What to do?

maccor16

I've read a lot on this board and I know that you should never invite a guest to a wedding related party or event if they are not invited to the wedding but what if one of the bridesmaids have invited someone to the  Bachelorette party who is not invited to the wedding?  Now they also seem to be pushing for me to invite her to the wedding as well.  =/

A littler background is that I went to hs with this girl we were never good friends we would hang out in big groups that is about it.  All my bridesmaids were a lot closer with her than I ever was. Then she picked up and moved to Florida and did not tell anyone she was leaving and did not keep in contact with anyone.  Then all of a sudden two weeks ago she's back for good she says.

I have nothing against this girl it is just the fact the wedding is next month and invites have been out. I am at a loss because I do not know how to handle this. Do I have to invite her now because my bridesmaids went and invited her to the Bachelorette party?

Summer2011Bride

I wouldn't invite her. It is not your fault that your BMs did something they shouldn't have in inviting her to the bachelorette party. That's out of your control.

egm900

I'm with PP, you don't need to invite her since the BMs invited her without checking with you.  If you have any other wedding events coming up, like a shower, you might want to gently tell them that you would prefer she not be included since you can't accommodate her at the wedding.  

Maggie0829

Since you didn't invite her to your bach party then you shouldn't have to invite her to your wedding.

ghowlett

I say invite her (as long as budget/space allows it).  Your friends have clearly accepted her back into your social circle (so much that they want her to be a part of YOUR wedding), so chances are, she's going to be a part of all other social events in the future.  You'll probably be seeing this girl a lot more now that she's back.  You might become a lot closer with her & feel awkward in 6 months or so when you realize she was left out of your wedding. 

maccor16

Okay thanks ladies, I am glad to see that I do not have to invite her to the wedding since I did nothing wrong it was my bridesmaids inviting her to the bachelorette party. I was really stressing over this yesterday to the point I just stopped answering my phone because they kept giving suggestions of how I should let her be invited to the wedding.  Now I guess I will just have to tell my bridesmaids she's not being invited to the wedding, and hopefully that will be the end of it.

maccor16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae6a4551-57ba-47ab-b76e-1c946f2de5d4Post:9f7b587c-9edf-45d2-ba76-cf1898b6837a">Re: What to do?</a>:
[QUOTE]I say invite her (as long as budget/space allows it).  Your friends have clearly accepted her back into your social circle (so much that they want her to be a part of YOUR wedding), so chances are, she's going to be a part of all other social events in the future.  You'll probably be seeing this girl a lot more now that she's back.  You might become a lot closer with her & feel awkward in 6 months or so when you realize she was left out of your wedding. 
Posted by ghowlett[/QUOTE]

Our wedding is on the smaller side 90 people most are family, I know if I was to invite her my Dad would not be happy for me to add another person,  and my FI said flat out we are not invinting her he is not a huge fan of her.  Maybe if I was going to be living in the area I might feel that way but I will be living an hour and a half away from there so I don't think I will see her much.

ghowlett

Then I change my mind to "don't invite her."