Wedding Etiquette Forum

How should I accommodate an out of town officiant?

I am getting married in my hometown (Michigan), but plan to ask my pastor in my current city (Boston) to officiate our wedding. In addition to her standard honorarium, what should I provide as far as travel expenses, etc? Should her husband also be invited? 

Re: How should I accommodate an out of town officiant?

  • I would invite her husband if she is coming to the reception. It would be nice for her to have someone to travel with/attend the wedding with.

    If its within your budget, I would suggest paying for a hotel room for atleast 1 night for her. I'm not 100% sure what the etiquette is but it would be a nice gesture since she is travelling to officiate your wedding, i'm not sure if it is neccessary tho. 

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  • pkontkpkontk member
    500 Comments
    You absolutely should invite her husband.  All spouses should be invited to events - they are a social unit.

    My father is a pastor and has done a TON of OOT weddings.  The couple or family generally pays for his accommodations and/or travel.  You don't need to cover the spouse's travel, but it would be a nice gesture.
  • egm900egm900 member
    500 Comments
    We have an OOT priest, and we are paying for his hotel room, and will also give him a little more money since he's driving his own car.  We asked him if he would like us to supply transportation, but he said no.  
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    You should pay for all of her travel expenses.   You can invite the spouse but you do not need to pay for their travel expenses.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • LP11509LP11509 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Our priest flew from DC to Indiana.  We paid for his flight, hotel, and rental car.  We also made a donation to his church and gave him a gift. 

    Ours is Catholic, so no spouse.  But since your officiant is married, yes you should invite her husband.  
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  • We're asking an old family friend of my FI's to officiate and come in (about 5 hours away).  Airports are out of the question, but if he's willing to do it we're going to pay their turnpike tolls (about $20 each way) and two nights in the hotel.  I'd do pretty much whatever he asked, though because it means a lot to my FI.
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