Which weekend day?

HTR10

Hi everyone, 

I've been lurking and only semi-participating but I have a question. 

Is there a particular etiquette on the day you get married? I am planning on having a Catholic wedding with an evening reception. It will be during prime wedding season (most likely June) and there are often discounts offered on Fridays and Sundays--but I'm not sure if they are worth it.

We are having a big wedding party (16-20 people)--and most of them live out of town. Additionally, the wedding will be in my hometown but not my FI's. So although the discount seems really nice I am concerned that if we have a Friday wedding people will have to take off work and the people in the wedding party will have to take off at LEAST two days of work for travel time/rehearsal dinner. All of the out-of-towners would have to leave before noon on Friday in order to make it to the wedding and I'm not sure if that is fair.

If it were on a Sunday my concern is that people would leave super early (who wants to party until 11 pm on a Sunday---and is that considered wrong?) to drive back for work etc. So it seems as though Saturday is the most considerate option but I was wondering if there is anything etiquette actually says about it. 

Thanks for your help!

J&K10910

I don't think you CAN get married in the Catholic church on Sundays, can you?  I know someone else will know better than I.

I'd prefer a Friday wedding to a Sunday wedding if you're set on an evening reception.  Also, you don't HAVE to have a rehearsal. So there's no need to require people to take extra time off work for that.

MyUserName1

We got married on a Sunday and a few of our OOT people thought that was better than a Saturday.  We started and ended our wedding earlier though because of it being a Sunday though.  There aren't any etiquette rules about the day though.  Have you talked to your VIPs?

pillsburyaj

We are having a Friday evening wedding (7pm). We made sure to send save-the-dates well in advance so that people could make necessary arrangements.

If you go for a Sunday, opt for an earlier ceremony and serve brunch. If you opt for Friday, shoot for the evening as to allow people to get off work and get ready etc. 

pillsburyaj

MUN1, I love your sig pic! Gorgeous. 

adamar15

Pillsbury what the fuuuck is going on in your sig?

mica178

I got married on a Sunday at my Catholic church.  The church didn't have afternoon services, so I was able to have a 3pm ceremony and a 5pm reception.

We married on a (minor) 3 day weekend, so many of our guests did not have to take a work day off to travel home on Monday.

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_which-weekend-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aef3cddc-3888-479b-83a3-88c835d3833aPost:5bd377a6-3015-4a3e-8c30-3a6f8402a053">Re: Which weekend day?</a>:
[QUOTE]Pillsbury what the fuuuck is going on in your sig?
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

I just said something about it on SB.  It's crazy creepy.

DramaGeek

For an evening reception, I would prefer a Friday to a Sunday if I could easily take off work on Friday.  If I couldn't, then I'd prefer a Sunday, but we'd definitely leave early because I have to be at work at 7 am.  I totally understand not having it on a Saturday, especially if the savings is significant, but you need to know your crowd.  Check with your VIPs and see what they say.

ElisabethJoanne

ditto PPs about checking with your parish about whether a Sunday wedding is even possible.

Unless your entire bridal party is Catholic and "veteran" bridal party members, I'd strongly recommend a rehearsal, especially if you're having a Mass. Catholic ceremonies are relatively long and complicated. If your bridal party is large, only a majority need to attend, if it becomes an issue. Those who miss the rehearsal can follow those who attended during the "real thing."

We're having our wedding on a holiday Monday, the work-week equivalent of a regular Sunday. I like that I'll have the 2 days before off from work without having to take vacation time. Our ceremony is at 2pm, and we're working hard to arrange our reception so people who plan right can catch 9pm or 10pm flights out, so that they can be at their desks for the first day of the work week. All our guests are in the same timezone, though. I would have been more reluctant to have an end-of-weekend wedding if people were coming from the east (9pm in California is midnight in New York, turning a late flight into an effectual red eye for people who have to fly across the country).

QueerFemme

if I went to a Sunday wedding, I'd leave by 9:30 or 10 at the absolute latest.  Earlier if I needed to drive more than 30 minutes.  I think you are risking losing a good portion of your guests by 9.

Starqueg

We're getting married on a Sunday, but it's a Jewish wedding, so that's typical.  It's the day before MLK Day in January, so hopefully people will have the Monday off to get home on.  

Make sure the most important people can be there (parents, siblings, WP, whoever) and go from there.   In my case, my dad and his friends all work Tuesday-Saturday evenings, so Sunday was the best option.

MrsGandthebeag

I really dislike Sunday weddings b/c of having to go to work the next day.  Even when they're early in the day, I think it's lame.  That's probably due more to the fact that I prefer evening weddings though.  I'd suggest having it on Friday night if the savings are that significant.  We had ours on a Friday night and only one couple missed the actual ceremony.  Either way if you have out of town guests, they'll probably miss a day of work, whether that be Friday or Monday.  At least if it's on Friday people can still enjoy the rest of their weekends and have time to recoup before going back to work.

HTR10

Thanks for all the feedback! I really appreciate it...it gave me some things to think about. I like the idea of a holiday weekend but none actually work with my contract for graduate school. 

I'm not sure if the savings are "significant enough" for it to be worth it...but I kind of wanted to see what everyone thought in their own experiences and decision-making process. 

I know a rehersal isn't required but I want one. I was in a small non-demoninational outdoor wedding (that only lasted 5 minutes) and it was a bit crazy because they didn't have one. Our wedding party will be at least 18 people and they're not all Catholic so it has disaster written all over it. Of course I'd understand if someone couldn't make it but even if only half do it would be helpful  

I will have to ask around to the bridal party...the only problem is since we haven't set a date and it is two years out I was kind of waiting since they're all over the place (one actually lives in Korea).