today...</a>:
    [QUOTE]For the record, I was not advocating that you SHOULD have hit her. I think your grace and self control are amazing. I wouldn't have made it to the car before crying even if I HAD lost control and cold cocked her.<strong> And I absolutely demand that you take pics at your fitting and post them so we can all tell you just how wrong she was.</strong>
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks, but that's been cancelled. My grandmother is in ICU and they are pulling the plug once my parents and aunt and uncle arrive. Too many lemons, life. Too many damn lemons. Thanks for the love and support. I'm going to take a Xanax and sleep this horrible day off.</div>
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    edited March 2013
    I'm sorry you had someone be that nasty to you.

    Unfortunately it's common nowadays for complete strangers to comment on other people's physical features to them.  It happens to me all the time, totally uninvited.

    At least once a year, I get some random person who approaches me and starts pointing out how tall I am.  Yes, I am aware, and I've dealt with the aweful consequences of being tall and the wrong gender for it my entire life.  Nobody dated me, my back got injured because everything in the universe is below waist height, most public transportation is torture on my kneecaps, and I get the pleasure of occasionally beaning myself on low things in public.  So yes, thank you for pointing out that I'm a complete freak, and that I should be stared at.

    I did, on one occassion, get so upset, that I started cooing at the lady back about how short she was, and asked her if she was a jocky.  But that was only after she went on and on about me and basketball *shrug*.


    ETA because I missed reading about your Grandmother:  I'm so sorry you're losing her.  I lost mine just earlier this month.  I wish I could give you a hug.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

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    I am so so sorry that happened. What a horrible bitter woman. Please try to ignore it and remember it's HER issues and not YOUR body that's the problem. I am sure you will be stunning in your dress and, when you do go to get fitted, you can come on here and post pictures and we will all affirm how absolutely stunning you are.

    I'm also really sorry about your grandmother ((hugs)) and prayers for you and your family. Stay strong and get some good real hugs from your FI tonight.
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    this is totally something my great grandmother would say to someone...she made the most awful comment to me at a family function a few months back. she had asked me why i am not in school (i am 22) and i told her that i had no desire to go back to school and she sit and scoffs and goes "amybr's the smart one"...to  clarify, ambyr is my 19 year old sister (who i love) who had my nephew at 16 and graduated from high school on time and does go to college. I also did the angry crying thing and called my grandfather (it was his mom who said this) and he said that shes just a batty old woman and not to pay attention to what she says..and its true..batty old women should not be taken seriously. I stuggle daily with my self image, but even when i put on my wedding dress i feel like a million bucks...and OP you should too! your FI love you for you and you WILL look gorgeous on your  wedding day.

    Anniversary
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    I'm sorry to hear about your grandma and that mean lady that called you fat! Hang in there and know that no matter what the hag said, you're going to look amazing in that dress. Prayers for your grandma coming your way!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-so-this-happened-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a711e380-6d71-4d56-b319-776dc69ab5f1Post:85d22dcf-807c-4bb4-9ae2-d02b2374fcd5">NWR: So this happened today...</a>:
    [QUOTE]"Thank you. I'll give you a thirty second head start. You should walk away now."
    Posted by CourtaniaLynn[/QUOTE]

    I'm sorry that happened to you, but I couldn't help laughing at your response! I don't know if I would have been able to exercise self control quite as well as you did.
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