Changing the wedding date

krzcoupon

Hi everyone, this is my first post so I'm hoping yall can help me out. I got engaged in January 2012 and started planning on an April/May 2013 wedding. Well now that its June I'm starting to think I want a September/October 2012 wedding. I've been telling different family and friends about our original April/May wedding plans (as in I haven't sent out any save the dates or anything).

First question; am I crazy to move up my wedding date so soon/is 3 months enough time to plan a wedding?

Second question; is it bad etiquette to change the wedding date even though I have only verbally told people the date?

Again, there is no reason to move my date, I'm just starting to think I would prefer a Fall wedding (April/May is too close to our bdays and our dating anniversary is already close to our bdays and vday so I know that having all of those holidays so close is really annoying and lessens any gift giving because we have to buy each other presents 3 months in a row).

Thank you for your help!

**More info yes fiance is totally on board, we started thinking about Fall bc he brought it up. HIs family will be traveling dowwn from the NE to Texas, 70-80 ppl and we are looking at all-inclusive wedding venues (we were looking at that to begin with so that would help on trying to find all the different vendors), and just something casual. We are looking at serving a whole dinner but nothing out of the ordinary and somewhere inside so we dont have to contend with potential tent rentals and extra set-ups

Thank you for your responses thus far

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-the-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0853be1-d2c5-4e69-8037-b7a05556621aPost:152cc46d-9a3b-440d-ac5c-f0d9a4810475">Changing the wedding date</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone, this is my first post so I'm hoping yall can help me out. I got engaged in January 2012 and started planning on an April/May 2013 wedding. Well now that its June I'm starting to think I want a September/October 2012 wedding. I've been telling different family and friends about our original April/May wedding plans (as in I haven't sent out any save the dates or anything). First question; am I crazy to move up my wedding date so soon/is 3 months enough time to plan a wedding? Second question; is it bad etiquette to change the wedding date even though I have only verbally told people the date? Again, there is no reason to move my date, I'm just starting to think I would prefer a Fall wedding (April/May is too close to our bdays and our dating anniversary is already close to our bdays and vday so I know that having all of those holidays so close is really annoying and lessens any gift giving because we have to buy each other presents 3 months in a row). Thank you for your help!
Posted by krzcoupon[/QUOTE]

How does your fiance feel about changing the date?

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-the-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0853be1-d2c5-4e69-8037-b7a05556621aPost:152cc46d-9a3b-440d-ac5c-f0d9a4810475">Changing the wedding date</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone, this is my first post so I'm hoping yall can help me out. I got engaged in January 2012 and started planning on an April/May 2013 wedding. Well now that its June I'm starting to think I want a September/October 2012 wedding. I've been telling different family and friends about our original April/May wedding plans (as in I haven't sent out any save the dates or anything). <strong>First question; am I crazy to move up my wedding date so soon/is 3 months enough time to plan a wedding?</strong><em> Maybe.  Depends on how formal of a wedding you're planning.  Something fairly casual and intimate, I think you can do it.</em><strong>Second question; is it bad etiquette to change the wedding date even though I have only verbally told people the date? </strong><em>Not even a little bit.  But i'd probably book a venue before telling everyone the date this time.
</em>Again, there is no reason to move my date, I'm just starting to think I would prefer a Fall wedding (April/May is too close to our bdays and our dating anniversary is already close to our bdays and vday so I know that having all of those holidays so close is really annoying and lessens any gift giving because we have to buy each other presents 3 months in a row). Thank you for your help!
Posted by krzcoupon[/QUOTE]

Direct responses in quote!

Bubbalub

Well, I don't think there's anything wrong with it etiquette-wise. But some things to consider: 

1) how many of your guests will need to travel? 

2) Have you already booked a venue and/or vendors? Do you have signed contracts?

3) Do you have your dress or have you ordered it? It can sometimes take up to 6 months to receive your dress, before alterations, from the time you order it.

4) What's wrong with making it a Fall 2013 wedding instead of 2012? That would give you plenty of time and it's only 4-5 months later than you were originally planning.

Just a few thoughts.

LDubHawksFan

My first question is whether your FI is on board with moving it forward.  If so, 3 months is enough time, but finding vendors could be really tough.  Also, are families contributing?  They should have a say in it too.  I'm getting married in Oct and still feel like I have a ton to do, but we have everthing but our cake and flowers nailed down.

aragx6

It's not rude to change it, but it could prove cumbersome for some of your family if they're out of town, and you'll likely be hard pressed to plan a wedding on such a short timeline. It can be done, but if you don't have to, I'd honestly reconsider. Or you could do fall of 2013!

catwine

i don't think it/s bad etiquette to change the date if you haven't sent invites already.  my concern would be getting the invites out in time...maybe you could do a november wedding? an extra month could really help.  i know people that have planned weddings in 5 or 6 months, so it can be done but you may have to settle in some areas. 

it does make sense to move your wedding to fall 2013 but i wouldn't want to wait that long!

OliveOilsMom

I would check with FI's VIPs and see if they would still be able to plan to travel down to the wedding in 3 months.  They may already have been counting on having a year to save for the travel arrangements.

