Clueless about E Party...

amyr2011

asked and answered... thanks!

walgrrl

I agree with everything MilkDuds said.  My Mom and Dad threw my fiance and me an engagement party and they paid for a lot of it (my sister paid for some stuff, too).  I felt bad letting them foot the bill, too, so I kind of just put an offer out there to see where they stood.  I asked, "What do you want me to contribute?"  They said, "If you want to provide the soda, beer, and wine, that will be fine."  So fiance and I bought all the beverages, parents bought all the food, and my sister bought all the decorations.  It was a very nice way of splitting up the expenses.

Maybe you could just ask your MOH what she would like you to contribute.  She will either suggest something (like my parents did), or she will tell you that she's got it covered.  No matter what, make sure to write her a nice thank you note and get her a thank you gift.  You should always do this when someone hosts for you.  I got my parents and sister each a nice box of chocolates.

Summer2011Bride

You won't be stealing her thunder. It's not like your e-party will be ON her wedding day, which I would stay away from if you and many of your friends were invited.

Invite everyone to the e-party to the wedding as well.

I would personally not offer money. Sure, she could just decline it, but I wouldn't want the risk of possibly offending her by doing so. I would let her know how appreciative you are and write her a nice TY note after the party. If you wanted to get her a small hostess gift too, you could.

Kristin789

Looking at your questions, you aren't asking about an Engagement Party.

The bride's parents host the first engagement party, to introduce the groom to the bride's extended family.
The groom's parents host the other engagement party, to introduce the bride to the groom's extended family.

If the party you are talking about is hosted by someone else and will not be attended by the bride's family nor the groom's family - it's not an engagement party, and you can do whatever you want with the kind of get-together/BBQ/openhouse that your MOH is going to host.

Kristin789

Here's more on engagement parties:
http://wedding.theknot.com/getting-engaged/engaged/articles/engagement-party-etiquette-101.aspx

Calypso1977

you can also politely decline the party.