Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

Wedding peeves

1235»

Re: Wedding peeves

  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:c3a61744-81a4-49ea-9aaf-efd313ffc1bb">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]Making a scene out of trying to pull single ladies up to participate in the bouquet toss. The DJ made the announcement; if someone is single and hasn't gone up, they don't want to. End of story.
    Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

    I agree.  FI and I went to his cousin's wedding in October.  When the DJ called the single ladies up for the bouquet toss, FI's uncle started harassing me about why I wasn't going up.  I thought he was joking so I just laughed.  But he seriously kept insisting I go up there.  I was like, "I'm engaged!  I have a ring on my finger and a wedding date set!"  His response, "Yeah, but you're not married yet."  It was bizarre.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    How about just getting a thank you card from a wedding I attended LAST May because they passed it off through family instead of just buying a damn stamp. I also almost missed the RSVP date for the wedding because of similarly passing the invite off through family members. Grrr!

     

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Options
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:bd60bf65-7e61-4ce2-9ba1-c098952e2d15">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : 1.  Tuxedos are men's semi-formal evening wear.  That means after 6:00 PM.  Tuxedos were not considered formal enough for a wedding until the 1960s.  They are not "wedding costumes", but they are fine for evening weddings.  They should be BLACK! A true formal evening wedding features men wearin white tie and tail coats.  This is almost never done today in the USA.  Daytime formalwear is a cutaway tail coat and striped trousers.  A suit is always appropriate at any time of day. 2.  If it is appropriate, someone else will have thought of it and done it already.  "Unique" means that nobody has ever done it before.  There is no such thing as "very unique" or "rather unique".  Something is either unique, or it isn't.  Unique does NOT mean unusual.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    ETA: Tiffany gifts just for the name.  Tiffany used to be known as a high quality store. No longer, I'm afraid for the reason antibride uses. also, DD received 13 sets of crystal tiffany candlesticks and a crystal ice bucket from there with their wedding invitation engraved

    There is not a wedding in this country to qualify as "white tie".  White ties is reserved solely for state events and debutante balls.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:8956a1bb-ec22-4217-974b-d7ec8db5d7b2">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : ETA: Tiffany gifts just for the name.  Tiffany used to be known as a high quality store. No longer, I'm afraid for the reason antibride uses. also, DD received 13 sets of crystal tiffany candlesticks and a crystal ice bucket from there with their wedding invitation engraved There is not a wedding in this country to qualify as "white tie".  White ties is reserved solely for state events and debutante balls.
    Posted by ootmother3[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with all of this.  I'm sort of terrified I'm going to end up with that many candlestick holders or picture frames.  FI and I will buy the stuff on our registry if we don't get it - and we will probably donate or return the off registry items we do get - so it's frustrating when guests are trying to get me excited about the "awesome" idea they have for our wedding gift.  I actually really hate surprises - that's another reason we regsitered.  Of course I am grateful for the thought, but I'm frustrated that they think they know me better than I know me.  I have one friend who announced she will be getting me a le creuset baking dish.  That's very nice - I love le creuset, and she knows I do.  But guess what?  I have the exact. same. dish. already.  That's why I didn't register for it.  So she will send it to me, I will return it to BBB or Macy's for store credit, and I will take a picture of the next thing I bake in the one I already own and send it to her.  That entire process is ridiculous.  That said, it's much better than something that I can't return at all.</div><div>
    </div><div>Antibride, I know you are anti all things wedding, but most people do register for a reason.  And as for the friends that keep your gifts on the mantle?  Guess where I put the gifts I haul out of the closet when "that friend" comes over to visit?  Yep - front and center.  Then we ooh and ahh over it, and it goes back in the closet as soon as they leave.</div><div>
    </div><div>Probably my number one pet peeve when it comes to weddings are late thank yous.  I was raised with the two week rule for all gifts, and my mother would not let me play with gifts that people had given me as a child until I wrote a thank you note to them first.  We sort of have a family tradition on Christmas to write thank you notes to relatives while we watch a movie on Christmas night - that way we can enjoy their gifts the day after. Because I hate late thank yous, I also sort of hate the picture thank you notes.  In theory they are cute - but not cute enough to make up for a 2 month delay before the writing even begins while you are waiting for them to come back from the photographer.  Save the wedding photo for the holiday cards.  I've read posters on here who never received a thank you at all, and that appalls me.  I guess I need to feel lucky that that hasn't happened to me yet - so far it's just been really long delays.  I think the longest I have waited has been 5 months.</div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    antibride, if a couple DID register at Tiffany's for a frame, would you still buy them one? Or would you find something else just so you could stick to your no registry rule? 

