Wedding Etiquette Forum

What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?

I once made cookies with expired crisco on accident.

They were terrible. Tasted like chemicals.

Share a story or something else. This WR only shiit is for the birds.
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Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:15cfdd6e-86a0-4425-97c4-cd64ce943a08">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I thought of another one. FI and I tried to make this tequila-lime salmon that his Mom makes. She gave us pretty vague instructions so we just went with it. I think we soaked it too long in some way low grade tequila. It was disgusting. We ate a lot of rice that night.
    Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

    Remind me to share my crock pot tequila chicken recipe. I'm at school, but I'll look it up when I get home. I think you'd like it, and not just because you're a lush. ;)
  • I made mashed potatoes with buttermilk the other day from skinny taste. Buttermilk is freaking nasty. They were so gross.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:56f3bd8e-f420-46c6-ae6c-c02781502667">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Fezzy, does H do the cooking?
    Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
    Yep! When we cook at home at least.  We eat out way too much.
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  • The first time I ever made cookies I used a tablespoon of baking soda instead of a teaspoon.  Yeah, don't do that.

    Just last week I made steak fajitas and the steak was so tough it was like gnawing on shoe leather.  Oops.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:06d53056-8655-4388-93aa-77646c4a587b">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked? : Oh, that reminds me of my other recent disaster! I made box mac n cheese and went in the fridge to add the butter at the VERY end...and we had no butter.  idiot.
    Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

    <div>I add a little butter and milk at the end to make it creamy.  One time I had probably 0.00002 ounces of butter left and no milk so I used a little bit of water.  That was some pastey mac n cheese....</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:3ae73faa-e079-440b-9991-f0c53c46239f">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I made fudge with the rainbow colored mini marshmallows instead of regular ones once. I assumed it would be the same because I thought it was just different colors. Turns out they're flavored... it tasted like chocolate Tums.
    Posted by bakerie[/QUOTE]

    That's funny and gross at the same time.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:48583c6b-12f5-4a08-8ff2-3aaaed20e937">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked? : Remind me to share my crock pot tequila chicken recipe. I'm at school, but I'll look it up when I get home. I think you'd like it, and not just because you're a lush. ;)
    Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

    Reminder to Special.  Please share your crock pot tequila chicken recipe with us tonight.  Please and thank you.
  • Recently I tried to make an organic beer mussel mousse soup.  It was nasty.  Not only were the instructions EURO, they were vague. FI and I worked on it together, and it came out of the oven looking nothing like the picture, overflowing and frothy.  FI ate his and mine, after I picked out all of the mussels of course.

    It might not help that I detest beer.
  • The black pepper chicken recipe from the I <3 Trader Joes cookbook. Seriously the only time my fi has taken me up on my offer of "if it sucks we'll get pizza". Then, because we were poor college kids, we tried to rinse off the chicken and reuse it in another recipe. Also a poor life choice.

    DJ - I was at a wedding this weekend and there was a huge banner with a lion that said "Lion of Judah" behind the alter, so naturally I thought of you (and your crazy sil). The church was not, however, decorated in animal prints, although they did have a pretty badass looking sword on the wall....
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:b7485d92-7303-4ff2-b453-3f0e748e8db2">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked? : They have this thing at the grocery store, it's premade and everything.
    Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

    That seems like cheating.  I've done it once or twice, but in my house the only thing we even thinking about baking not from scratch would be brownies. 

    I'm a baker, not a cook.  Although I'm pretty successful at cooking.  I just follow recipes.  But it's not what I prefer to do.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:6704a599-d4cf-4e21-b5b6-37d0d94504a5">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked? : Reminder to Special.  Please share your crock pot tequila chicken recipe with us tonight.  Please and thank you.
    Posted by ski2play[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ditto!  Sounds yummy.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:676c6b62-f2ab-43b9-ac3e-9416dc7db9a5">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked? : Same here with the cooking.  Does your H have any specialties?
    Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
    He makes awesome chicken pot pies from scratch!  But I like easy stuff that he's good at like chicken and rice, meatloaf, chicken parm. 
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  • Cake pops, they didn't taste completely horrible but they looked ridiculously wretched
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:8acd8d5b-4673-4f64-9167-e92407121995">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Recently I tried to make an organic beer mussel mousse soup.  It was nasty.  Not only were the instructions EURO, they were vague. FI and I worked on it together, and it came out of the oven looking nothing like the picture, overflowing and frothy.  FI ate his and mine, after I picked out all of the mussels of course. It might not help that I detest beer.
    Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

    That just sounds...not tasty, even before you said the instructions were vague.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:c0bee4b0-3af9-4127-a90c-69eec29e7e11">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Rosie - <strong>I had no idea Crisco expired.  I just googled that (yes I have no life) and they said that it would smell rancid... eww!</strong> When I was first starting to "cook" a long, long time ago, I made some Mac N' Cheese.  Yeah I know it's pretty hard to screw that up BUT I did.  The bottom of the saucepan I used somehow peeled so there were black metallic peelies all in the mac.  To this day my mother jokes about how she thought I'd never be able to cook since I couldn't even cook mac... but in my defense it was the pan not me!!  (clearly I'm still not over this issue)
    Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

    If you keep it in the fridge it will last longer.  I don't use Crisco often, but I have a can in my fridge that's too old to admit to and it's still good.

     

  • MattsPenguinMattsPenguin member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2012
    Rach, we just made homemade ice cream last week for the first time. I was scared, since I only had 1 oz of unsweetened chocolate, and it called for 4 oz.  My friend brought over this gritty salt and pepper mexican unsweetened chocolate.

