Well this sucks... WWYD?

lyndausvi

My trip just cancelled.  Which sucks because unlike yesterday it it beautiful out.

Anyway, I have wedding to go to today.  It's for one of DH's employees.  The ceremony is at 3:30pm and reception at 7ish (I really do not know).  Anyway, because of work we were only going to the reception.   Now that I do not have to work I feel like we should go to the ceremony.

But, I've been to this church before.  The church is hot as hell itself.  It looks like an an old school auditorium.  The seats are a sticky vinyl and a whole section rocks whenever someone moves. 

Then there are the sermons   They are least an hour or more (that is just the sermon, not the readings, brusts of singing, vows, etc.  The minister goes off into tangets that they will turn around and see the bride and groom  they remember the real reason they are there.

Being Catholic I'm just not use to that type of wedding.

So.. should I go ceremony or just the reception?

laurenclaire1386

The ceremony sounds not that fun anyway. Would anyone know you didn't work? If it were me, I'd probably stick to the original plan and just go to the reception and tell people it was because I had to work. I'm an awful person, though.

brookelynpaisley

I think you know this answer. Just the reception. Going to that ceremony sounds miserable. That's what I would do.

lyndausvi

Well... I work at the same place, but in a different department..  The bride actually works in the department that makes our food.  Some people would know the trip was cancelled.

[Deleted User]

I would just go to the reception.

kate51485

Well technically if that's the only thing for which you RSVP-ed, that's all you're required to attend IMO, last minute change of plans or not.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_well-this-sucks-wwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b57e2330-530f-4955-8dab-86d45d59bc58Post:90775959-87f6-437e-aecb-c593b3e46e1d">Re: Well this sucks... WWYD?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well technically if that's the only thing for which you RSVP-ed, that's all you're required to attend IMO, last minute change of plans or not.
Posted by kate51485[/QUOTE]

lol  --- I guess you didn't read my 'Morning!!" post.  There is no RSVP.  We received the paper invites, but I know others who just got verbal invites.

betrothed123

I'd skip the ceremony, and if they asked why I'd tell them something came up.  However, I doubt anyone will notice.

kate51485

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_well-this-sucks-wwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b57e2330-530f-4955-8dab-86d45d59bc58Post:b33f196f-0638-4c48-a03d-2ed1e638fec7">Re: Well this sucks... WWYD?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Well this sucks... WWYD? : lol  --- I guess you didn't read my 'Morning!!" post.  There is no RSVP.  We received the paper invites, but I know others who just got verbal invites.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Oh right.  I did see that.  Well, anyway, I wouldn't go unless you really like the person and it would be meaningful to you to see the ceremony.  I agree that no one is likely to notice.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_well-this-sucks-wwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b57e2330-530f-4955-8dab-86d45d59bc58Post:180e6f71-8062-4aad-96a1-3eff7a86d868">Re: Well this sucks... WWYD?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd skip the ceremony, and if they asked why I'd tell them something came up.  However, I doubt anyone will notice.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

It definitely would be noticed either way (we kind of stand out), but I'm not sure it's considered rude in their culture either.

That is kind-of my issue.  In the states I would feel really guilty for not attending ceremony just because I didn't like the church.

ThePinkSuperhero

I think you should go to the ceremony.

lauralaur

I think you should go. Granted, I should pick a better place to get married, but I'd be a little hurt if I knew someone's plans were cancelled and they still didnt' come. But I'm all sensitive like that.

betrothed123

If you'll be noticed, you really should go.

tenofcups4me

I'd skip it. And if anyone asks, I agree with this:

Can you blame DH?  If asked I would say that since you expected to have to work your DH made a prior engagement for the day that prevented the two of you from attending the ceremony. 

JessAndTrav

You know, I just don't understand weddings like that, anyway. I love Jesus, but I didn't feel the need to make my guests sit uncomfortably through something that they may or may not really care about.

While I do think that in the Christian faith a wedding is a way to worship, I do not think it does any good to make any non-Christian guests sit through a full sermon when they really just came to see you get married.

But I'll get off that soapbox...dangerous territory.

baby green bird

i would go to the reception only unless it was a dear friend or family member. it's not in this case,so reception it is.

mocha beans

I'd skip it.  It sounds terribly miserable.  And is the bride really going to know that your trip was cancelled and you are now able to go, and be conciously looking for you.  Probably not; at least I would hope not.

dianenjnj

go to the reception as planned..no one will notice anyway

lyndausvi

update:  DH's number 2 guy called and said "island weddings NEVER start on time.  Just stay at home, catch the first part of the Jets game and show up at the reception with your wife's IPHONE charged so we can see the score".

We are just going to the reception.   And yes my iphone is charging so everyone can keep track of the games.

cukimerrydoll

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_well-this-sucks-wwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b57e2330-530f-4955-8dab-86d45d59bc58Post:16381f12-494f-420a-a80a-847b395311da">Re: Well this sucks... WWYD?</a>:
[QUOTE]You know, I just don't understand weddings like that, anyway. I love Jesus, but I didn't feel the need to make my guests sit uncomfortably through something that they may or may not really care about.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]
I must be lucky... my former priest (he died in 2004... that was a while ago...) never had a sermon last more than 5 minutes.  He left a note on his desk for visiting priests to keep it under 5 when he went out of town.

Our new priest doesn't keep it under 5, but most of the time it's under 10 minutes.  I think he keeps weddings around the 5 minute mark though.

Blusieme

If you dont even know the groom, I seriously doubt the key players will notice 9or care) if you attended the ceremony. 

Go and enjoy the reception. At the reception its not like the bride will take count of guests who went to the ceremony. its their wedding they are BUSY swirling around trying to enjoy themselves with everyone.... 

lyndausvi

It was not so much about the bride and groom knowing or not.   A lot of DH's staff with be there.  They would know (and others), I didn't want to come off rude to them either.

But since his #2 said do not bother, we feel it's okay.

punkyb2b

I think its shittty that you chose not to go.  I'm actually surprised that the majority of people here said not to go.

Not many people really like going to the ceremony.  but you go so you can hit up the reception.  You know how everyone on here says the reception is the thnak you to the guests for coming to the ceremony. 

If it were you, and people decided they would just with to see you and eat the food and drinks you provided cause its hot out, dont you think you would be a bit pissed? I went to a distant family member's wedding and you I knew who had come just to the reception.

Bring another shirt.  bring a fan, excuse yourself to the bathroom every half hour.  I think your excuses of it being hot and a kind of service you arent familiar with are awful reason to not go.

lyndausvi

I get what you are saying punky.   I appreciate your comments.

The only reason we are even invited to the wedding was DH is her boss.  Because of that I really finding this wedding to be more of an obligation than anything else. We also had only planned on attending the reception because I had to work (which was known to most people).  Because my trip was cancelled made me rethink if we should attend or not.

 I think at the end of the day the bride and groom will not care we did not attend the ceremony and only the reception (which today I found out is quite normal for islanders) and enjoy our gift (of cash, of course ).

punkyb2b

Haha!  Impressed you could get through my post Lynda!  I just reread it and holy crap, me and typing fast don't work well together!

I hope you all had a good time at the wedding/reception