Poll: Accepted or Unheard of

Calypso1977

if i felt inconvenienced by a gap, id be tempted to skip the RECEPTION not the CEREMONY.  this would also save the B&G money as i could see the point of the day (the ceremony) but it wouldnt cost them a plate.

ive never in my whole life been invited to gap wedding (nor as H, also catholic).  i'm honestly not sure what id do.  if it was OOT and i had to get a hotel anyway, id attend both.  if it was local, and i could go home in between (by local, half hour drive or less) then id do both. but if it was 2 hours away?  id may decline altogether or just go to ceremomy.  i dont get a hotel if im 2 hours or less away unless im in the WP and expected to stay for the entire reception.  not worth the money.

alehayes

a) Dollar Dance-Unheard of (in my circle, anyway, but I'm sure they do happen in my area.  There are a lot of people of Polish descent in my hometown.)
b) Cash Bar-Accepted.  Dry weddings are also common.
c) Gap-Common.  H and I are actually going to a wedding in July where it looks like there will be a 2 1/2 or 3 hour gap.
d) Registry info in wedding invites-Apparently accepted (and expected).  My family kind of had a cow that we didn't include it on the invites.  And after the wedding, half the guests were like "We didn't know you were registered anywhere!"  Umm...you could have asked.  
e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match-Accepted. I've only ever gotten jewelry for the wedding as a gift.
f)  Tiered reception-Unheard of.
g) a/b lists-Unheard of (as far as I know)

lyndausvi

  If I was invited to a wedding and for someone reason I could not attend both and/or it was not convenient to go to both, I would pick the reception.  

Maybe it makes me a bad person, but my favorite part about the wedding is the celebration.  Getting to be up close and personally with the couple, watching them do their first dance, catching them giving each other a smile or a little kiss.    I feel the love way more at the reception than I ever do at the ceremony. 

 Odd I know, but I just do not get the same feeling from a ceremony. Especially if it's a church wedding.  All the other stuff (Catholic girl) gets in the way.  Plus, I'm normally far away, can't really 'see' the couple's faces.  

I've ALWAYS attended both, but if I was going to miss one of the two, it would be the ceremony.

DramaGeek

a) Dollar Dance - Heard of but not common and definitely frowned upon
b) Cash Bar - No idea, most weddings I've been to are dry and I wasn't old enough to drink at the two with a bar
c) Gap - Unheard of
d) Registry info in wedding invites - Unheard of
e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match - Common, and I hate it.  I did not do that but it's what I've gotten for every wedding i've been in.
f)  Tiered reception - Unheard of
g) a/b lists - Unheard of

sarahsaturday2701

a) Dollar Dance-tacky but I've seen it done
b) Cash Bar-really really rude, I've only been to one wedding with a cash bar, so I would say uncommon
c) Gap-pretty common, about 1/2 the weddings I've been to have had them (Catholic)
d) Registry info in wedding invites-uncommon
e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match-somewhat accepted around here but still rude IMO (unless it is given in addition to a gift "for them" and not "for the wedding"
f)  Tiered reception-never really seen this done before
g) a/b lists-If I was part of one I never knew it so uncommon

leia1979

a) Dollar Dance - unheard of prior to TK, but I've now seen it once
b) Cash Bar - sometimes. The only time this bothered me is when I had to pay $3 for a Coke. I could have had all the wine I wanted for free, but I don't like alcohol.
c) Gap - sometimes
d) Registry info in wedding invites - unheard of
e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match - common
f)  Tiered reception - unheard of
g) a/b lists - unheard of

mespence47

a) Dollar Dance - about 1/2 and 1/2 - we are not having one, even though my friends insist I should
b) Cash Bar - UNHEARD OF (well I heard of one, but the people b!tched for a long while after)
c) Gap - ALWAYS - everyone just goes to a bar or restaurant. We expect it, it's not a big deal. I sometimes go back to the hotel. It's just normal.
d) Registry info in wedding invites - unheard of
e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match - common, but I'm not
f)  Tiered reception - unheard of
g) a/b lists - unheard of, as far as I know 

JanoBean75

a) Dollar Dance - saw three: one in Milwaukee and two in Maryland

b) Cash Bar - not sure; most of the weddings I went to was when I was underage.
The few I went to as an adult (all in Maryland) were either partial-host (wine/beer) or fully hosted

c) Gap - is a store. I've never been to a wedding with a big gap. You went from the ceremony to the cocktail hour and then had dinner

d) Registry info in wedding invites - never saw this in my life and I've received invitations from Maryland (DC-Baltimore), Wisconsin, Michigan, and Florida.

e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match - only been a BM once and it was for my sister. She was very laid back -- hair, make-up, shoes, and jewelry were completely our choice. The original dress idea (we pick whatever dress and color from a particular line) didn't work for all of us, so together we found a nice dress at Nordstrom that we all loved and felt great in. She gave us jewelry from Tiffany but not to wear with the dresses.

f)  Tiered reception - heard of it through work. But never participated in one.