    I'm BAFFLED by that, and I'm someone who has bought off-registry before (but always included a gift slip). If you've been burned that many times by peoe who have returned all of their gifts for cash (which I don't even think is possible), then you need new friends. 

    Every time you post it's about how much you hate this entire thing. I understand you're sucking it up for FI, but if you really truly hate the wedding process so much, maybe you should have a talk with him. It sounds like you're going to be miserable on your wedding day, because you sound miserable now. 

    /rant. 

    My Pet Peeves:

    WP dance. Awkward for them, boring for guests.

    Terrible or overly long toasts. If you get nervous in front of a crowd, that's one thing, but I don't want to hear 10 minutes of insde jokes I don't understand. 

    That "wedding" adds $$$ to things. Regular updo? $50. WEDDING updo? $70. WTF is that about? 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    I'm still too early in the process for this to actually be a problem, but I can foresee it becoming one:  People going off-registry for any decor related item.
    I'm insanely picky when it comes to decor, it took me 3 months to re-do my bedroom, and I already had the bedroom set I'll be keeping forever and ever (it's an heirloom, I remember it in my great grandma's house, and my mom had it for years before she passed it on).  Everything in my bedroom was chosen with care and a great deal of thought, so for someone to assume that they know what I want/need better than I myself do seems rude.
    I also hate anything personalized.
    And, I'm the reason we can't have nice things.  A former boss gave me a beautiful Coach purse that she chose based on personal information and plenty of foresight.  It would have been perfect, except that the label terrified me so much I never took it out of the box.  I ended up selling it, even though it was a thoughtful, generous gift.

    Other pet peeves include: Not enough food or seating.  This one from bygone days- no plus one if I didn't know anyone else or was the only single, also not being invited with FI (haven't had many invitations since we've been engaged, so hopefully not a problem).  Pretty much everything that is against etiquette.

    Also, I love the chicken dance.  FI and I have definitely discussed this being our first dance, in the way where I'm pretty sure he's joking, and I think I'm joking too but a tiny part of me wants it so bad.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:6b3c63d1-68ba-4bd4-b55f-26a4f76abe52">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm still too early in the process for this to actually be a problem, but I can foresee it becoming one:  People going off-registry for any decor related item. I'm insanely picky when it comes to decor, it took me 3 months to re-do my bedroom, and I already had the bedroom set I'll be keeping forever and ever (it's an heirloom, I remember it in my great grandma's house, and my mom had it for years before she passed it on).  Everything in my bedroom was chosen with care and a great deal of thought, so for someone to assume that they know what I want/need better than I myself do seems rude. I also hate anything personalized. And, I'm the reason we can't have nice things.  A former boss gave me a beautiful Coach purse that she chose based on personal information and plenty of foresight.  It would have been perfect, except that the label terrified me so much I never took it out of the box.  I ended up selling it, even though it was a thoughtful, generous gift. Other pet peeves include: Not enough food or seating.  This one from bygone days- no plus one if I didn't know anyone else or was the only single, also not being invited with FI (haven't had many invitations since we've been engaged, so hopefully not a problem).  Pretty much everything that is against etiquette. <strong>Also, I love the chicken dance.  FI and I have definitely discussed this being our first dance, in the way where I'm pretty sure he's joking, and I think I'm joking too but a tiny part of me wants it so bad.</strong>
    Posted by dtbluv[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>FI and I did this with The Monster Mash. We've been engaged for almost a year and STILL can't decide on a song and as the day looms that might actually happen because it's the only thing we even sort of almost agree on. 

