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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Rehearsal lunch + gifts

Hi ladies,

We are hosting a rehearsal lunch the day before the wedding, after the rehearsal.  We originally invited all of FI's OOT family to the lunch when we planned it, and they all declined the invite.  They said they couldn't get to the site on time, and they would either see us later or at the wedding.  So, we planned on just bridal party and their dates plus us at the lunch, and we would give them their gifts then.

Fast forward to last night.  After getting home from visiting my mom in the hospital, we find out that ALL of his family has revamped their travel plans and will at the luncheon. I was thrilled that they were going to make it since it means that we get to spend more time together. However, FI is nervous about giving the WP gifts at the luncheon because none of his family is in the wedding, and we would not be giving his family anything (his parents are deceased, so there are no parent gifts for his side).  We are just giving BP members their gifts at the luncheon, including the readers.

He thinks it will be awkward giving out the gifts at the lunch.  I can see where he's coming from, but I've been at rehearsal dinners where not everyone's gotten a gift, and never thought twice.  We don't have another time where the bridal party will all be together until we do photos before the ceremony, and I think it will be awkward distributing gifts then.  I don't want people carrying stuff around at the ceremony or reception. We're not all getting ready together, either.

Thoughts?

Re: Rehearsal lunch + gifts

  • Go ahead and give them out at the luncheon.  You can do so somewhat privately.  His family will understand if they do see it.
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  • That's what I thought. He thinks with 42 people there, nothing will be private, but I think they'll understand that they aren't in the wedding party.
  • I think you're fine to give them their gifts, just don't make a whole grand show it.
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  • I agree with Adamar about not making a grand show of it, then you'll be fine.

    In other news, how is your mom doing?
  • She's ok. She's in the hospital til at least Tuesday.  Didn't have a great night last night b/c she only got a room around 8pm and she'd been at the hospital since 9am.  They didn't give her the final pills til about 245am, so she's wiped out today.  The doctors will have a better idea of the treatment plan after they finish rounding the floor and see her reaction to the high dose meds.

    She remembered it's my birthday today.  She forgot how I old I turned, but she remembered the day.
  • Happy Birthday Chumlee!  I hope things look up for your mom and you have a good birthday!
  • Happy birthday Chum, I hope your mom reacted well overall to the medication. *hugs*
  • You could give the gifts at the ceremony location before you go to the lunch. His family won't be at the actual rehearsal so this may be another option.
    Hope things go well for your mom.
  • Happy Birthday Chum.

    Hope your mom gets better soon.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-lunch-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6200f39-4ec4-4609-ad22-3d3fe106d00cPost:7cd541aa-fafd-49fe-bbf4-d80633757f4e">Re: Rehearsal lunch + gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]You could give the gifts at the ceremony location before you go to the lunch. His family won't be at the actual rehearsal so this may be another option. Hope things go well for your mom.
    Posted by nlindsay17[/QUOTE]



    I like this idea if your FI is worried about doing the gifts in front of his family. But to be honest, I don't think it's a big deal to do it at the lunch either.

    Happy birthday, and I hope your mom recovers quickly!
  • The ceremony location is upstairs from the dining room. Our ceremony location is at the reception hall.  We can give them their gifts upstairs, but they'll come in carrying the gifts.  I think that might be the route we go.

    Thanks for the well wishes everyone. My mom actually didn't tolerate one of the meds well, but given that she weighs 88lbs soaking wet, she doesn't tolerate much well.  I'm going to see her now on my lunch break.
  • Happy Birthday, and not to copy rachers but lots of T&P to your family!!  I hope your Mom gets well soon!!
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  • Thank you all!

    She's ok right now.  Low blood pressure (ok, really low) but she's doing ok.  Hopefully she'll be out by Tuesday!
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