    It actually turned out delicious!  Mmmmm . . . we need to make more.  The only problem is the 15 hour lead time for putting the ice cream bowl in the freezer.
  • I made a pork roast with white beans in the crock pot. I had to stay late at work and by the time I got home it was like eating pasty mushy goo. Never again.
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  • For Christmas this year I decided to make a recipe of Paula Deen's for dessert.  It came out of the oven tasting like dish soap.  It went straight to the trash.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:cc8be7dd-cc99-4ec4-8f5c-a56defdc83e7">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked? : Even if you just want to eat the dough?  That's the impression I got from your first post. And now I want brownie batter.
    Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, even just for the dough.  If you take the time to make the dough, you might not feel as bad just eating it.

    Of course I wouldn't turn down pre-made cookie dough.  We just never have it on hand.

    Mmmm, now I want uncooked baked goods, too!  Salmonella be damned!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:7891a65a-ef24-443d-8538-970120433dd8">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked? : I add a little butter and milk at the end to make it creamy.  One time I had probably 0.00002 ounces of butter left and no milk so I used a little bit of water.  That was some pastey mac n cheese....
    Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

    Whats worse, is this was the box stuff that literally has 2 additional ingredients.  So  I put in my powder sauce crap, poured in my milk, stirred to dissolve the powder, reach for the butter aaaaaaaaaaand.  fail.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:b8089497-aed7-42e7-947b-02104fb07de6">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked? : That seems like cheating.  I've done it once or twice, but in my house the only thing we even thinking about baking not from scratch would be brownies.  I'm a baker, not a cook.  Although I'm pretty successful at cooking. <strong> I just follow recipes.  But it's not what I prefer to do.</strong>
    Posted by MattsPenguin[/QUOTE]

    <div>Same here... </div><div>
    </div><div>Sometimes I like to pretend I'm my mother who is full blooded Italian and an amazing cook who just throws a bunch of sheeit together and it turns out awesome... then I remember I am not her and go back to following recipes, when what I have prepared tastes like crap.</div>
  • I  make some pretty damn good pizza from scratch, if I do say so myself.  I made a Greek pizza for NYE that was AWESOME.  The mixer with the dough hook made making the dough a snap.  I love that thing.
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  • I also made tahini lime cookies once and I didn't have any lime zest, so I used lime juice.


    That was a bad idea.  Talk about bitter cookies...

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  • I tried to make andes brownies but in a muffin tin so they would be bite sized.  I didn't flour/grease the baking cups they stuck to the brownies.  They taste ok once you ripped of the paper (a huge chore) some of FI's lab buddies from India were at the party, and one of them actually ate the paper "because it tasted so good, like the brownie" I was so embarrassed.  I will never do that again.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:5106d093-77e5-4d2d-8699-e82e53fd4bc0">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked? : Was it potato chip crusted? H saw a fish recipe for that and told me make it. Potato chips do flame up nicely, don't they? :)
    Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

    Yes, it was. If I remember correctly, it was made on the stovetop. I've since made it in the oven on a wire rack over a baking sheet, and it turned out fine.

    My mom is diabetic, and was diagnosed when I was 16. For two years, we had plain baked chicken three or four times each week  because she was afraid to try something new that still fit into her diet. To this day, I will not eat a plain baked chicken breast.
  • MattsPenguinMattsPenguin member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:2eebd369-ea2b-4f10-abd9-5da007c77573">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked? : Yum! Do you use eggs and heavy cream and all that jazz? That's what we've been using and it's all turned out SO freaking good. I think our ice cream bowl takes 6-8 hours but we always forget to put it in. We're making peanut butter ice cream next!
    Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

    Yup, eggs, heavy whipping cream, sugar, chocolate.  I was really surprsed at how creamy it was.

    We have a Kitchenaid.  We have to put the bowl in the freezer for 15 hours BEFORE making the ice cream.  Then another 4-6 hours afterwards.  Whatever it's really awesome.  My mom got it and a Ben and Jerry's ice cream recipe book for us for Christmas.
  • Wait - I take back my previous answer to this question.

    In 6th grade our class did a math project about budgeting for a dinner party. After we presented our projects, we were each supposed to bring in one recipe that was on our dinner party menu. Well, my partner and I picked a whole bunch of crazy recipes from old church cookbooks, and decided to make coke salad. Serioulsy. It was actually even grosser than this one looks:

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  • When I was in college, I thought it'd be a good idea to make "low fat, healthy" dessert for Thanksgiving.  Lowfat pumpkin cheesecake, lowfat brownies.  Tons of weird fillers and artificial crap.  Everything tasted chemically and had the texture of wet cement.  I ruined TG dessert.  :(
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-thing-ever-cooked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b14cef-4b15-42e4-8ecc-aef750f0489aPost:e0684c35-730e-4cf3-93c1-8082f09e0d8c">Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is the worst thing you have ever cooked? : Yup, eggs, heavy whipping cream, sugar, chocolate.  I was really surprsed at how creamy it was. We have a Kitchenaid.  We have to put the bowl in the freezer for 15 hours BEFORE making the ice cream.  Then another 4-6 hours afterwards.  Whatever it's really awesome.  My mom got it and a Ben and Jerry's ice cream recipe book for Christmas.
    Posted by MattsPenguin[/QUOTE]

    We have the same ice cream maker. We got that one because it took up less room than getting an additional appliance, and we have an itty bitty kitchen.

    Now, after I make ice cream and it's ripening in the freezer container, H always rushes to wash the mixer attachment and puts it back in the freezer so it's ready for the next batch. Man loves ice cream.
  • Coke salad huh?  The name just makes me want to vom... 
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