    </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    My biggest wedding peeve is no thank you for a gift. I went to a wedding where I picked out a gift I thought the bride would really like not on her registry (everything on her registry I either couldn't afford or was really, really cheap like a shower curtain....I didn't want to be the lame guest who only bought a shower curtain). I've heard from mutual friends that she likes it, but she never said thank you and I never received a thank you card. Makes me a little sad actually :(
  • Options
    Most of the wedding guest peeves have been covered, but I'd like to add a couple from the perspective of the bride. 

    I think this might have been mentioned but people assuming and telling you that you'll be a crazed loon with the planning process. My FI and I are planning for and planning to pay for our entire wedding. I'm not depending on anyone else for anything so if/when things go wrong, it'll be no one's fault but my own. I'm pretty laid back but can get kind of crazy so I am planning a small, uncomplicated wedding. So far, I am enjoying the process and am super calm and happy with it. 

    Also, people telling you what you want for your wedding. I never bring up details of our wedding, but if someone asks, I tell them about the DIY stuff I'm planning - including paper flowers. EVERY SINGLE EFFING TIME they tell me that I really want to have real flowers. EVERY SINGLE EFFING TIME I explain that FI and I want an outdoor ceremony and my mother, my stepfather and myself are allergic to bees and don't want any reason to attract them. My mom is literally 1 in 5 million people who is this allergic and if she's stung, we have minutes to get 2 epi-pens into her and 20 to get her to a hospital. Even then, she only has a 50/50 chance. Even after hearing this, people tell me how much nicer real flowers are. Yes, because I'd much rather spend crazy amounts of money for something that may or may not look nicer and have to worry about my mother dying on my wedding day...
  • Options
    reppunzelreppunzel member
    First Comment
    edited February 2013
    OK, here goes:

    1.  This is a weird, small thing but I just don't like it!  Around here it seems to common to have the officiant invite the ceremony guests to the reception after the recessional.  To me it's a thoroughly anticlimactic moment: you have a lovely ceremony, the triumphant walk out, the wedding party leaves in carefully choreographed pairs ... and then, "uh, y'all come get some food and we's gonna have us a good time!" ... huh?  OK, so it's never been quite that bad, but even when the part is thoughtfully and eloquently delivered, it just rubs me the wrong way.  We're adults, who presumably can read, because we gathered enough information off of the invitation to wind up at the right place at the right time for the ceremony, so why assume we couldn't read the "reception following" line?  It's not a terrible thing, just awkward and dampens the moment.  I'm anticipating a bit of a battle NOT to have that done at our wedding.  Which brings me to number 2:

    2.  Having a firm decision or a clearly indicated preference labeled as a "bridezilla" moment.  I'm usually quite laid-back, and I'm accomodating (a bit too much of a people-pleaser, actually), but I do have likes / dislikes, and I can be quietly immovable when something is really important to me.  Just because I prefer to pick my battles, doesn't mean I will be your doormat / yes girl, whether wedding-related or not.  I think what really bugs me is that the "bridezilla" comment -- even if said laughingly -- in response to my saying "no" (nicely and with due appreciation for the thought, etc.) is an attempt at manipulation / emotional blackmail.  Um ... no.

    3.  Anything with the ball-and-chain / nagging bride / bride dragging off reluctant groom theme.  Some people may find it funny, and I don't "judge" people who like/use that sort of cake topper or whatever, but you better believe there's not going to be anything of that sort within 10 yards of our reception!  It's not funny or cute to me, it's insulting to the man I love and deeply respect.

    4.  The address-your-own-thank-you-card deal at a shower.  The first time I saw this, they framed it as "so the bride doesn't have to bother writing all that out when she does her thank you notes."  Seriously?  Because three short lines is so arduous?  I don't even mind a printed label.  But to, in essence, tell invited guests that they're being a nuisance to the bride by buying and bringing her gifts is just in poor taste.