g) a/b lists - heard of through work, but think they're awful. I think the original idea of A list vs B list got warped somewhere. To me, when creating a list, you write your must-haves in the A column and your hope-to-haves in the B column. If you can manage your budget to include everyone from both columns, you're good. If not, you can scratch column B completely. But somewhere along the line, someone decided to simply wait for the A people to say no so they can still invite the B people. I always figured if any A people couldn't come, you don't have to pay for as many people.

srfgirlie5

a) Dollar Dance - Used to be common but slowly fading away (thank god)

b) Cash Bar - Never seen this

c) Gap - Pretty common but 50/50

d) Registry info in wedding invites - Unfortunately it's fairly common

e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match - The only wedding I've been in we were given the dress and jewelry to wear as our gift.

f)  Tiered reception - Never heard of until TK

g) a/b lists - Never heard of until TK but I didn't know this was faux pas... I think I actually read somewhere on TK that this was acceptable as long as it was done properly.

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_poll-accepted-unheard-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a7891dbf-3abd-4260-b35b-2049b7f3d007Post:c6c35829-29cd-4d2e-aeca-55a757f538e7">Re: Poll: Accepted or Unheard of</a>:
[QUOTE]a) Dollar Dance - Used to be common but slowly fading away (thank god) b) Cash Bar - Never seen this c) Gap - Pretty common but 50/50 d) Registry info in wedding invites - Unfortunately it's fairly common e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match - The only wedding I've been in we were given the dress and jewelry to wear as our gift. f)  Tiered reception - Never heard of until TK g) a/b lists - Never heard of until TK but I didn't know this was faux pas... <strong>I think I actually read somewhere on TK that this was acceptable as long as it was done properly.
</strong>Posted by srfgirlie5[/QUOTE]

Not on the Etiquette board, you didn't.

sweetcanadian1979

a) Dollar Dance never heard of
b) Cash Bar most common in our area, open bars are uncommon, people bring money expecting to pay but usually only a couple dollars per
c) Gap quite common if it is a church wedding, most receptions start in the late afternoon and most churches around here have evening services and will not let you do later than 3 usually 
d) Registry info in wedding invites never heard of but i have seen presentation only
e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match  no clue, mine will not be getting any part of their "gift" as part of the attire
f)  Tiered reception never heard of either
g) a/b lists never heard of this either, at least not that invites have gone out later, i thought people made them and if they found they were under budget they would invite some from the b list when they sent out a list. 

mbatzlaff

a) Dollar Dance: common
b) Cash Bar: accepted, but prefer limited or open
c) Gap: accepted, super annoying
d) Registry info in wedding invites: accepted...i wish it were unheard of
e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match: common
f) Tiered reception: unheard of
g) a/b lists: unheard of

jess9802

In my circle:

a) Dollar Dance Unheard of
b) Cash Bar Fine line between accepted and common. At least a couple of weddings I've been to have had cash bars; some were hosted beer and wine only. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding with a full open bar.
c) Gap Unheard of
d) Registry info in wedding invites Again, fine line between accepted and common. I have heard people say they appreciate getting the registry information in their invitations.
e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match Accepted. Both times I've been a bridesmaid this has been the case.
f)  Tiered reception Unheard of.
g) a/b lists Unheard of.

bluedaisy2001

Where I'm from :
a) Dollar Dance Never heard of this before The Knot
b) Cash Bar Most weddings I've been to have been cash bars with just soda and whine free.  I've only been to a couple with hosted bars and we really had to search to find a venue that would allow us to host the bar, most were very reluctant and really pushed a cash bar.
d) Registry info in wedding invites Sometimes I've seen it but not very often
e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match Accepted, not going to happen at my wedding but a lot of brides do it.
g) a/b lists Unheard of.

luualita

a) Dollar Dance - My parents generation and before did as part of our cultural heritage. Pinning money to the bride's dress was meant to bring good fortune to the couple. Some people do it from  a money grabby place, but most do it from an honest one.

b) Cash Bar - Most I've been to have been semi-cash bars. I honestly thought they were normal.

c) Gap - Not unreasonably long.

d) Registry info in wedding invites - None one does this that I've ever seen.

e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match - I have no idea.

f)  Tiered reception - I had no idea people did this and seriously... wtf?

g) a/b lists - Yeah.. had never heard of this before.

Kreskin79

a) Dollar Dance - unheard of around here - only know of it via TK

b) Cash Bar - not even really an option around here - all the caterers/venues I've ever heard of include full bar all night, plus a champagne toast

c) Gap - there's a fair number of Catholics in the area, so it's pretty usual. My own wedding will come complete with gap, but all of our guests see it as the price of doing business, as it were.

d) Registry info in wedding invites - I haven't seen it very often myself - maybe once?

e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match - not aware of how often this happens in my neck of the woods

f)  Tiered reception - I have no idea what this is....

g) a/b lists - I think it'd be naive to think it's not done.  That said, it seems to be done quietly, at least.

naomikb

a) Dollar Dance    unheard of
b) Cash Bar    unheard of or extremely rare
c) Gap    common - almost always
d) Registry info in wedding invites    unheard of
e) Bridesmaids "gift" part of their attire to match    accepted but I would say uncommon
f)  Tiered reception    unheard of
g) a/b lists    accepted, or at least I know people who have done it.