Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Guest list questions

Should I invite "friends" that I am not close to anymore? We were really close in college and always there for each other, but I haven't spoke to them in about 2 years. My mom tells me that I should because we were once close, but my FI and I are trying to cut down our list. What should I do?

Re: Guest list questions

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    our rule was that if they arent part of your life now, then they dont need to be at the wedding.
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    No. You don't "have" to invite anyone. If you haven't talked to them in a couple years, I would think that THEY would think it's odd you're inviting them.
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    I agree with PP.  If they arent in your life, they aren't on the guest list.
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    We did not invite friends that we are no longer close with.
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    If you aren't close with them now you probably still won't be in a few more years.  No point to waste the space and money on them.  People change and get distant, just a part of life no need to feel bad about it
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    Thanks for all your help! I was afraid of being rude!
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    All these posts about "it's your day invite who your want" make me sick. Are we forgetting that none of us would have much of a wedding if no one came? I was single for many years and went to a lot of weddings that way before I got engaged. And I would be soo irritated when I wasn't given a plus 1 invitation just because I wasn't married. Then I realized something...I didn't have to go to these weddings. If it wasn't important enough to the bride to give me a plus one so I would know someone and be comfortable at the wedding, then it wasn't important enough for me to go. Ladies, give your single friends a plus one option. Chances are they won't use it if all of your other girlfriends will be there. But there is nothing worse than being single at a wedding alone. If you want your single friend there, give her the option of whether or not to bring a date...don't make that decision for her. Don't be cheap on this one...i promise you will come off as cheap and insensitive.
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    Agreed!!
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    We are trying to keep our wedding small and I have an older (Southern) aunt who I am not very close to who keep's talking to my mother about how she and all of my grandmother's sisters should be invited to the wedding!! I have not even sent the invitations out yet or said anything about who is going to be invited, only that we are trying to keep it small. My aunt has not talked to me about this or even called. She is 80 and I am not sure how to bring this up with her. Any advise?
    apryl mae
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    My fiance and I are trying to keep our wedding small and I'd like to know if it's alright to invite some co-workers and not others? I'd appreciate any opinions about this so I can see what people think. Thanks!
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    apryl,
    Just my opinion but coming from a small family I think you should invite her. No other reason than she is your family and you may wish you had invited her when you are older. Either way have a wonderful wedding day!
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    I am in somewhat of the same situation. I am inviting them all because if you were once close then it was for a reason. 


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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-list-questions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0dd944b-e367-426a-9276-1857ef67f411Post:ed10e25d-e496-40e2-84cd-623a704ebadc">Re: Guest list questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]our rule was that if they arent part of your life now, then they dont need to be at the wedding.
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    <div>I am SO glad that this was the very first thing I saw when I went to this board!</div><div>
    </div><div>My biggest dilemma is that I have no interest in inviting my dad's brother's family, except for his oldest son and his wife. I don't get along with my aunt at all, for MANY reasons, or their three youngest children (all are older than I am). I'm worried that this is going to cause problems for me with other members of my family, because they all think that, just because they're family, I have to invite them... but I REALLY don't want to. Not to mention, my finace (oh my god, that's the first time I've used that word! He just proposed today, no more than an hour and a half ago!) doesn't like them, either. He also would hate to see me stressing over the issue of whether to invite them or not, because he knows that I don't want to. That post makes me feel much better now, though, because they're not a part of our lives right now, and it is MUCH more than likely that they still won't be by the time the invitations will actually be going out.</div>
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    I had the same fears as mine was family... but I don't feel bad becase as other ladies have stated it's a waste and you shouldn't feel bad. Just enjoy your day!!!
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    Thank you for your opinion. I did invite her and now I am glad I did. And the wedding was great : )

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-list-questions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0dd944b-e367-426a-9276-1857ef67f411Post:ad8c2b56-ec2d-413f-8a7a-4ce6e43c5104">Re: Guest list questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]apryl, Just my opinion but coming from a small family I think you should invite her. No other reason than she is your family and you may wish you had invited her when you are older. Either way have a wonderful wedding day!
    Posted by okitami[/QUOTE]
    apryl mae
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