    I do realize that the bride may not have had any control over this and I wasn't unhappy with her, personally, but it's an icky trend that unfortunately seems to be catching on.  When my MOH asked what my preferences were for my shower, that was my only stipulation "pleasepleaseplease don't do this!"
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:45dba445-f816-4a34-8ffd-7d73c199116f">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh and today a coworker asked me if I was excited about "the big day."  I was like, "well we don't have any valentine's plans."  He was like, "I'm talking about your wedding."  Oops.
    Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]
    Ugh, or people who you're only acquaintances with saying "how's the wedding planning going?" None of your business, that's what.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:a0a54244-5ada-4a8d-8e00-9e174dda356c">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : When I was a PA, I wasn't even good enough to hang out. <strong>I was only good enough to drop off their bouquets and be sent off with a little sandwich so I could set up the ceremony and reception sites.</strong> I wasn't invited to the rehearsal dinner, either - even though I had traveled 6 hours to attend the wedding. I know some people don't like the role of usher, either. I guess personal attendant for a girl is usher for a guy. Not good enough to be in the party.
    Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm not being snarky, I'm honestly curious...WHY did you do this??</div>
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:5158ed49-6bd2-4c15-922d-9f4127f0db3f">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : I did both of them too :) Do you have pics? It was mostly bridal stores that thought I shouldn't wear a tea-length dress, and my mom thought my shoes were silly, but after trying on "bridal shoes" for her, she really liked my blue ones better. It all turned out well in the end, but unsolicited comments like that can be annoying.
    Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]

    I do of me and my dress, not sure I have any of the blue shoes though. My photog took one, but she made it black/white.  But, I'm ashamed to admit, I don't know how to load pics into a post. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" />

     

  • Options
    harper0813harper0813 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited February 2013
    <div>I first wanted to say to reppunzel - I, too, hate how easily other people call a bride a "bridezilla". My mom and dad have totally abused this term. When coming up with a guest list, THEY came up with a rule where we'd split the list into thirds - one third for them, one third for the groom and me, and one third for the groom's parents. My parents went over their limit by 10 people, excluded my cousins' SO and became absolutely livid when I asked them to cut back their list and add SOs. I turned into a bridezilla because I asked them to cut back so that we wouldn't have to cut out friends, and because I told them I would not go over the venue's capacity. I've also been called a bridezilla when asking (just asking!) why my absent godmother needs a corsage, when answering that no, I would not be doing a garter toss, and when saying that, no, I don't need help putting together save the dates (?!). So frustrating! I wish "bridezilla" weren't a word.</div><div>
    </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:4be82921-d30a-4387-9666-f2c0488facc2">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : I'm not being snarky, I'm honestly curious...WHY did you do this??
    Posted by katye1489[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>That's a great question - I wonder the same thing. The bride originally sold it as "I'm only having my sisters and SIL in my wedding party, so will you be my personal attendant? I'd love for you to be part of my wedding day," and I thought, well, sure! In the end, it turned out she did have friends as bridesmaids and that her idea of "being a part of her wedding day" was being invited to both of her showers (one was out of state and she was audibly upset when I was only able to attend the one near me), not being invited to the rehearsal dinner (although every extended family member attending their wedding was), running errands for her on the day of, and being ignored by her the rest of the day. But I <em>did</em> get half a sandwich, a little necklace and a wilty corsage out of it. And, honestly, she ignored me until my now-fiance and I got engaged. I've been thinking of ways of passive-aggressively exacting revenge (which I will not do... don't worry!).</div><div>
    </div><div>Whew. Rant over!</div><div>
    </div>
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:8241b67c-6dce-482a-9b94-2ca13b7e9ee9">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]I first wanted to say to reppunzel - I, too, hate how easily other people call a bride a "bridezilla". My mom and dad have totally abused this term. When coming up with a guest list, THEY came up with a rule where we'd split the list into thirds - one third for them, one third for the groom and me, and one third for the groom's parents. My parents went over their limit by 10 people, excluded my cousins' SO and became absolutely livid when I asked them to cut back their list and add SOs. I turned into a bridezilla because I asked them to cut back so that we wouldn't have to cut out friends, and because I told them I would not go over the venue's capacity. I've also been called a bridezilla when asking (just asking!) why my absent godmother needs a corsage, when answering that no, I would not be doing a garter toss, and when saying that, no, I don't need help putting together save the dates (?!). So frustrating! I wish "bridezilla" weren't a word.
    Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

