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Etiquette

Wedding-Induced Amnesia

Poli's BM attire request thread got me thinking about my own experiences of being a BM and having BMs. For example, as MOH in my sister's wedding I requested please no strapless dress (due to no boobs/armpit chubblies) and no high updos (hump on the back of my neck). I ended up with both, but it was her wedding so I sucked it up. She also instructed French manicures, shoe color/material/style, and gave us the jewelry she wanted us to wear.

Then when she was MOH in my wedding, I told her she could have final say on the dress (as she was trying to transition from maternity weight) and use her best judgment for the rest of the beauty and accessories stuff (the humpneck is a family trait and prefers down-dos). She asked how I decided what to do with myself for her wedding and I recalled it for her, and she had no idea what I was talking about. I was kinda freaked out by that.

Has anyone else had this happen where either they or someone they knew totally forgot about their own weird behavior/demands during the wedding planning phase after the fact? I hear a lot of stories on here like, "my sister made me do this during her wedding and now she's making XYZ-contrary demands for being in my wedding." Is that what's happening, do they just forget? Are they too embarrassed to admit it in the light of normal life? Stories, please.



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Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko

Re: Wedding-Induced Amnesia

  • I have not experienced this but was only a BM once. I'd be pissed.
    Leo says hi. He's...special.
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    Married
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  • I have no idea if I am guilty of this myself but i wouldn't be surprised since most of our ceremony was a blur.
  • Yeah, I feel the same way Anna. But there are times where I'll remember weird exchanges that happened in the frenzy of the actual day or when I was juggling a million things in the weeks before, and I wonder if anything I said or did came out badly. I guess it's pointless to worry about it now, but it's kinda weird to think that I may have come off as a b-zilla and never remember it.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • That sounds wonderful jano. I love laidback brides. :)



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • I don't know about wedding-related amnesia, but I had a friend who had "I'm a biitch" amnesia.  She'd say snotty, bitchy, mean things and then claim later that she never had that conversation.  Note I sad "I had a friend". 

    I really hope I don't have any 'zilla moments. 
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Ooh, that's sucky squirrly. Glad to hear she was your friend. I think claiming that you forget chronic shitty behavior toward people is way worse than doing it and then just fessing up, apologizing, or even defending yourself. There's nowhere to go if someone disavows it completely.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Yeah. . . I heard the other day she's pissy she didn't get an STD for our wedding.  Um, we haven't talked in 3+ years - not since she told me I'd be happier if I'd just settle for someone and get married already.  WTF?  I think she wanted more of her friends to be married.  She now claims that convo never happened.  I have witnesses.  :)  And, she's still not invited.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Wow she really is clueless. She's probably hoping everyone is as "forgetful" as she is. You should send her a special invitation like: "You are cordially invited to witness the ceremony of Squirrly and Squirrly's FI, as they hurry up and settle for each other on June 1, 2010..." Or not. She'd probably think it was real.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Bahahaha. . .

    Her H is kind of a tool.  Not in an intentional way, he genuinely doesn't get it that he's not good company frequently.  I'm pretty sure he's punishment enough for her nasty comments.  But, if ever I need a benchmark of when to let go of a friendship, she's what I compare to.

    I hope if I ever CONSIDER saying anything like that, someone slaps me.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Late to this, but my SIL says a lot of things without thinking. I'm sure she wouldn't remember half of the negative things she said to me during my wedding planning if I were to ask them about her now. I've come to learn that she is the type of person that doesn't always filter what she's thinking from her mouth, but also doesn't have any malice behind it. 
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