Children question/idea

angie1623

Ok, so I have a question about children.

Inevitably there will be around 10-15 kids at the wedding (from family member's, WP, and important guests coming OOT). I have other guests that have children in town but I am making the invitations only to the parents.

My question is, is it ok to put the kids in a room right by the reception, hire a couple of babysitters and entertain them there for the meals and maybe a face paint type of thing? In other words, I want them there to not take up space in the main reception area, and also to be able to get them pizza and snacks instead of a catered meal. 

Of course I wil let those with infants (which I will have a few) keep the babies by them but pretty much I was thinking anyone 2 and over to be in that room and they can come out and party. It is just mostly for space and food that I would want them to be in there.

Is that ok? or is that considered rude? I know these people can't help but bring their kids because they're mostly OOT. I will also let them know in the website about the arrangments.

thanks for the responses!

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-questionidea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ad28d760-c99f-47d7-b6ce-48c21f40dbb4Post:7d7a71bd-929e-4fcd-8205-f8d2a45fdd0c">Children question/idea</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, so I have a question about children. Inevitably there will be around 10-15 kids at the wedding (from family member's, WP, and important guests coming OOT). I have other guests that have children in town but I am making the invitations only to the parents. My question is, is it ok to put the kids in a room right by the reception, hire a couple of babysitters and entertain them there for the meals and maybe a face paint type of thing? In other words, <strong>I want them there to not take up space in the main reception area</strong>, and also to be able to get them pizza and snacks instead of a catered meal.  Of course I wil let those with infants (which I will have a few) keep the babies by them but pretty much I was thinking anyone 2 and over to be in that room and they can come out and party. It is just mostly for space and food that I would want them to be in there. Is that ok? or is that considered rude? I know these people can't help but bring their kids because they're mostly OOT. I will also let them know in the website about the arrangments. thanks for the responses!
Posted by angie1623[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>What a terrible attitude to have about guests you invite to your wedding. Children are people too; if you don't want them there, don't invite them. Also, some parents may not want their kids left with a strange babysitter even if they are close enough to check on them. 

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jessicabessica

You can offer that room as an option, but you cannot force kids to stay in it.  That would be considered extremely rude and unlikely to work, anyway.  

Plan to have all the kids sitting at places in the reception (probably with their parents).  Talk to your caterer about pricing for a kid's meal--there may be a kid's option or a smaller plate version of what you're offering that will be cheaper.  

angie1623

Children are not people!! lol i'm playing of course I did not mean that in that way. 

I would make the event adult only however, it is just not possible for some of our guests and also not possible not to invite them. Anyway for you it is rude. Ok, that's kind of what I'm trying to get. Whether it is poor in etiquette. thanks!

jennyd412

I have been a nanny in exactly the situation you are proposing. Many of the parents appreciate the option. However, there does need to be flexibility, so that if some kids want to stay with parents all night, they can. You have to make it an option for parents, not a must. Check in with the families beforehand and see who would be interested. I happen to work for an agency part time that provides childcare for weddings. In all honesty, the way it works best is if the nannies head back to the hotel or start at the hotel with the kids, There are a lot of factors that need to be considered. My best advice is check with the parents. I have worked many weddings in which the bride had an idea of how it would work, but didn't check with parents first. In those cases, it doesn't work out well. I hope I am making sense. Overall, many parents like the option, others decline the option...so be flexible.

NYCMercedes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-questionidea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ad28d760-c99f-47d7-b6ce-48c21f40dbb4Post:e1d31aaf-540b-40f1-95a9-ae58e6178a31">Re: Children question/idea</a>:
[QUOTE]...My best advice is check with the parents. ....the bride had an idea of how it would work, but didn't check with parents first. In those cases, it doesn't work out well. I hope ...Overall, many parents like the option, others decline the option...so be flexible. :)
Posted by jennyd412[/QUOTE]

Exactly. Offer this as an option and see if the parents expect to take advantage of this. The parents would also be able to tell you if their kid would even go to the kids room. Some kids are clingy and some like to be with their peers.

Vandelay007

I think it's a great idea to have the option... but ya, you can't lock the kids in and force them to stay in the close by room.

I was a very shy kid and didn't like being around kids I didn't know well, I always preferred to be around my parents at weddings. So I would have HATED this arrangement as a kid, which means my parents would have hated the arrangement too. But for parents who have more social kids, it would be a win-win. Which is why it's a great option... but only an option.

You either have to say "no kids at all" and accept that some people may not be able to come and some may even be mad at you. Or, just accept that there will be kids there "taking up space". 

JaxInBlue

Ditto PPs about offering a kids room as an option - after dinner.  DH and I did that at our own wedding; the kids had dinner in the main dining room with their parents but then were free to move between the babysitters in the kids room and the main reception room for the rest of the evening.  The kids room had games, DVDs and some kid friendly snacks.  This worked for us because the parents knew the sitters ahead of time and because we set it up as a do-what's-right-for you/your kid arrangement.

BreanaThompson

I would definately agree with people that it's a good option but not as something forced. I mean if I got to a wedding with my kids (don't have any yet so this is purely how I feel right now without having any), and found out they would be expected to stay in another room without me and with someone I didn't know I wouldn't be happy. I mean in that situation you are taking kids from there parents for a night, and if you don't tell them a head of time that's even worse. But giving them the option is good.

angie1623

I do think kids are cute, and do not mind having them there, but I guess I was thinking for space requirements didn't really want a 4 year old taking a seat on a table. But, I think what you all have said makes sense and I will actually offer it as an option to the parents and see what they say.

One more questions for the little tiny ones (ones that don't walk and in a car seat) do I need to get them a high chair for them to sit? Probably huh?  

nicoleandersonmd

We do not have that many young kids at our wedding- purely because there are few young kids in our family/friends. We asked the 3 people with toddlers (age 1, 2 and 3) if they wanted to have their little ones with them or if they would like it if we hired a babysitter. They all said they would think it was great if there was a babysitter. (The babysitter is someone we know and trust). We then asked if they would want their child looked after from ceremony to end, cocktail til end or after dinner till end- and they all stated they would probably take the little one to the babysitter in the cocktail hour. So, we have a babysitter in a room near the reception looking after the toddlers- where they will likely be sleeping. Our wedding reception is 8pm-2am (a cultural norm) and the adults want to enjoy it and not have to take their little ones to bed. The next youngest child is my stepdaughter, who is 10. She will be dancing her hiney off all night.

AndreaV26

My friend had little goodie bags for the kids as separate favors. It included coloring books and crayons. And each goodie bag was personalized with the kid's names. The kids felt so special! Consider something like this!