disliking Parent's friends

cbaby206

I am the bride, and my parents are paying for the entire wedding. Sadly, there is a family that my parents are extremely good friends with and my finace, 2 sisters, bridesmaids. aunts/uncles and many other reletives and family friends dislike them as much as i do. I know deep in my heart i may have no choice to invite them, but i am scared that they are going to ruin my wedding. The husband is a loud mouthed and very rude, and the wife is a complainer and thats just the start. Has anyone had to go through this before? How did you handle it?

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_disliking-parents-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aad433b7-6634-4c20-8cdb-dd979c844c7fPost:be16fa8f-d067-42ca-9f2f-a0e956b06bed">disliking Parent's friends</a>:
[QUOTE]I am the bride, and my parents are paying for the entire wedding. Sadly, there is a family that my parents are extremely good friends with and my finace, 2 sisters, bridesmaids. aunts/uncles and many other reletives and family friends dislike them as much as i do. I know deep in my heart i may have no choice to invite them, but i am scared that they are going to ruin my wedding. The husband is a loud mouthed and very rude, and the wife is a complainer and thats just the start. Has anyone had to go through this before? How did you handle it?
Posted by cbaby206[/QUOTE]


Nope, we paid for ours so we had total control of the list.

THey're not going to ruin your wedding; you'll be so caught up in the day that you'll barely notice they're even there.

aleighk1

Unless you are only inviting 20 people, there should be enough people there to where you won't even notice this family. You'll be so busy taking to your other guests, you probably won't even have to worry about it. Just thank them for coming and go talk to someone else.

baystateapple

You will be surprised how many people you won't even realize are at your wedding for the majority of the night (except when you either do a receiving line or table visits).  I had to invite a couple of people I didn't like, out of obligation.  And I didn't even notice that they were there for about 99% of the evening.

You will most likely barely notice that they are around.  I wouldn't stress about it.

Meg1036

Ditto pps.  I can't imagine what they would do to ruin the wedding.  I mean, you may not like them, but you're hardly going to know they're there.  Especially when so many people you care about are there to spend time with.

Meg1979

You have to invite them.  If your parents weren't paying, I would say no, but it sounds like you are stuck.  Are you sure they would make a scene at a wedding?  I mean, I have a jackass of an uncle who was causing a fuss before the wedding, but behaved the day of.  FIrst of all, if they do make a scene/act like asses, make sure no one tells you.  Seat them in the back of the reception hall and hope they keep quiet. 

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_disliking-parents-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aad433b7-6634-4c20-8cdb-dd979c844c7fPost:be16fa8f-d067-42ca-9f2f-a0e956b06bed">disliking Parent's friends</a>:
[QUOTE]I am the bride, and my parents are paying for the entire wedding. Sadly, there is a family that my parents are extremely good friends with and my finace, 2 sisters, bridesmaids. aunts/uncles and many other reletives and family friends dislike them as much as i do. I know deep in my heart i may have no choice to invite them, but i am scared that they are going to ruin my wedding. The husband is a loud mouthed and very rude, and the wife is a complainer and thats just the start. Has anyone had to go through this before? How did you handle it?
Posted by cbaby206[/QUOTE]
No one is going to ruin your wedding. Depending on how many people you're inviting, the chances of you having to spend more than 3 minutes talking to them are slim.

My uncle's ex wife is a giantmegabiotch, and as she divorced my uncle 5 years ago, I wasn't obligated to invite her. I didn't want her there, so I didn't invite her. She showed up anyway, as my uncle's date. It ended up being no big deal at all. I said hello and thanked her for coming and that was that.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_disliking-parents-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aad433b7-6634-4c20-8cdb-dd979c844c7fPost:be16fa8f-d067-42ca-9f2f-a0e956b06bed">disliking Parent's friends</a>:
[QUOTE]I am the bride, and my parents are paying for the entire wedding. Sadly, there is a family that my parents are extremely good friends with and my finace, 2 sisters, bridesmaids. aunts/uncles and many other reletives and family friends dislike them as much as i do. I know deep in my heart i may have no choice to invite them, but i am scared that they are going to ruin my wedding. The husband is a loud mouthed and very rude, and the wife is a complainer and thats just the start. Has anyone had to go through this before? How did you handle it?
Posted by cbaby206[/QUOTE]

If your parents are paying, then they have say over who gets invited.

Like the others said, the day is going to go by so fast and you will be too busy to noticed a loud mouthed obnoxious person at your wedding. Besides, if they make a fool of themselves, they are the ones that will look like an idiot, not you or your new husband.

PsyDet 2155

We have people on our guest list that I dislike but will, unfortunately, have to invite due to familial obligations.  You probably will be so busy the day of you'll hardly notice their presence.

mica178

We had to invite some people who aren't my favorite.  I said a brief hello to everyone during table visits and that was the extent of our interactions. 

Loopyseven

There were some people I barely knew were there.  I felt like I hardly even got to spend any time with people I WANTED to invite and see, much less people we invited out of obligation.

achiduck

Your parents are paying for the wedding, they have control over the guest list.

Even if these people are horrible, sure they know how to behave like normal human beings at a wedding. If not, it'll only look bad on THEM. Plus as PP's have already said you probably won't even notict they're at the wedding, and aside from table visits/receiving line you don't have to spend your reception with them.

tuckhm

If this is that serious of a concern, is it something you feel you can talk to your parents about?

Avion22

I would recommend talking to your parents, and telling them how you feel.  Do you have a specific reason not to want to invite these people (like, the son used to beat you up as a kid or something)?   There's a chance your parents will respect your wishes if you don't want certain people to be invited.

But if you just don't get along with these people, but they're good friends of your parents, then you might be stuck.  Just try not to let it get to you.  They will only "ruin" your wedding if you mentally allow them to.

jemmini6

I had my mom ask me to add a couple of her friends.  I don't dislike them necessarily, but I don't particularly like them, and I'd rather invite MY friends than add theirs, but if it makes my mom happy, I can suck it up and add 2 people that I'll probably say "hi" to and that will be all I'll see them all day.

If your parents are paying for the entire thing, you are just going to have to suck it up and deal with it.  You probably won't even notice them and even if they do make a scene, it reflects poorly on them, not you.