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inappropriately dressed niece

My wedding is not until next year, and perhaps im jumping the gun BUT here's the issue:

my fiancee's niece is 20 years old and really, a voluptuous beauty.  two years ago she went to my soon-to-be sister-in-law's wedding dressed like a hooker; at least in my opinion.  when you look at those wedding photos, your eyes go directly to her exposed bust, and not to the bride and groom.

i dont want this for my photos, and im at a loss as to how to get her to dress a BIT more modestly for my wedding.  im not saying i want all the women covered to the neck or anything! her family seems to have no problem with how she dresses (her mother was there and allowed her to dress that way...)  but i really dont want her in my pictures looking like pretty woman!

Brides....advice?

Re: inappropriately dressed niece

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    You really cannot do anything. Unless she's a bridesmaid, then you can choose her dress. But if she's not, asking her to dress a certain way would be super rude.

    I have never been to a wedding that did NOT have someone dressed like a hooker. Sure, people notice, but it really will not ruin your day. I promise.

    Plus, the extended family is only in a few pictures and those are not usually the ones your hang in your living room./
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    You absolutely cannot say anything without looking like the crazy bride. Just let it go. 
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    Well, you don't really get to dictate attire for anyone except your wedding party.

    The only option that may exist is, depending on your relationship, you could ask her out for a shopping day, and maybe steer her towards a nice outfit for your wedding.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inappropriately-dressed-niece?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b2d8a8f1-cf59-4d6d-a296-ced98c01b621Post:0f7dddba-824d-4d7b-b384-844baa4320dd">Re: inappropriately dressed niece</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, you don't really get to dictate attire for anyone except your wedding party. <strong>The only option that may exist is, depending on your relationship, you could ask her out for a shopping day, and maybe steer her towards a nice outfit for your wedding.
    </strong>Posted by sleepyb[/QUOTE]

    This is a good idea!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inappropriately-dressed-niece?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b2d8a8f1-cf59-4d6d-a296-ced98c01b621Post:67339554-9ef6-4c7c-8ebc-c4883402ee9e">inappropriately dressed niece</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding is not until next year, and perhaps im jumping the gun BUT here's the issue: my fiancee's niece is 20 years old and really, a voluptuous beauty.  two years ago she went to my soon-to-be sister-in-law's wedding dressed like a hooker; at least in my opinion.  when you look at those wedding photos, your eyes go directly to her exposed bust, and not to the bride and groom. i dont want this for my photos, and im at a loss as to how to get her to dress a BIT more modestly for my wedding.  im not saying i want all the women covered to the neck or anything! her family seems to have no problem with how she dresses (her mother was there and allowed her to dress that way...)  but i really dont want her in my pictures looking like pretty woman! Brides....advice?
    Posted by RachelAndy525[/QUOTE]

    You cannot dictate the clothing of a non-WP member.  I'm sure your niece won't be in very many pictures anyway.  I don't have many of my nieces and nephews from our wedding.  You also do not have to purchase any of those pictures.  If you are truly concerned, tell your photographer that you would prefer that any pictures your FI's niece is in, should be shot from the neck up and possibly put her in the back for group photos.
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    Just let it go. You will have very few pictures with her in them. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Just how many pictures do you plan on taking with your FI's neice?? Are you willing to stir up family drama over one, maybe two photos you will never put in your album or hang on your wall anyway? I had a friend who's daughter came to our wedding dressed inappropriately. The only thing I did about it was mentally chuckle to myself when I saw her miserably cold because she was barely covered.
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    I didn't know that every picture had to have yours eyes go first to the bride and groom?  If that is the case why bother have anyone else even in the shot?


    For the few pictures she will be in this is NOT a hill worth thinking about climbing, let alone die on.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    You have gotten very good advice here.  Let this go or you will look poorly in your FI's family's eyes.  If her parents didn't have a problem with how she dressed a couple of years ago you risk offending a lot of people.

    She won't be in many pictures so don't stress about this.
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    I wouldn't stress over it, she's the one who's going to look like a floozy. It's on her. She's a grown woman, so I'm not sure why you made the comment about her mother "allowing" her to dress that way. Keep her in the back of the few pictures she's in, warn the photographer about overexposure in candid shots and keep in mind - you're the bride, dear. All eyes will be on you, not her boobs.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inappropriately-dressed-niece?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b2d8a8f1-cf59-4d6d-a296-ced98c01b621Post:6ef85270-3d48-42fa-af8e-a0a943f0192b">Re: inappropriately dressed niece</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wouldn't stress over it, she's the one who's going to look like a floozy. It's on her. <strong>She's a grown woman, so I'm not sure why you made the comment about her mother "allowing" her to dress that way</strong>. Keep her in the back of the few pictures she's in, warn the photographer about overexposure in candid shots and keep in mind - you're the bride, dear. All eyes will be on you, not her boobs.
    Posted by CourtaniaLynn[/QUOTE]

    All of this, but especially the bolded.
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    I would also like to say that how she dressed as an 18 year old might be different as a 21 year old (how old she will be at the wedding).   Might not, but I find a lot of people change their attire as time goes on.  Let's up she is one of them.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    The point of your wedding is to get married, not get pretty photos.



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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inappropriately-dressed-niece?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b2d8a8f1-cf59-4d6d-a296-ced98c01b621Post:794e0d32-e08e-4c73-800d-9dfc7c86c5ce">Re:inappropriately dressed niece</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Just how many pictures do you plan on taking with your FI's neice?? Are you willing to stir up family drama over one, maybe two photos you will never put in your album or hang on your wall anyway?</strong> I had a friend who's daughter came to our wedding dressed inappropriately. The only thing I did about it was mentally chuckle to myself when I saw her miserably cold because she was barely covered.
    Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

    This.

    My SIL came to my wedding dressed in a mini green and blue leopard print dress.  If she even slightly bent over you could see the bottom of her butt cheeks.  Out of all the pictures I have from my wedding day she is literally in 4 of them, and that is out of 1000 pictures.  And the only reason I even know what she was wearing was because my Mom and a good friend commented about her outfit a few days after the wedding.  Only when I looked at my pictures did I see just how short her dress was.  All I did at that point was laugh. 

    Let it go.

    Edit:  And just to add, my SIL was 32 when I got married and has always dressed a little more on the revealing side so I didn't really expect anything less (or more in this case).

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    Just let it go - there's nothing you can do.
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    chizzlevizzlechizzlevizzle member
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    edited February 2013
    I say make her a bridesmaid and cover it up. Or let it go. Either way.Cool
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    It's a little cleavage. No biggie.
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    About all you can do is limit the number of photos she appears in and her position in the photos.  You can have her stand behind other guests who are appropriately dressed.

    But you can't tell her how to dress.
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    My cousin is several years younger than I am and dresses very slutty. But it's fine. The world will keep on turning even if her tits are out. 
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    Yeah what I wore at 18 was MUCH different than at 21.  I wouldn't worry about it at all.  She won't be in that many pics, and the ones that she's in, she will look like the moron, not you, if she dresses like a slut again.
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