Wedding Etiquette Forum

NWR: Merry Christmas! My shoes will stay on.

I thought this article was interesting.  And even though it's not wedding related, it's seasonally appropriate and related to etiquette.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34371147/ns/health-behavior/

Re: NWR: Merry Christmas! My shoes will stay on.

  • I HATE this. I mean, I don't really mind if it is a good friend's home and I know the policy and do it on a casual basis. But, there is no way in hell I am going to let some one get off telling me to take off my shoes during a party. Even my friends with the no shoes policy wouldn't make people do this for a party. It comes with the territory of letting people enjoy your home. Sure, people are going to leave the toilet seat up, wash towels in disarray, wet glasses on the wood table, and even go hang out in rooms like the master bedroom that you would prefer them not too. It is just what happens because people are rude and clueless.

    This reminds me of one of my favorite SATC episodes where Carrie's shoes are stolen. It is just so good how she makes the woman buy her shoes for her.
  • What???  People send out invites that say "No shoes"?  That's ludicrous.  I can understand having people take shoes off for a casual gathering, like a Superbowl party, with good friends or something.  But holiday parties or things where people get dressed up a little, shoes are often part of the outfit, and that leaves a lot of ladies barefoot.  Ick.

    I think if you don't want to deal with the dirty floors, you probably shouldn't have the party. 
  • That was a really interesting article!  I can't imagine going to a fancy party at a fancy home and being forced to take off my shoes.  We don't make people take shoes off at our house and I think for the most part when people come over, they leave their shoes on.
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  • Oooooh a new blog to read - things i want to punch in the face.
  • edited December 2009

    Wearing your shoes inside a house is completely foreign to me.  I've never been to a home that allows shoes inside, so this wouldn't bother me at all.  I would find it weird that it was printed on the invite itself, but I would never show up to a party thinking I could wear my shoes in their home.

    EDIT:  With that said, I've never been to a fancy, holiday house-party either, so I've never worn a "shoes are part of the look" outfit to someone's home before.

  • I hate this.  I have a couple of friends who do this, and I find it very, very weird. 

    I also appreciate the look of relief when people come over to our house and find out we don't expect them to take their shoes off.
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  • See, I grew up in a house where you took your shoes off (mom's a neat freak paired with cream colored carpets and gross mucky, Alaskan snow crap) I prefer if people remove their shoes when coming into my house.
    At the same time, in some houses I'd be very leery about my removing my shoes so I can see both sides.

    I do think with a party though shoes should be allowed. I'd hope everyone would wipe their feet though...
  • Weird.  Around here it's rude to wear your shoes in someone's house.  I've always taken my shoes off. 

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-merry-christmas-shoes-will-stay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab04964a-0c32-486f-bdc7-0188ec54d77fPost:47d83d6b-2858-48a5-afb6-462773beb8c5">Re: NWR: Merry Christmas! My shoes will stay on.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Weird.  Around here it's rude to wear your shoes in someone's house.  I've always taken my shoes off. 
    Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

    That's pretty much how it was growing up, even at other peoples houses. I think it had to do alot with all the inevitable crap you'd bring in from outside..
  • Probably.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • Around here it isn't really typical to have your guests take their shoes off, considering we don't really get snow or anything.  If it's rainy or gross out I'm happy to take off my shoes...otherwise I see no need to take them off.  It's not like I stomped through the grass, picking up dog shiit on the way in.  (Although my clumsy FI probably did).
  • I always take my shoes off, but our parties are usually very casual, so Hanes sock feet are okay.

    But, if I went to a party where I would dress up that would be heels and jeans hemmed to fit with heels on.  I'm not walking around with 4 inches of denim puddled around my ankles.
  • I've only once attended a party where I was asked to remove my shoes. I was appalled -- seemed the height of rudeness to me. The only thing I can think of in their defense is that it was a casual party, snowy day outside, and kids were also invited. Still.

    My shoes are always part of my outfit, whether I'm formal or not. I often don't wear them at home, but I don't feel right going without when I'm out of the house unless I'm at the beach or a really good friend's house.
  • I don't have a problem with taking off my shoes if I'm just a casual guest, but I do think it is rude when a more formal party is hosted.  I planned my outfits very carefully & I hate having it ruined by having to take my shoes off.   It grosses me out to be barefoot around so many other barefoot people.  Plus my feet get cold it there is hardwood flooring.   I don't wear shoes in my house, but I have my own slippers that I wear to keep my feet warm.
  • Where I am it is assumed that you will take off your shoes if you are entering someone's home, no matter what the occasion.  Now it's very nice if they suggest to leave your shoes on, but it's not the expected practice.
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  • Hmm. 

    I think this can also really depend on the attire.

    If I'm wearing mucky boots that have tons of snow on them then it's one thing.  (although I still don't wan to be told to take them off).

    However if you're having a Christmas cocktail party and I've put on something cute and I'm wearing my 4" heels or new ankle booties then my shoes were chosen to be part of my attire at your home. 

    And I wouldn't have worn my cute silver open toed 4" heels in the mud thankyouverymuch!  Tongue out



  • Well, NSIL is NOT exactly the best judge of being a gracious guest, so I'm not sure it translates to being a gracious hostess, either..... I don't set anything I do by what she does anymore.

    DH better be taking his work boots off before coming on the carpet though - he works in a garage, so he's bringing in all kinds of dirt mucked up with snow/ice/ice melt, etc. in the winter. :)
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  • I have never been asked to take off my shoes at a party before but I do it out of habit. I hate wearing shoes so I don't mind taking them off.
  • Yeah, gross works boots your husband wears on the job are taken off at the door to the home!

    When my uncle was alive as an oil burner serviceman, he walked into the basement and showered before he even approached the main floor of the home.

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