    People just like to throw out the word for no reason even if the bride isn't acting like a bridezilla.
  • Options
    I was at a wedding a few years ago where only the wedding party got champagne and cake.  The guests got water/soda and no dessert.  Also, DH was in the wedding party and sat at the table and I was seated at a table where I knew no one.  Good times.
    Anniversary
  • Options
    I'll share my wedding peeves but I want to say that these are things I generally keep to myself, I'm not a big complainer about other people's weddings- I mean not out loud- but of course I do have things that do bug me! Oh yes I do! Why not indulge them here? :)

    -I have always hated, as others have said in this thread, the it's-all-about-the-bride mentality that you always see on wedding reality TV shows. She hates the groom, she's infuriated with him because he doesn't understand that she needs those super expensive super pink centrepieces because it's her day and she's a princess! It's like they forget the whole reason for the wedding in the first place, or that they are marrying EACH OTHER not just a day for her but a day for both of them. But honestly, I haven't encountered this in 'real life' only on TV. :)

    - Stag and Does are so so tacky to me. Where I live they are pretty common, and most people aren't even aware that some people find them rude at all. I probably wouldn't have realized how rude they were myself if I hadn't found websites like this that have lots of etiquette info. from different regions. My brother suggested to me that we are not being financially savvy to not have one. I always go to them when I'm invited to support the couple since they are my family or close friends- but I would never, ever, have one.

    -When a friend who is also engaged tells you every single little itty bitty detail of her wedding, which would be no problem- except she never asks you a single question about your wedding. So while you know the price to the penny of her centrepieces and the middle name of her bartender, she doesn't even know what town your wedding venue is in. And she's getting married 9 months after you. So you will be dealing with this all the way until your wedding- and for ages afterward too.

    -When you are a bridesmaid and the bride tells you that you and all the bridesmaids are going to get together to make the invitations together and it will be fun! If you asked me, I would have been happy to help. Since you just told me, I secretly rolled my eyes. But yes, I'll be there and I'll bring the gluestick.

    - When you are a bridesmaid and you are required to stay overnight for more than one night in order to meet the bride's requests for all of the wedding-related festivities.

    -When you are a bridesmaid and the bride completely ignores you throughout the whole wedding. 

    -To be honest, I'm pretty over the whole 'bridal shower' tradition. I know it's cute and girly and they can be really nice and special, but it's such a gift grab to throw a party that's all about showering the bride-to-be with gifts. But maybe I just feel that way because I'm not having one so I'm secretly jealous of those who do. Who knows? lol

    -Being invited to a wedding related party- shower, bachelorette party, or other celebration when you are not invited to the wedding. That's just wrong!

    -Being invited to a wedding but not being allowed to bring a date. Especially when you're in a relationship. 

    -Cash bars. Or drink tickets.

    - Seating the bridal party in 'stage' type seating where they are elevated and face everyone. Especially when their dates and signifcant others aren't seated with them. This happens, I know, and yes I've been seated this way before and I never let on but secretly, I thought to myself that it was a pretty lame tradition.

    -Personally, I hate garter tosses, bouquet tosses, smushing the cake in each others face, and all of those cheesy traditions. Knock yourself out if you're doing it, but it's not my thing at all.

    -When the couple gets their photos done for so long after the ceremony that all of the guests are waiting...and WAITING....a long time before the reception. Or when they are a a really far drive apart.

    -Buffet weddings. It's funny because most people I know love and prefer buffets (so please don't feel offended if you are having one, there is nothing wrong with them!) but personally I'm not a fan. I love relaxing at the table with plated service and not having to wait for my table to be called to go wait in line and figure out what I want. I know, it's just me- I haven't met anyone who agrees with me on this one. 

