need an opinion

Knottie1453488580

I had a friend get engaged a few months after me...she picked her wedding date as the week before mine.  Should I be mad or just let it go?

FutureMrsTR

I don't need a clicky poll to tell you should don't really have a choice, you have to let it go because you can't control her wedding.  It may be inconvenient for both of you and any mutual friends, but you can't do anything about it.

baystateapple

She has the right to pick whatever wedding date works best for her.

If you make a big thing of this, you're going to look like a biotch.  Let it go.  It's okay to be disappointed, but don't make a big thing of it.

laurenclaire1386

Let it go. I get that it can be inconvenient if your guestlists overlap, but think of it this way: you and your FI picked a day that would work for the two of you. She did the same thing. Don't take it personally.

[Deleted User]

before the "you have one day!!" brigade arrives, i'll just go ahead and say that's rude, if you're somewhat close and share some of the guestlist. she may end up on her hm during your wedding.

salt78

Not a big deal. I'd be more annoyed if it were a family member. 

squirrly

It's a little rude.  But it's really also NBD.  LVB and I are friends.  She came to my wedding, which was the week before hers.  I missed hers because I was on my honeymoon.  Now, granted, we became friends here after we had set wedding dates already, but still.  The world didn't end.

Be thankful she didn't pick the SAME date as yours.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinion-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8c753db-b143-4c4c-87c8-8e20adfc7994Post:85055070-bc52-4108-9939-02a11a4bdc55">Re: need an opinion</a>:
[QUOTE]I disagree with the "I never get upset over anything" police that always throw everyone's feelings down the drain. That sucks that she did that, part of picking a date that "works for you" should include, "hmm is anyone else I know having a wedding close to that date?" Bottom line though, there is nothing you can do, so just imagine that venues were all booked and she was desperate for a date, which is totally possible. 
Posted by scurtis07[/QUOTE]
Well, the question wasn't "Does my friend suck for doing this?" It was "should I be upset?" And as we've already established, there's not much OP can do about it, so why get worked up over it?

MISSCOURTNEY20

Your wedding is one day and one day only. You don't get to reserve the weekend before. Sorry!

eshaufle

I think you have the right to be disappointed if this is a good friend of yours.  I know I'd be sad if a good friend of mine couldn't be at my wedding if she was on her honeymoon or any reason for that matter. 

There's nothing you can really do it about that day but I'd keep the communication open with her about not having conflicts with showers, bachelorette parties, dress shopping, etc  as much as possible so you can both participate in each other's special events and keep hard feelings to a minimum.  And I don't follow the guideline that you get one day.  It's not a day...it's a process.  Maybe for some people it was just a day but I know that for a lot of people the consideration does not begin and end on that one day.  There are things leading up to that day that are enjoyable and special.  Hopefully both of you can enjoy your separate processes despite the closeness of your dates.

Brooklclark

It could have been worse she could have chose your date. look on the bright side you can go see what works and what doesnt and u can make changes

Knottie1453488580

Thanks Guys.  Offically "let it go" and I'm over it.

ootmother2

I agree with Daff Jill to a point.  A good friend (such as a bridesmaid or MOH) wouldn't think of doing this.

A casual friend, okay, maybe she didn't know.

Either one, you have to let it go, even if it stinks

shanno1676

Everyone here is so laid back and cool...

Honestly, yeah I would be upset to.  I had my wedding booked for almost 6 months when a really good college roommate of mine said she booked hers for the weekend after mine.  I was a little hurt to be perfectly honest.  We will have a big group of people that are going to both, and I don't want people comparing our weddings.  It sucks that most of those people are out of town also which 2 weekends in a hotel can get pricey.  Also, it sucks that I will miss hers because I'll be on my HM. 

It hasn't affected our friendship in the slightest.  I did tell her I was sad to be missing her wedding, and I hope that she will not be to busy to miss mine.  But deep down I'm still bummed about it, and I have a right to feel that way.