Adding +1 after STDs went out

McRogol

When we sent our Save-the-Dates one of FI's friends was casually dating a couple different gals and so we did not invite with a +1 (space limited, etc). Fast forward 3 mos and he and one of these girls are now living together.  Based on what I've read on the e-board so far, I think we need to extend a plus one to his SO.  Is this correct?  I'm a little concerned because it will take us above our limit...

lyndausvi

Yes, you do have to invite her.

STDs go out 6-9 months out.  Kind-of silly to assume your single guests will still be single during that time.    Heck DH and me met, moved in together and got engaged in that amount of time.

Note to other brides.   Always pad your guest list.   Just because your single was single when you got engaged doesn't mean they will by the time you get married.   Be prepared.

McRogol

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_adding-1-after-stds-went-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a76982e9-8322-44fc-95de-c5b055bd8990Post:61ad1e2e-9dd7-4658-b54e-ac650f658166">Re: Adding +1 after STDs went out</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Adding +1 after STDs went out : You didn't leave any breathing room? 
Posted by Sylvia Weis[/QUOTE]

<div>We left a little breathing room..But not enough I guess...5 of FI's single friends are now in exclusive relationships, 3 of those 5 now live together.  Then there were my second cousins that we were not going to invite, but then my father felt like we should invite (that was 11 more people).  So no more breathing room.  </div><div>
</div><div>Seriuosly, I wish I had lurked on this board many, many months ago because I feel foolish for not leaving us more wriggle room to account for such things.  At the time, it didn't occur to FI or I, or my parents...None of us had ever planned a wedding before.  </div><div>
</div><div>So, I need to find out GF's name and invite her specifically.  We'll just have to make it work somehow.  </div>

OliveOilsMom

Is it venue space or budget?  If its budget, cut back where you can to accomodate any new SOs since STDs went out.  If its venue, do they have a bigger room you can use?

AddieCake

Yes, you have to make it work. Cutting favors like Kristan suggested is a good idea if you need to scale back for budget. 

kerrimur

Usually you can count on 5-10% of your invited guests to reply no for some reason or another. I say invite the extra guest(s) because chances are at least 2 couples won't be able to make it to your wedding. Another option to save some $$ is instead of doing individual escort cards, print an extra large seating chart and frame it by the door to the reception room. Staples always has deals and coupons for their print center that would make this inexpensive. Craft stores like AC Moore and Michaels usually have coupons for 50% off frames in the Sunday papers.

aurianna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_adding-1-after-stds-went-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a76982e9-8322-44fc-95de-c5b055bd8990Post:5e940797-4df1-4019-9ea6-d35d98a573f1">Re: Adding +1 after STDs went out</a>:
[QUOTE]Usually you can count on 5-10% of your invited guests to reply no for some reason or another. I say invite the extra guest(s) because chances are at least 2 couples won't be able to make it to your wedding.
Posted by kerrimur[/QUOTE]

You can not rely on this.
A co-worker of mine assumed that a ton of their OOT family wouldn't come... but they ended up treating it like a family reunion and got 100% attendance.

We over-invited (bad idea). And even though the numbers worked out in the end, it was very stressful getting yeses from people we expected as nos. And really, if you're at the point where you're HOPING that your invited guests decline, there's something totally wrong with that.

Definitely assume 100% attendance.

ETA:
So assuming venue is big enough, cut favors, then flowers and/or programs.
You can also downgrade the bar you're hosting (liquor - /> beer, wine, signature drink -> beer, wine -> just beer or just wine -> wine serivce at dinner -> dry)