    -Overly posed wedding photography. I like the more modern, fun shots with lots of unique natural shots- or at least pretending not to be posed.

    -Being seated at a table where you don't know anyone when your best friend is at table 4, and your sister is at table 5.... okay now I know as a bride this is just the way it goes. Seating charts are hard and you can't please everyone. But it kind of sucks when you go to a wedding where you only know 2 people so you assume you'll be seated together- and you're not. Note: when this has happened to me I had a great time anyway and made new friends, so really shouldn't complain...but I remember that sinking feeling in my stomach when I checked the seating chart and was like "Oh...okay..."

    -Cheap bridesmaid gifts. Oh I know I'm horrible. Seriously I'm a terrible, terrible person. And I'm so embarrassed to admit this- but I remember the feeling of getting a gift-basket of dollar-store items from a good friend of mine and feeling a little disappointed. Isn't that horrible of me? I know, go ahead and judge me- but I had to admit to this one.

    -When a bride does something she thinks is so unique and original, but it's actually quite common- and then throws a fit when her friend or sister plans to do the same thing. "But that was MY thing!"

    -When you're getting married and people keep telling you how great other people's weddings were. "I got your save-the-date! Thanks! Oh I should show you my friend Dan's save-the-date- it's super cool, you have to see it!" Um, okay! "You're doing cupcakes? Oh my friend Jen did an ice cream buffet, it was the best!"

    -Cheap, cheesy favours. (I know! Again! I'm horrible!) anything that looks super low-quality and you know you'll never use. 

    I think I'll end it there. :)







    "It's always better when we're together." -Jack Johnson
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:21960c94-1420-4308-99fc-e6963ec7ef45">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : I agree with all of this.  I'm sort of terrified I'm going to end up with that many candlestick holders or picture frames.  FI and I will buy the stuff on our registry if we don't get it - and we will probably donate or return the off registry items we do get - so it's frustrating when guests are trying to get me excited about the "awesome" idea they have for our wedding gift.  I actually really hate surprises - that's another reason we regsitered.  Of course I am grateful for the thought, but I'm frustrated that they think they know me better than I know me.  I have one friend who announced she will be getting me a le creuset baking dish.  That's very nice - I love le creuset, and she knows I do.  But guess what?  I have the exact. same. dish. already.  That's why I didn't register for it.  So she will send it to me, I will return it to BBB or Macy's for store credit, and I will take a picture of the next thing I bake in the one I already own and send it to her.  That entire process is ridiculous.  That said, it's much better than something that I can't return at all. Antibride, I know you are anti all things wedding, but most people do register for a reason.  And as for the friends that keep your gifts on the mantle?  Guess where I put the gifts I haul out of the closet when "that friend" comes over to visit?  Yep - front and center.  Then we ooh and ahh over it, and it goes back in the closet as soon as they leave. Probably my number one pet peeve when it comes to weddings are late thank yous.  I was raised with the two week rule for all gifts, and my mother would not let me play with gifts that people had given me as a child until I wrote a thank you note to them first.  We sort of have a family tradition on Christmas to write thank you notes to relatives while we watch a movie on Christmas night - that way we can enjoy their gifts the day after. Because I hate late thank yous, <strong>I also sort of hate the picture thank you notes.</strong>  In theory they are cute - but not cute enough to make up for a 2 month delay before the writing even begins while you are waiting for them to come back from the photographer.  Save the wedding photo for the holiday cards.  I've read posters on here who never received a thank you at all, and that appalls me.  I guess I need to feel lucky that that hasn't happened to me yet - so far it's just been really long delays.  I think the longest I have waited has been 5 months.
    Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]
    I fully agree.  I got one from a friend within 1 month of her wedding.  OK - fine.  No complaints, it was super cute and I got the TY note timely.  My cousin...6 months.  There's a problem there.  If they can't be delivered to all within 2 months, it's a no go.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:122318f4-2072-4243-b0c1-569ca7f221bb">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]4.  The address-your-own-thank-you-card deal at a shower.  The first time I saw this, they framed it as "so the bride doesn't have to bother writing all that out when she does her thank you notes."  Seriously?  Because three short lines is so arduous?  I don't even mind a printed label.  But to, in essence, tell invited guests that they're being a nuisance to the bride by buying and bringing her gifts is just in poor taste. I do realize that the bride may not have had any control over this and I wasn't unhappy with her, personally, but it's an icky trend that unfortunately seems to be catching on.  When my MOH asked what my preferences were for my shower, that was my only stipulation "pleasepleaseplease don't do this!"
    Posted by reppunzel[/QUOTE]
    My MOH asked me about this too for my shower!  I had never heard of it before.  She phrased it as "do you have everyone's addresses or should we do this so you don't need to worry about gathering them?".  And I was like I have everyone's addresses...they all are invited to the wedding, duh?
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:005bdd10-1ff7-4b9a-8de4-2a0dff48e1a5">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]-To be honest, I'm pretty over the whole 'bridal shower' tradition. I know it's cute and girly and they can be really nice and special, but it's such a gift grab to throw a party that's all about showering the bride-to-be with gifts. But maybe I just feel that way because I'm not having one so I'm secretly jealous of those who do. Who knows? lol