But if your FI is on board and you can find a venue, then there is nothing wrong with moving the wedding date up!

DramaGeek

Three months is enough if you're willing to be open minded and flexible instead of sticking to a vision you've had since you were 12.  We planned my SIL's wedding in less than 3 weeks, so it's totally doable.  The less time you have, the more help you will (probably) need in calling people, taking meetings, etc.  Thus the reason I say we - it was definitely a group effort to plan a wedding in that short of time.

My biggest concern would be with the travelers.  Will they be able to get the time off?  How will travel rates be? etc.  I would run it by them first and then if they're ok with it, go for it!

tkddddddddd

We started planning for August in late/April so yep....totally doable. Not less-stressful (lol) but doable....

sparent2010

I would look into venues, photogrpahers first to make sure you can get what you want still, and if so go for it. You have plenty of time

Summer2011Bride

Not poor etiquette and doable but I'd look into venues and vendors ASAP and see if it's possible. Around here, photogs get booked up over a year in advance, as do popular venues. SO you might have to be OK with being flexible on those things. Wait to tell people the new date until it's set in stone this time.

lyndausvi

The only thing that comes to mind is some of your guests might have already put in for their 2012 vacation.  That might pose a problem for any traveling guests.

Other than that, I don't see it being a problem.


Don't be surprised if people started asking if you are pregnant.   - LOL

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-the-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0853be1-d2c5-4e69-8037-b7a05556621aPost:152cc46d-9a3b-440d-ac5c-f0d9a4810475">Changing the wedding date</a>:
[QUOTE] I'm just starting to think I would prefer a Fall wedding (April/May is too close to our bdays and our dating anniversary is already close to our bdays and vday so I know that having all of those holidays so close is really annoying and lessens any gift giving because we have to buy each other presents 3 months in a row).
Posted by krzcoupon[/QUOTE]

I'm supposed to be getting a present for my birthday, our dating anniversary, Valentine's Day and our wedding anniversary?  My husband and I are doing this wrong.



OP - move it on up as long as everyone is okay with it. 

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-the-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0853be1-d2c5-4e69-8037-b7a05556621aPost:270c2474-8a4c-4a71-a369-d4f657911a04">Re: Changing the wedding date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Changing the wedding date : I'm supposed to be getting a present for my birthday, our dating anniversary, Valentine's Day and our wedding anniversary?  My husband and I are doing this wrong. OP - move it on up as long as everyone is okay with it. 
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]


Add us to the list of doing it all wrong.      I don't even know our dating anniversary.<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" />

krose83013

I wouldn't worry about it! So far we've changed our date twice. Originially it was going to be Jan 1, 2014 but we got nothing but complaints because it was New Years Day. So while moving into our house in March he asked if I wanted to move it up a little bit, like next summer. I thought about it and were going to change to June 1, 2013 which is our anniversary and it's a Saturday next year. Well just before I started looking his cousin set her date and so did my friend for June 2013. So we scratched that idea and now we are looking at Labor Day weekend, August 30 or 31st 2013.

Needless to say, no one cared (at least they haven't said anything) because we never officially booked a location or sent anything with the date.

krzcoupon

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-the-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0853be1-d2c5-4e69-8037-b7a05556621aPost:270c2474-8a4c-4a71-a369-d4f657911a04">Re: Changing the wedding date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Changing the wedding date : I'm supposed to be getting a present for my birthday, our dating anniversary, Valentine's Day and our wedding anniversary?  My husband and I are doing this wrong. OP - move it on up as long as everyone is okay with it. 
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

Haha yall crack me up, once we got married we wouldn't get each other anniversary gifts from when we started dating! We do get gifts for each other on our dating anniversary (right now its January) but that would switch to a new date (our wedding anniversary).

But if I could continue to get gifts for our dating anniversary... I wouldn't mind some flowers and some jewelry :P

babe915

If I were you I would plan for september/october for 2013. Then you will have more luck with vendors and more time to plan. I definetly needed the year to plan its a lot less stressful.

j-harvey

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larnen

I think it's doable.  I would try calling various vendors to see if they are available that date.  My wedding is in October of this year, and I started planning around April.  I had a problem with a lot of the vendors I wanted already being booked.  I found great people in the end, but you just might want to call around and see first.

becky659

We planned our wedding in 5 months (really lazily, might I add). We actually changed the date twice... it was set for May 2013, then we got tired of waiting and thought that my FI was going to co-op again and graduate in Dec 2013, so we moved the wedding to Oct 6th 2012.  Then we discovered living social vacations and wanted to go on a week long honeymoon, so we moved it to June 30th of this year, which is about three weeks from now!

Even though I had our photographer and venue booked, we cross referenced a date this summer that they both had free and took it.  The catch was that we had to be open to anything this summer!
So my advice would be to be VERY flexible, and when you do make a choice, stick to it so people can make travel plans.  I'd also let people know by word of mouth as soon as you can.

cmg317

It's possible, but the weddings I've been to that were planned in a short amount of time felt thrown together, not to mention the stress on the brides.