Wedding Etiquette Forum

reception party only invites????

Is it ok to invite people to the reception party (after dinner) who aren't invited to wedding and dinner???

We're on a tight budget and have some of those random friends who would be fun, but not really close enough to have at our wedding.

Re: reception party only invites????

  • No.
    And if you do that anyway, most of those people won't come because they feel that are only being invited to bring a gift.
    A friend of mine did this, and expected 50 people.
    Got nine.  Yeah.  N I N E.
  • It's an all or nothing event. It sounds good on paper, but in reality, it is very rude to those invited to just "dance." A wedding is one event.

    Plus, what happens when dinner runs late? Those people watch others eat? Or wait outside in their cars? Nope.

    Almost as bad as being invited to the ceremony only. That happened once to me, word of mouth invite and I haven't talked to the couple since.
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  • Those friends should just not be invited. Tiered receptions are rude, and often can lead to hurt feelings (it's common when you assign a time, such as 5pm for dinner and 7pm for the dance/party section, that dinner will run long and your friends will be caught waiting in the hallway, listening to speeches and people enjoying dinner. I speak from experience, this isn't very fun to experience). If you want to host them later at a BBQ for friends you couldn't accomodate at the wedding, this would be better.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-party-only-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9967fb1-8a49-4abd-a513-d347e0965f33Post:44674b1d-7ee8-4ad4-be48-349df8be9f1b">Re: reception party only invites????</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's an all or nothing event. It sounds good on paper, but in reality, it is very rude to those invited to just "dance." A wedding is one event. Plus, what happens when dinner runs late? Those people watch others eat? Or wait outside in their cars? Nope. <strong>Almost as bad as being invited to the ceremony only. That happened once to me, word of mouth invite and I haven't talked to the couple since.</strong>
    Posted by Nickivegan[/QUOTE]

    <div>Apparently this is accepted in some circles/regions for members of the church in which the wedding is taking place. FMIL is demanding that members of her church have a blerb in the bulletin and they will know not to come to the reception if they don't get a formal invitation individually or obviously if their is no mention of a reception in the bulletin. </div><div>
    </div><div>I think this is weird, but whatever...</div>
    April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker Bio-Updated 4/22**
  • If they aren't close enough to be invited to the wedding, then do not invite them just to dance.  Tiered receptions such as what you describe are poor etiquette.  Why not just throw a non-wedding related party or go out with these friends a few weeks later?  Just don't connect it at all to the wedding.
  • If they're not close enough to invite to the ceremony, then they're not close enough to be invited to the reception. 
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-party-only-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9967fb1-8a49-4abd-a513-d347e0965f33Post:6a59d760-4e16-4afd-bd6c-1653070eb278">Re: reception party only invites????</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: reception party only invites???? : Apparently this is accepted in some circles/regions for members of the church in which the wedding is taking place. FMIL is demanding that members of her church have a blerb in the bulletin and they will know not to come to the reception if they don't get a formal invitation individually or obviously if their is no mention of a reception in the bulletin.  I think this is weird, but whatever...
    Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

    This is not common in my region, but it is common at these certain churches in my area. My friend got married in one, and when I started planning my wedding, he asked, "So are you keeping the ceremony private?"

    I was like, "Um, what?!"

    He said his pastor made an annoucement about the wedding the Sunday before so that people who weren't formally invited could still attend the ceremony. So anyone could just come and watch them get married. I didn't want to be rude to my friend, but WTF would someone WANT to go to the ceremony if they weren't close enough to be INVITED?
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  • I would talk to the people you are not going to invite first. My fiance and I have a large group of friends and many of them said they were perfectly fine just coming after dinner for dancing and drinks, and we let them know gifts were not neccesary we were just on a tight budget and would like them to be there for at least party of the celebration.  some people it matters but for our group of friends it was not a problem
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