    <em>I 100% agree.  I really didn't want one, but didn't have a choice with mine.  Either my Mom threw it for me and I went along with it or she threw it as a surprise shower (she was upset to begin with that I focered her into telling me the date/location).</em>

    -Buffet weddings. It's funny because most people I know love and prefer buffets (so please don't feel offended if you are having one, there is nothing wrong with them!) but personally I'm not a fan. I love relaxing at the table with plated service and not having to wait for my table to be called to go wait in line and figure out what I want. I know, it's just me- I haven't met anyone who agrees with me on this one.
    <em>
    I fully agree!</em>  <em>Where I'm from, plated meals are much more common than buffets and the only buffet weddings I've attended have been horrible. 

    </em>Posted by yellowdaisies84[/QUOTE]
  • Options

    I want to play!

    Stag and Does drive me batty.  They're fairly common where I grew up and I still get invites when friends or family are getting married.  I've never said a word against them, except to FI, but I've always delcined to attend them or buy tickets.  Worse is when you're asked to buy tickets from an acquiantance or co-worker for a couple you don't even know.  Bad enough asking me to help fund a friend or relative's wedding, but a complete stranger?  Ugh.  Pay for your own fricking wedding!

    Not sending Thank You notes.  I was a BM in the last wedding I attended and FI and I gave fairly generous gift because I count the Bride as one of my best friends, but it irks a little that I never received a thank you card.  I've never said anything and never will and just hope that it actually got lost in the mail.

    Thinking about that same wedding, the B&G both had cake, but no one else was served cake.  I found out from FI later (I was seated at the head table and he, at least, was seated with a few friends) that it was a cash bar and only the WP got free drinks.  Felt so bad for him.

  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:2d8d44fc-cc02-484f-a21a-01bee9ef6926">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : YES!  I only recently saw the "put the garter on the girl who catches the bouquet" thing.  SO weird!!! 
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]


    Eww, thankfully I've never seen this done!  The garter thing, yes, but never putting it on the bouquet catcher. 

    image
  • Options
    I can get over pretty much any common peeve, because what it boils down to is I was invited to celebrate someones elses special day, and now that Im going to have my day, I can make sure to NOT do things that I know personally irritated me in the past. Such as:

    -Save the Dates/Invitations that are hand addressed by someone who has AWFUL handwriting. I got one once where the person didn't even bother to use a decent pen or use cursive (normal, block caps, like she writes every day). I know calligraphers are expensive, but really. You don't know anyone with NICE handwriting or with a printer? IMO it shows poor planning and that really you just don't care. Sure enough, the wedding itself was a thrown together, no attention to detail, sloppy affair. 

