hello!
So we are having two readers at our ceremony: my FI step mom and my cousin. Do we get them gifts for reading? I mean, I would feel awkward inviting them to the rehearsal dinner and not showering them with gifts like we are our bridesmaids and groomsmen, but at the same time, there is a little drama here and I almost want to be stubborn.
Back story - my FIs dad was surprised when we asked if he would want to help with the wedding (not just financially, but offer any type of assistance). He said he would look over his finances and get back to us. Well, guess what, we never got the phone call. Though when FI's mom (ex wife) asked FIs dad what he was planning on doing, he said he was going to help. Now, I don't care that he can't help financially, so far we've got this on our own, though we are scraping and it would be nice. I'm just a little irked that he never even said "no, sorry, times are tough, I'm not working, just can't do it". That would have been FINE with me. Or even to have told FIs mom, that he wasn't planning on helping instead of getting my hopes up (we're less than two months from the wedding, so I'm guessing he isn't going to help). So anyway, come my bridal shower, FIs step mom didn't show up or even send a card - thanks for inviting me sorry I couldn't make it. I don't care if there is no money in it! At least acknowledge this is happening! When I called last week to ask what step mom is planning on wearing so I could start geitting a handle on corsages, she said she was so far from even thinking about it. ???? And then when I talked to her about the reading (we gave her the option of picking her own if she felt moved by one) she said she hadn't even begun to think about it. Well thank you, I'm so happy that what we have asked you to do, you haven't even thought about. Not to mention how absent you've been through every other part of this. I'm a little irritated and my FI and I decided we aren't getting them parent gifts. His mom helped us financially and she is planning on helping with a bunch of DIY stuff so yes, we are going to get her a gift, but the dad, hell no. So my question is this - aside from not doing a parent gift, do I still have to get step mom a "thanks for reading something" gift?
Then with my cousin, I just found out that she was a lil upset she wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid (we rarely talk and aren't close so it was a real shock to me she felt this way). She even commented when she gets married I'll be one of her bmaids (which I take with a grain of salt, cuz she isn't engaged yet so I can easily be replaced). Regardless, we asked her to do a reading for us and she is planning on getting her hair done with us and I guess getting ready too. Don't know if she is going ot ride with us in the limo to ceremony, but whatever. Do I get her a gift for her sudden involvement and being a reader? And if so, do I get her something different than what I got the bridesmaids? I got them all Dooney and Bourke wristlets and bought an extra one I was going to give to cousin for Christmas, but if she sees I got them for the girls will it look stupid as a Christmas gift now?
OMG I'm so not good with this whole etiquette thing. Help please, I'm actually trying not to hurt people's feelings!