Bridal Shower?

myweddingbells2010

Hi Ladies,
Is there any tactful way to find out whether your maids are planning to throw you a bridal shower? 

I'm asking b/c I am a full time student and the demands of classes and my student-teaching are making life really hectic.  I would prefer not to be surprised by a last-minute request for one of my weekend days as this is usually when I'm scrambling to catch up on work that I haven't been able to complete during the week.

I want to be sensitive to my bridesmaids and I don't want to seem pushy or demanding, so I'm just wondering if this is something I can ask about or something I'll just have to navigate on the fly when / if it happens. 

Any thoughts?

Gismo123

hmmmmmmmm good question!  Not sure how to answer that.....maybe when you guys are having a causual conversation just mention about how busy and demanding school is and what not....maybe if they know you're schedule is demanding they will come to you and ask when a good time to throw a bridal shower for you would be.

KatyRoseM

I would mention in passing not liking surprises.  Then if they wanted to plan something they would know not to have it be a surprise. 

sister2groom

I would mention how much work you get on weeekends, never know how much it will be. Talk to them about how frustrated you are that you can't make plans for the weekend much right now because you're so swamped. Hopefully, they'll get the message.

kimp67

I would just ask one of them.  These women are in your wp because they're your best friends so you should be able to talk to them. 

[Deleted User]

I would mention to them politely when you are on the subject or talking about wedding stuff that you don't want a surprise shower bc of your schedule. I would probably leave it at that. They should be able to get the clue that you need to know ahead of time if they are planning something.

kayakrunhike

Just talk to your MOH.  i'm assuming she's one of the people you are closest to, and hopefully she's aware of what your life is like right now.  Just let her know you would prefer to not have a surprise shower bc of how tight your schedule is,  so you can enjoy it without worrying about losing time to catch up on homework, etc.  I don't think this is an unreasonable request.

Also, I see that your date is in early July.  In general, most showers are a month or two before the wedding.  Unless you are still in high school, or in something that requires all year round schooling (eg second year and up med student),  it may not be an issue at all.  Most colleges have finals completed a week or two into May, which gives you two months before the wedding.  See if your BMs can maybe schedule it in that time period to make it easier on you.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6f5b451-74bc-4d70-b375-9af0723899a7Post:8d9336f2-2d22-473b-85e1-99a581e9ddbe">Re: Bridal Shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just talk to your MOH.  i'm assuming she's one of the people you are closest to, and hopefully she's aware of what your life is like right now.  Just let her know you would prefer to not have a surprise shower bc of how tight your schedule is,  so you can enjoy it without worrying about losing time to catch up on homework, etc.  I don't think this is an unreasonable request. <strong>Also, I see that your date is in early July</strong>.  In general, most showers are a month or two before the wedding.  Unless you are still in high school, or in something that requires all year round schooling (eg second year and up med student),  it may not be an issue at all.  Most colleges have finals completed a week or two into May, which gives you two months before the wedding.  See if your BMs can maybe schedule it in that time period to make it easier on you.
Posted by kayakrunhike[/QUOTE]

She already gave birth. The baby is a few months old now.

kayakrunhike

Eh?  i meant her wedding date.. did the OP have a baby?

Gismo123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-27?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6f5b451-74bc-4d70-b375-9af0723899a7Post:8d9336f2-2d22-473b-85e1-99a581e9ddbe">Re: Bridal Shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just talk to your MOH.  i'm assuming she's one of the people you are closest to, and hopefully she's aware of what your life is like right now.  Just let her know you would prefer to not have a surprise shower bc of how tight your schedule is,  so you can enjoy it without worrying about losing time to catch up on homework, etc.  I don't think this is an unreasonable request. Also, I see that your date is in early July.  In general, most showers are a month or two before the wedding.  Unless you are still in high school, or in something that requires all year round schooling (eg second year and up med student),  it may not be an issue at all.  Most colleges have finals completed a week or two into May, which gives you two months before the wedding.  See if your BMs can maybe schedule it in that time period to make it easier on you.
Posted by kayakrunhike[/QUOTE]

You are right that finals are done in MAY for the SPRING semester but colleges do have something called SUMMER school that usually starts a week or 2 after the spring semester ends.