    -Longwinded speeches.
    As heartfelt as they may be, few people actually know your MOH and even fewer want to listen to her ramble on for 10 minuets about that crazy spring break where you met. Give your speech givers a time limit, please. 


  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:80f2823a-72a4-4baf-b4e0-ce2ce9a9a280">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : Eww, thankfully I've never seen this done!  The garter thing, yes, but never putting it on the bouquet catcher. 
    Posted by lwoehlk[/QUOTE]

    Must be a regional thing (and also a generational thing). Until the last few years, they did this at every wedding I had been to. I think it was popular, but is being phased out in this area (I live in NJ). I don't plan on doing any kind of tosses at my wedding.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:3f4a7360-82a6-4f51-9cc3-81f5c2538574">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to  Re: Wedding peeves : This is super judgy. Ew. I am hand addressing my STDs and my handwriting is nice, but not amazing. I'm probably going to print the names and addresses because I haven't used script since graduating from high school.  And yes, I do know people with "nice" handwriting, but I'm not going to ask anyone else to address 100 STDs for me. I'm also not going to invite myself over to anyone's house to use their printer. Seriously, who acts like this? We might splurge for a  calligrapher for the actual invites, but I'm not willing to spend that money on the STDs. I'd rather put it towards the money towards hosting my guests at the reception. Apparently this shows poor planning and that I don't care? Good to know.  And who the hell gives the people making a speech a time limit? "Hey best friend, I'm really touched that you're making a speech to honor me and my FI on our wedding, but people don't really care what you have to say, so keep it snappy!" Rude. 
    Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]

    I'm glad you wrote this. I just sent out a couple save-the-dates to work people I didn't originally include. I didn't want to run off a sheet of labels for 2 people so I just handwrote them. Then I saw the original post on this and was like uh oh.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:3f4a7360-82a6-4f51-9cc3-81f5c2538574">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to  Re: Wedding peeves : This is super judgy. Ew. I am hand addressing my STDs and my handwriting is nice, but not amazing. I'm probably going to print the names and addresses because I haven't used script since graduating from high school.  And yes, I do know people with "nice" handwriting, but I'm not going to ask anyone else to address 100 STDs for me. I'm also not going to invite myself over to anyone's house to use their printer. Seriously, who acts like this? We might splurge for a  calligrapher for the actual invites, but I'm not willing to spend that money on the STDs. I'd rather put it towards the money towards hosting my guests at the reception. Apparently this shows poor planning and that I don't care? Good to know.  And who the hell gives the people making a speech a time limit? "Hey best friend, I'm really touched that you're making a speech to honor me and my FI on our wedding, but people don't really care what you have to say, so keep it snappy!" Rude. 
    Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]



    I agree. I hand addressed my STDs and Invites. I have nice handwriting, but who really gives a sh*t what the writing on the envelope looks like. It gets tossed three seconds after it's delivered... If the actual invite is scribbled on a piece of notebook paper, then yeah, that's a little more to complain about.
    photo a826c490-726a-4824-af5c-d938878de228_zpseb85bb5a.jpg
  • Options
    wittykitty14wittykitty14 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    Just a few... (I know some have been said)

    #1-When people assume they're invited to your wedding.  Cutting the guest list is HARD.  I've had people say to me, "I better be invited!", and when I know they're not, I feel bad (especially if we had a hard time deciding not to include them)

    #2-My cousins wedding a while back was a "no children" deal.  I was probably about 15-16 then, and was allowed to go-I think they just didn't want any small children, which was fine, their choice.  My brother busted his butt trying to find someone to watch his 3 sons.  During the reception, there were TONS of kids running around.  My brother was not pleased.  If you're going to make it adults only, make sure that goes for everyone.

    #3-Again, when somebody tries to force you into a decision that is rude.  My mom wants us to NOT include stamps on the RSVPs just to save money!  I flat out told her that it was really rude, and that there's no way that's happening. I have so many examples, but that's the best one.

    #4-When people ask me about the wedding, and then go on and on about how expensive weddings are.  I'm aware, thanks.

    Those are my big ones :)
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards